Sanjog

[Guest sonia]

Hi,

What does the word 'sanjog' mean in terms of marriage? Like when they say, finding and marrying someone is down to Sanjog.

Has Waheguru already written who we are to marry? Like the saying ' marriages are written in heaven but celebrated on earth..the souls of two unknown people written from birth'

[sikha]

Sanjog meang union of souls.. Its the Gurmat equvelant of "viah" or "Shaadi"....

[Guest Guest]

"Sanjog" simply means Union.

In most cases the word is used in reference to something unknown, something unexplainable or destiny.

As for marriage, my understanding is that God provides opportunities but let's an individual exercise his or her discretion in availing any opportunity.

Thing is, one has to be willing enough plus make the right efforts.

[Guest sonia]

Many thanks for ur reply Sikha..

Does that mean that who u are to marry is already pre-written. Ur husband/wife is out there and waheguru knows who it is because he has decided, and its just a matter of us finding him/her or them coming to us?

[Guest Guest]

It's a matter of them coming to you don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Before we were born in this world God provided us with everything, family, shelter, etc. if it's in our karam to get married it will halon when it's supposed to happen.

A lot of people worry about marriage. Dont stress about it. Don't know why people think so highly of marriage, it's not some fairy tale, it's anything but that.

[mundasingh123]

It's a matter of them coming to you don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Before we were born in this world God provided us with everything, family, shelter, etc. if it's in our karam to get married it will halon when it's supposed to happen.

A lot of people worry about marriage. Dont stress about it. Don't know why people think so highly of marriage, it's not some fairy tale, it's anything but that.

People who have sisters will know why its so important for people to get married within a certain age . Same with Guys . Come back to the reality . Guess its because you are still too young for marriage and you think that everyone should think like U do

[Guest Sonia]

Guest..thank-you so much for ur reply.

I have been thinking about afew things lately, like if Waheguru has already written and planned certain events in our lives such as marriage, and if it is does it happens when waheguru has planned it and wants it. So waheguru has written who u are to marry and when it will happen, when those two people just come into each others lives.

This might stupid but obviously my mum is stressing about me getting married, I want to get married too, but to the right person and to someone whom I feel a connection with, the sort of person I want. I try to tell my mum again and again not to stress and that it will happen, when it's suppose to, its sanjog.

I feel that with my mum being desperate she is attracting any sort of guy for me to meet just so that I am married soon (she's not going to force me or anything but she wants it to happen quick). I feel that with her being desparate, she is stopping the man that is meant for me from coming into my life, her negative emotions/actions are overtaking my positive feelings I am trying to put out there for the sort of guy I want.

[Guest Sonia]

Mundha singh what is ur view then?

[mundasingh123]

Mundha singh what is ur view then?

What i think about Sanjog is that perhaps who we are to marry could be pre - ordained but that one will find bliss matrimony in the alliance cant be taken for granted otherwise why should people have divorces and not all find happiness in marriage .

And whats true about it is you just cant leave the matchmaking part to divine forces since the acceptability criteria is governed by Economics (How much the potential mate earns ) , presentation ( Looks ) , Cultural aspects ( Background etc ) so its highly complicated .

So perhaps if a person earned 1 bit more than what he earns now and / or takes some care about his presentation , maybe he would have prospects of finding a better match .

If i were to like a person and i werent earning well enough to impress her Dad , expecting divine forces to intervene would be fool hardy .

and of course things are also governed by the ever-going tussle between demand and supply . The more matches i get , the higher would be my threshold level or benchmark criteria for selection , so what i am trying to say is the higher number of choices that i have for my better half , the more would be my perceptive opportunity cost .

For example if i get a good looking girl who doesnt have much inclination to taking up household responsiblities and making rotis for her husband , i could lose out on a prospect who makes good rotis and likes to take up household responsibilities . Similarly if i were to marry a girl who is good natured but does not have good family contacts , i could be losing out on a girl who is good looking and has a powerful god father .

I have yet to find out the truth of the so called Sanjog . I havnt found my better half so far inspite of the fact that i have been searching for the past 20 years.

[OhTwadi]

Sanjog is like hukam. As Guru sahib says in JapJi sahib, 'hukam na kahea jaee' (hukam can not be described)