The Khalsa - A Message Directed At The Elders

[Guest _Kaur_]

Waheguru jee ka khalsa, Waheguru jee kee fateh.

I hope you have received my long post in response to all your posts.

I think what I was initially trying to say was that I don't feel like I have a family, I am referring to the khalsa family (I imagined it to be a warm, loving, caring, supportive family)... (of course, now that you have replied, I can't say that is entirely true, none of you know me, yet you have taken time out of your day to reply to me which is most kind)... it was just that many times I have felt really low and I did not feel I had a brother, sister, mother, father to talk to and when I tried to open up to an elder, I felt even worse because they passed me onto someone else without even considering how I would feel about that. It just upset me because I was already very down at the time and it was a personal matter.

[MokhamSingh]

Pehnji

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us here. I can relate a lot to what you have said. My offer still stands with regards to talking/discussing any subject that you wish. I remember as a kid my mother used to say to me that one should always talk to others but if for someone reason there isn't anyone around then even talk to the walls around you. Even to this day I appreciate her advice. I've never been in a position to resolve anyone's issues but by listening and sharing thoughts the burden seems to get lighter.

With regards to the time for Gurbani point I would like to share a personal thought. Sometimes we can spend hours on Nitnem but on some days the mind only focuses for a few minutes and the rest of the time the tongue is reading Gurbani but the mind is straying all over the place. The point is that even if you can focus totally on Waheguru for say five minutes that will give you an immense amount of bliss. Your focused five minutes will be more beneficial than my hours of straying Nitnem.

With regards to being friendly I would say it's just trial and error. Sometimes we're shown affection , respect , kindness etc. and sometimes we're greeted with rudeness. Personally I keep myself to myself unless someone wishes to extend the hand of friendship. I find that more comfortable.

If you're looking for Sangat on this forum then I will be more than happy to associate with you. I'm probably old enough to be your father and as such my friendship with you would be based on such a relationship.

I'm here for you via Sikhsangat as an Amritdhari father if you see me as such. I'm born and bred in England without any taboos so there's no need to feel uncomfortable on any point.

I hope you will reply and look forward to seeing you again on here.

Best regards & may Waheguru fulfill your desires.

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Kaur i think you should settle down i.e Get Married.

That will solve all your problems.

Check out http://gurmat.com/browse.html

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[Guest KG]

Bhenji I empathise with a lot of what you have shared, re. Job, lonely. I say this because I don't want you to think what you are going through is odd and as much as we may think we are alone how can that ever be when we have Maharaj forever by our side.

Without trying to sound patronising I think you have been really brave in expressing how you feel in your posts and hope you find what you're searching for

[Guest KG]

P.S. please ignore the person who spoke about marriage. Probably says more about them and how they problem solve (!) Look after yourself.

[Mat Pulo Rai]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Kaur i think you should settle down i.e Get Married.

That will solve all your problems.

Check out http://gurmat.com/browse.html

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

How will getting maried solve the problem, apart from having another person in your life.. im sure she has family and its not about being alone per say, meaning not around people, more the feeling not being seen/recognised. This is just ignorant to the question.

I acutally wrote alot but just deleted it, as i dont know the cause of your loneliness and will only be a hypothetical answer. Sry i couldnt help benji

[Guest _Kaur_]

Waheguru jee ka khalsa, Waheguru jee kee fateh

Well quite a few people have told me to get married with the view that it will resolve my problems. I can't say whether it would or wouldn't help but one thing I will say is that it is easy for people to say get married but at the end of the day, I don't think it's in my hands. My family started looking years ago, I put all my effort into trying to make a ristha happen because for a short time I thought he was the right guy. Looking back now I am so glad it never happened. I don't know if I will ever get married now but like I said in one of my earlier posts I would much rather stay single than have bad sangat. If I don't meet a decent guy, I am not prepared to get married for the sake of it.

Yes, I do have family, it's not that I don't have people around me. I can't say I am too fond of most of my family due to the way they have tried to 'control me' and my decisions in life. I find it difficult to appreciate people that think only of themselves, they had no regard for my best interests only their own.

I am kinda like you too (Mokam Singh) in that I keep myself to myself.

[Guest _Kaur_]

:-( i cant really find words to express how i feel right now. sometimes i find it difficult to look after myself, well pretty much every day i do a bad job of it.

[Not2Cool2Argue]

I think Amrit Vela and a schedule might help with the "i find it difficult to look after myself" part

as for the sadness, do Sukhmani Sahib, Dukh Bhajani Sahib and lots of other bani, when I had really bad times, doing bani really made a difference. For example I was in a car accident (totally my fault) i ruined the car, felt so useless, was depressed and had to listen to my parent gala "scoldings" everyday...so i started reading bani just to stay away from them... and soon I was happy and parents didn't talk abt the accident so much.....

But when i'm happy, I can't do paath, but when something bad happens or i'm under a lot of stress at school, i wish so badly to have time to listen to kirtan and read bani....but then when stress or depression(not real depression just sadness that nothing matters, wasting my life) is gone...the urge to do paath goes away....so sometimes i like the sadness and it reminds me of the pangti:

Dukh Daaro Sukh Rog Bhaiya......

[Guest _Kaur_]

I just don't have the time to sit down and do loads of paat, otherwise of course i would. I try and play sukhamani sahib once a day whilst I am doing other things.