Unlucky, Unblessed

[VanHelsingh]

Well, Maharaj is beant. I just called India this morning and things are looking better. My aunt had gone to a wedding and there she ran into some old friends she hadn't expected to see but anyways they have a son who is amritdhari, exactly my age and is from just the kindof family my parents were looking for. My dad is to go see him in a few days and from the looks of it, this might be it. I can take amrit now without my family preasure to wait because the guy I am probably gonna marry is amritdhari.

Thanks for your guys advice and I am sure you guys did ardass too because things worked out so quickly. thank you

Hope it all works out for you.

[guptkuri]

Hope it all works out for you.

thanks me too. I am actually really nervous because I am not suppose to be knowing all these things. as far as my parents know I am clueless. lol My aunt (the only one keeping me in the loop) offered to force them to tell me and make the guy call me before everything is finalized but I said no. Lets see what happens...

[VanHelsingh]

thanks me too. I am actually really nervous because I am not suppose to be knowing all these things. as far as my parents know I am clueless. lol My aunt (the only one keeping me in the loop) offered to force them to tell me and make the guy call me before everything is finalized but I said no. Lets see what happens...

Exciting times ahead, for sure. Just some brotherly advice (if you wanna take it - if not send it right back :D): Never reveal too much to the other prospective partner in these engagement situations. Always keep a level head and remain in control - don't let the situation spiral out of your grasp so that others are pushing for certain things, whilst you're not totally sure of what's occuring. Try to obtain a firm handle on the personality of the guy and his initial habits, etc. If you're savvy about it, you can learn a lot about someone just from their behaviour around other people and their body language. Finally, trust your instincts. (All this is on the assumption you'll be going to Panjab to formalise the engagement before marriage?)

EDIT: Obviously you won't learn everything in an hour. But you can learn a fair bit.

[guptkuri]

Exciting times ahead, for sure. Just some brotherly advice (if you wanna take it - if not send it right back :D): Never reveal too much to the other prospective partner in these engagement situations. Always keep a level head and remain in control - don't let the situation spiral out of your grasp so that others are pushing for certain things, whilst you're not totally sure of what's occuring. Try to obtain a firm handle on the personality of the guy and his initial habits, etc. If you're savvy about it, you can learn a lot about someone just from their behaviour around people and their body language. Finally, trust your instincts. (All this is on the assumption you'll be going to Panjab to formalise the engagement before marriage?)

I can always use brotherly advice, thank you for sharing it with me. I have tendency to talk alot and get hyper and stuff, so I probably will not be talking to him much over the phone or nothing. I think email is safe? And his family already knows I am like that; One of the first things my aunty told them was that I talk alot and that I want to take amrit. As for him, I am really just trusting my family on this matter, I will be willing to adjust to whatever my family picks for me.

The thing no one really talking to me about whats going in India and the guys and etc, I don't know whats gonna happen next. My aunt is the only one that shares anything and though she gets the most say in the guy, end of the day my parents will say yes or no. So if my parents want me to go to india and get engaged, I will. If they want me to fly down to get married in a few month, i will. Just whatever they wish.

[VanHelsingh]

I completely understand about letting your parents take the lead. There's no issue with that. Just dial down the crazy (as you said). :lol:

As for what's going on in India with guys, etc., well that really doesn't matter if the prospective fella your family is looking at is Amritdhaari. Your only concern is what he's like - the rest of them shouldn't really be an issue.

[sall]

WJKK WJKF

Hope all goes well, just one word of caution, the downside risk is that amritdhari or non amritdhari guys in India are desparate to get abroad at any cost and has been the case for the last 30-40 years. And I know personnally that some of these guys turn out be utter ugly inside, nothing of amrit or sikhe is inside some of them and the hide behind the amritdhari balaclava really well. The only way is to take it slow and find out about his personality too if it matches that of a Gursikh.