showing affection

[N30S1NGH]

Great post Raj Karega Khalsa Ji,

I just wanted to add further on your point below:

To be fairly honest...the questions the OP has asked are quite legitimate to an extent. Me and my Singh have been discussing about the theories about preservation of s*xual energy for spiritual progress. Baba Waryam Singh ji mentions about it in his Katha as well. Yoga suggests it too.

Human body is full of energy points in different chakras. In marriage, if both couples have mutual understanding and have some desire to progress in spiritual sikhi, one does not need to do bhog to sustain there relationship. It's quite possible to channel one's sexual energy push it upwards towards trikurti chakra where one can utilize this energy towards naam simran and there is jog like sanjam kriya to help with this too. I think the key here, mutual understanding between couples and if both agree and very serious on the path of spirituality, they can easily give up bhog by channeling sexual chakra upwards so it could be utilize else where naam simran..at the end of day to put in contrast- anand one gets from bhog is small drop of anand compare to bhagti/naam ras anand which is huge sea of anand compare to bhramgyan which is endless ocean of anand..who wants to get or dwell around drop of anand where one has potential to get ocean of anand..!!!!!!!!!!

[Raaj.Karega.Khalsa]

..who wants to get or dwell around drop of anand where one has potential to get ocean of anand..!!!!!!!!!!

That's the whole point...isn't it?

[Guest newly wed]

Thanks for posting all. Thanks bhenji Raaj Karaega Kphalsa- i understand what Dasmesh Pita are saying, what i find difficult to understand is the EXTENT of my physical relation with my other half before 'family planning'. I want to show my affection but i dont want to fall into kaam - i basically want to be a loving spouse but keep in Gurmat and not stain my own or my wife's mind, mat, jeevan or ehvasta.. I want to be loving but not obsessive, 'dirty' minded or have kaamic actions. Whats the extent of showing affection? Hugs? Kisses to cheek? Sorry to be so exclusive, but i really want to maintain my rehat, WHILST keeping a gristi jeevan.

[Guest someone]

Thanks for posting all. Thanks bhenji Raaj Karaega Kphalsa- i understand what Dasmesh Pita are saying, what i find difficult to understand is the EXTENT of my physical relation with my other half before 'family planning'. I want to show my affection but i dont want to fall into kaam - i basically want to be a loving spouse but keep in Gurmat and not stain my own or my wife's mind, mat, jeevan or ehvasta.. I want to be loving but not obsessive, 'dirty' minded or have kaamic actions. Whats the extent of showing affection? Hugs? Kisses to cheek? Sorry to be so exclusive, but i really want to maintain my rehat, WHILST keeping a gristi jeevan.

Bhaji, do ardas infront of Guru Saheb guide you. Follow your instinct and intuition...but don't forget to respect your singhni's views on the issue.

[Raaj.Karega.Khalsa]

Bhai Saheb, only you both can decide what your attitude for showing affection towards each other is supposed to be like.

Being intimate or showing affection isn't planned. They're just emotions. And they're purely instinctive!

Nobody tells a baby to cling onto the mother for love or protection. S/he just knows! It's all instinctive!

Let me give a little example.

When my baby was about a month old, the health visitor had come for a check-up. She held him in one hand...and asked me to get him to hold onto my fingers with his hands. She dropped him a little, and caught him with the other hand. As soon as my baby was dropped a bit, he clutched tightly onto my fingers that he had held.

It was all done to check some survival instinct. But it was absolutely astounding that a month old baby KNEW to do that!

[Guest aao_pyaar_karein]

Whats the extent of showing affection? Hugs? Kisses to cheek?

No, just blush and hold hands :D

[gurdssingh]

Sorry don't know about Taksali's.

But my understanding is by talking to some, is the following true?

• you can only do it if you want a child.
  
• Do it once and wait to get a preganent. A testing kit will let you know if yes then BINGO.
  
• If not do it once more.
  
• If you only want 2 or 3 kids you should do it 2 or 3 times, in your whole life.
  
• After you have the desired number of kids stop IT.
  
• YOU SHOULD NEVER SHOW EFFECTION! NO need to touch or hold hands.
  
• If you don't concieve then keep trying but YO! is it KAAM?
  

Is this true (I think they are lying), or are manmukhs like me who think it's a natural human urge/need just like breathing, drinking, eating, going loo etc. WRONG. As I bet many couples have done 'it' mpre times than the number of kids they want.

BTW I have 2 kids, but have done 'it' more than 2 times.

Seriousley whats wrong with showing youe wife effection or giving in to to human nature?

[Gurpreet14]

Just Hug ur better half... and if u are in true luv with her/him.. u will not get dirty,.... inspite you will realize the true strength of luv...!!

If u respect ur spouse.... u actually... cant get dirty... itz all about the feeling of ur heart which should be true if u are really in love....!!

Affection's Action cant be stopped... Wether they are ture of false..!!

[luckysingh99]

Best just to hold hands and then have dinner in candlelight followed by a movie.

If you don't feel it's kaam at any stage, then proceed and carry on. If not, then stop and think.

The idea is to learn about each other as much as you can before getting intimate. Then you should just let it flow.

I would say get to know each other over the space of a couple of months at least,before going all the way.