How Can I Become Sikh Again :?

[Guest fool]

ok how to start i am boy who lives in delhi ...

i am 17 will turn 18 this year ...

ok there was a time i eat chicken every day i want able to live without chicken ... and i was very much addicted to adult sites for like 4 years and

never did nitneem

and one day i thought should i become a amrit dhari ?

so i asked my friend he told me i could go with a guy tomorrow morning in sis ganj sahib they do amrit sanchar so i did go and become a amrit dhari

it went great for some day did nitenem and one day i went back to what i was...

now i cant do anymore i am totally in control of maya , kaam (lust), and kroodh (anger) ..

i cant do niteneem any more..

i fell ashamed of my self

{{i know i am not a sikh as a sikh is one who always go on gurus way(hukumanama)}}

but i want to become a sikh again

my maan says i should remove my kirpan

but i just couldt as what will my parents and socitey think about me then

and i know i am a black spot on the name of khalsa

i dont have gutts to go and tell panj payaras about what i have did

i dont think guruji will ever forgive me

what can i do

as i know only because of guru grace i becomed an amrit dhari but my karam (actions ) are taking me away from guru

i do not drink or eat eggs , meat , or chicken

but i still dont do nitneem and watch adult stuff

i cant control myself

please help

[Guest andy murray]

pesh

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Read, think and act as per Gurbani

ਪਉੜੀ ॥(SGGS jeeo - Ang 91)

Pauree:

ਕੀਤਾ ਲੋੜੀਐ ਕੰਮੁ ਸੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਹਿ ਆਖੀਐ ॥

Whatever work you wish to accomplish-tell it to the Lord.

ਕਾਰਜੁ ਦੇਇ ਸਵਾਰਿ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਸਚੁ ਸਾਖੀਐ ॥

He will resolve your affairs; the True Guru gives His Guarantee of Truth.

ਸੰਤਾ ਸੰਗਿ ਨਿਧਾਨੁ ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤੁ ਚਾਖੀਐ ॥

In the Society of the Saints, you shall taste the treasure of the Ambrosial Nectar.

ਭੈ ਭੰਜਨ ਮਿਹਰਵਾਨ ਦਾਸ ਕੀ ਰਾਖੀਐ ॥

The Lord is the Merciful Destroyer of fear; He preserves and protects His slaves.

ਨਾਨਕ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਇ ਅਲਖੁ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਲਾਖੀਐ ॥੨੦॥

O Nanak, sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord, and see the Unseen Lord God. ||20||

You will find solution to your problems.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[young khalsa]

PM me bro if you have a account and i have a friend who went through the same thing and i will try my best to help you.

[TigerStyleZ]

Paji,

now you have realized it thats really good! We are all humans - we all make mistakes - if we make one mistake that doesn´t mean that we are lost forever . You still have the desire to find god - and that is the highest aim someone can have ! This Aim will always remember you, when you do bad things !

Keep in mind an Amritdhari isn´t perfect- he just wants to go the way of god - and this is the way of human/truth.

The problem with "chicken", isn´t a real problem, we all eat for our tastes be it Sabji or not - but when we eat without the naam - we are lost , because then this is real pleasure, life is in everything - in water plants - animals -you - ANYTHING! But Kaam and Krodh are the real ones. Read through other posts i wrote - about Kaam and Krodh - you will find it here in Anonymous section

[SeekingTheLight]

As Bhaiji above said, we are all human. We are not perfect and Waheguru Ji is forgiving. If we all gave up because of a few silly mistakes then we wouldn't achieve nothing in life. It is good that you have noticed these mistakes and are willing to make a change. The first step to improving the errors is identifying they exist which you have.

I think Naam Simran and Gursikhi Sangat is important when you feeling your drifting astray. Talking from experience, just being in the presence of Gursikhs is enough. Just talking over the problems you face is useful. A lot of people say that Amrit is not a fullstop but rather a comma. Just because one has taken Amrit it does not mean they are of higher status. If one has taken Amrit yet does not stick to Rehat then are they really Amrit Dhari? No. Amrit is a step onto the path, it's what you do after that. So do not lose faith!

[TigerStyleZ]

The Amrit is within us all - thats what Guru jis trying us to tell . This is the REAL Amrit - they amrit you take shows just your commitment to the Khalsa. If you try to seek the light within you - one day you will realize. This one day , will come if you never give up to learn and fight - and that is the Khalsa Image -

"Khalsa mero roop hai khaas khalsa meh hi karo niwaas" First you need the inner Amrit - then you can show it to all!

But never forget to Seek the light!

Amrit Dhari are nothing special - nor they will be special ! They are like us all ! But someone who is slave of god (metaphor) is better than us!(metaphor)

Veerji, if you have problem with masturbating ( adult sites ) just image everytime you are doing it you are killing a life of a innocent baby - You just killing this defenseless baby with a blow in his stomatch and after that you are full of blood ( you know what I mean) This is a metaphor as well !

Just keep seeking the light ( :D ) and you will be blessed!

HOW TO GET RID of all this

Masturbation is not safe

It makes you weak. it can lead to both physical and physiological imbalances. Frequent masturbation and ejaculation stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions excessively, resulting in the over production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters such as acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin. Abundant and unusually amount of these hormones and neurotransmitters can cause the brain and adrenal glands to perform excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversion and turn the brain and body functions to be extremely sympathetic. In other words, there is a big change of body chemistry when one excessively pratices masturbation.

The side effects of such changes to the body include:

• Fatigue. Feeling tired all the time
  
• Lower back pain
  
• Stress / Anxiety
  
• Thinning hair / Hair Loss
  
• Soft / Weak Erection
  
• Premature Ejaculation
  
• Eye floaters or fuzzy vision
  
• Groin / Testicular Pain
  
• Peyronie's disease
  
• Pain or cramp in the pelvic cavity or/and tail bone
  

Self-Control Guidance for Masturbation

This is copied from some website and this is useful method and Sikhism encourage those things which help others so salute to that man who wrote the following suggestions:

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.

2. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

3. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress and then get out of the bathroom into a room where you will have some member of your family present.

4. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.

5. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, get out of bed and go into the kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you get your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

6. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.

7. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read Gurbani. You can read Japji Sahib, Suhmani Sahib, Anand Sahib, above anything else in the Guru Granth Sahib can be helpful because of the uplifting qualities.

8. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, but keep the problem out of your mind by not mentioning it ever -- not in conversation with others, not in your prayers. keep it out of your mind!

The attitude of a person toward his problem has an effect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.

Suggestions

1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out lout when the temptations are the strongest.

2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.

3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.

4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to _never again_ you will always be open to temptation.

5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.

6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.

7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.

11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eating several of them as you do the act.

12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.

13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.

14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.

15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.

16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.

17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.

18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.

19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.

20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.

21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Satan never gives up. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.

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1. Wisdom (gyan) : is the complete knowledge of a set of religious principles. It can be achieved by hearing good, thinking good and doing good. A man of wisdom tries to achieve a high moral standard in his life and interaction with others. According to Sikhism, the first steps to wisdom is to consider oneself as an ignorant person who has to learn a lot in life.

2. Truthful Living (sat) : This is more than 'truth'. It means living according to the way of God i.e. the thoughts should match the words that a person speaks and his actions should also match his words. Truthful living brings a person closer to God.

3. Justice (niaon) : means freedom and equal opportunities for all. Respect for the rights of others and strict absence of attempts to exploit a fellow being. Sikhism forbids the desire to loot another's property. It also strictly instructs the Sikhs to show respect even for the women and children of an enemy.

4. Temperance (santokh) : means self control which has to be developed through meditation and prayers. A Sikh has to banish evil thoughts from his mind by constantly repeating Gods name and reciting prayers. Torture to the body to develop self-control is not advocated in Sikhism

5. Patience (dhiraj) : implies a high level of tolerance and empathy for others. It requires control over ones ego and willingness to overlook another's weakness or mistakes. It requires that a Sikh should be strong willed, but kind hearted.

6. Courage (himmat) : means bravery i.e. absence of fear. It is the ability to stake ones life for ones convictions and for saving others from injustice or cruelty.

7. Humility (namarta) : is a deliberate denial of pleasure at one's own praise and admiration. It means underplaying ones own strengths and respecting the abilities of others. It is the antidote to 'ahankar'

8. Contentment (sabar) : means refraining from worldly fears and submitting oneself to the will of God. The typical worldly fears can be fear of death, poverty, disrespect and defeat. It is this virtue that has given the Sikhs the moral strength to withstand the various atrocities committed on their community in the last three centuries.

at gurus time, Guru gobind singh said abt sikhs -

ਜ੝ੱਧ ਜਿਤੇ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਸ੝ ਦਾਨ ਕਰੇ ॥

ਅਘ ਅਉਘ ਟਰੈ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕੇ ਪ੝ਰਸਾਦਿ ਇਨ ਹੀ ਕ੝ਰਿਪਾ ਫ੝ਨ ਧਾਮ ਭਰੇ ॥

जढ़ढ़ध जिते इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही के पढ़रसादि सढ़ दान करे ॥

अघ अउघ टरै इन ही के पढ़रसादि इन ही कढ़रिपा फढ़न धाम भरे ॥

By the kindness of these Sikhs, I have conquered the wars and

also by their kindness, I have bestowed charities;

by their kindness the clusters on sins have been destroyed and

by their kindness my house is full of wealth and materials;

What are you giving to gurus know blady kaam, krofh lobh moh & hankaar. How can u think that guru is with you. If you leave all this then guru says

o sahib main us daa chela

lets bid before god and ask sorry to him -

“O my Master. I am silly, save me, 0 my Lord-God!

Thy slave’s praise in thine own glory!” (AG, 166)

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Gurbani tells us that: When "the Name of the Lord dwells within the mind; egotism and anger are wiped away." (SGGS p33) The importance of simran - the constant remembrance of the Lord, the Creator - will wipe away the state of anger and the feeling of ego from the mind and bring peace and tranquillity.

Further, the Guru tels us that: "Lust and anger are brought under control, when the breath does not fly around, wandering restlessly." (SGGS 1395) - that by controlling our breath and the state of mind, these negative emotions be subdued.

If you get angry - you need to find a better way to deal with it. Maybe it is just a protective meachnism?

Remeber always - that Waheguru is within you try to make it a "Addat" a habit to repeat Gods name . It will everytime rember you if you do bad things - Further it will help you deal with your anger - because you will got remembered.

I had the same problem - It worked fine.

Some have to deal more with Kaam some more with anger -

How do you reduce anger

Various medically qualified experts also give us other physical ways to help us reduce the influence of these "evils of the mind":

Anger Management

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

Are You Too Angry?

There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.

Why Are Some People More Angry Than Others?

According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.

People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.

What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.

Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"

Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.

It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa , Waheguru ji ki Fateh.

If you need more help , or something is in your maan - don´t fear to PM me or any other members!

Never have doubt on God´s mercy!

[Guest Guest]

Thanks

It really work