Looking for a partner

[DalbirSingh]

rehansbahis are filled with adults the whole venue would be ideal for the whole system of adults watching over to make sure nothing goes wrong and we aren't muslims were we isolate and segregate the women and men with viels and burqas. I don't think there is anything wrong with a guy just saying hi or a girl just saying hi, we tend to do it all the time. It would be wrong if they start going hanky panky in the middle of the gurdwara

[Consciousness]

rehansbahis are filled with adults the whole venue would be ideal for the whole system of adults watching over to make sure nothing goes wrong and we aren't muslims were we isolate and segregate the women and men with viels and burqas. I don't think there is anything wrong with a guy just saying hi or a girl just saying hi, we tend to do it all the time. It would be wrong if they start going hanky panky in the middle of the gurdwara

Veer ji I wish what you wrote was true but I've seen from experience where singhs/singhnees have become boyfriend and girlfriend (and you know where this lead to) from meeting from a rehansabhai. Then the penji starts saying paji, paji, paji (really they are bf and gf); then they start doing personal amrit vela together. Then this leads to further mingling, which leads to you know what.

^BTW what I wrote above is actually a real life example and not just an analogy.

[VanHelsingh]

Veer ji I wish what you wrote was true but I've seen from experience where singhs/singhnees have become boyfriend and girlfriend (and you know where this lead to) from meeting from a rehansabhai. Then the penji starts saying paji, paji, paji (really they are bf and gf); then they start doing personal amrit vela together. Then this leads to further mingling, which leads to you know what.

^BTW what I wrote above is actually a real life example and not just an analogy.

"Veer Ji" is another term I've heard used liberally between two people who clearly are NOT brother and sister, but are playing up to the image of an innocuous "brother / sister" relationship in public. Idiots.

[Guest original poster]

I'm in the same position as you bruv. It's difficult but Maharaaj has looked after you your entire life so just keep bharosa that whatever They are doing is for the best.

People are going to say to you..oh you're only 22, don't worry yet..you've got plenty of time..but to be honest it's not easy finding a decent partner nowadays so it's good to start looking early..it's going to take at the very least a year and by the time everythings sorted and you actually get married, you could be 24/25.

With regards to finding someone when your family doesn't know anyone..again, I'm in the same position and it's frustrating. But don't exclude asking people just because they're not amritdhari..I'm sure your relatives will want to help and there's always someone who knows someone else. 6 degrees of separation and all that! Amritdharis don't exclusively mix with amritdharis so get your parents to talk to everyone. There might be a bibi in the exact same position as you who only knows non-amritdhari families. If you don't ask anyone and everyone, you're not going to get very far.

Also, if you have any younger sangat or if you know any gursikhs couples young or old, mention it to them. I'm sure if you have some sangat they will want to help you..to be fair, a lot of people have stopped making suggestions nowadays because if things don't work out it always goes back to the bichola..but just try and hopefully they will help you.

Another thing I would say is don't waste time being embarrassed or feeling uncomfortable about the situation. You have to be really pro-active and just keep looking and use whatever channels are available to you. Tell your relatives, speak to Gursikhs in your area..if they don't seem like they want to help, give them a friendly nudge now and again or get your parents to mention it.

You also mentioned that there are many young couples that are getting married..yes there are, everyone seems to be getting married recently. But don't let this put any pressure on you or influence how you feel. If you personally feel ready to get married then fine. But if it's because you feel its something that you should be doing because everyone else is then that's not really right. Marriage is bloody hard work so if you want to get into it fairly soon, make sure it's for the right reasons.

It feels embarrassing sometimes, as though you're just clutching at straws and not getting anywhere, but keep trying and whatever is meant to happen will happen. Don't worry about it but don't sit around thinking it will just come to you.

Hope there was something remotely useful in all of that. If anyone has any better suggests I'd love to hear them because like I said, I'm in the same position atm.

Waheguru.

Thank you so much veerjee, this post has helped me alot. Its great to know that there are others in my position. And you are totally right, Its not a quick process. I will ask around, although I doubt any of my family (cousins, uncles etc) will know any amritdhaaris as they are really not into sikhi. Main thing is to have Bharosa in Guroo Sahib.

Thank you once again jee and good luck to you!

[Consciousness]

"Veer Ji" is another term I've heard used liberally between two people who clearly are NOT brother and sister, but are playing up to the image of an innocuous "brother / sister" relationship in public. Idiots.

True say it's the same people who also say the worlds affected by kaljug "please waheguru safe me from kaljug" lol when they themselves are doing just that. Hypocrites.

[Guest nav]

If we have organizations in all gurdhwaras which should be doing free matrimonial service which will benefit sikh community

[GuptKaurUK]

There is also gurmat.com which provides a free service. I believe a few people use Sikh matrimonals. Once family and relatives, neighbours are aware, they can ask around, even if they are not amritdhari themselves... they may work with someone, be related to someone etc.