Dont Know What To Do?

[Guest motto]

Well I grew my hair for 17 years.. and I feel like cutting it.
I grew it long because of my mum and dad and cos they don't want me doing fashion or anything ..
my dad cuts his hair, my mum grew her hair but because of age its not as long as mine.

I cant paint my nails, do makeup, wear dresses/skirts.


when I was young I could but as I grew up.. in yr6 things changed. I don't care about dresses or skirts or makeup.

I feel like cutting my hair as its too long and cos im not religious im confused.
my siblings had long hair but my bro and sis cut theres cos my bro couldn't handle his so my dad and mum allowed it and my sis cut it on the sly although she got told off.
I feel like doing a fringe and cutting it back length..cos its longgggggggg like dragging. I cant do fashion hairstyles either. :Lol. I cant ask cos im scared. -.-aha



what do you think?? I feel like painting my nails but like light colours not to daring as my mum and dad always have sed.. ur single so u shouldn't do much as people would look and blah blah.. I will be getting an arranged marriage.

btw if u love someone..and they love u but there an diff caste how do u go on about it.. like I said arranged.

[Guest Guest]

I think you have a wrong notion about what guys look for in a mate.

Personally painted nails make me want to puke.

Trust me, skirts, dresses & make up attract only <banned word filter activated> heads.

Marriage is a long term commitment, it's foolish to choose a spouse just based on looks.

Let your parents select a few guys & then say yes to the one you like.

Forget about inter caste marriage and guys do find long hair attractive.

[kullykhalsa 124]

the depressing state of todays youth

[MKaur89 108]

the depressing state of todays youth

True, but I think a lot of it is to do with the constant pressure women feel to 'look good'. It comes from all angles- billboards, magazines, newspapers etc and sometimes even your own family.

To the OP, I think a lot of girls, myself included, go through phases like this when you are fighting an internal battle and you wish to reject natural beauty and instead want to indulge in hair removal, make-up etc. even though you are fully aware that this goes against the ideals of Sikhi.

The only thing I can say is, the more Gurbani you read, the more you listen to and the more you make an effort to understand, the less your mind will feel like cutting your hair/wearing make-up/painting your nails/wearing fancy clothes. If you incorporate more simran, nitnem, sangat and seva into your daily routine, then you won't even struggle to give up these things, instead your mind will turn off from these things itself.

Also, it's a shame that some Panjabi families are still crippled by double standards- mum and dad and sisters are allowed to cut their hair etc. but there'll always be that one token son with the long hair and patka. Parents are the children's first teachers and best role models, if your parents adopted Sikhi themselves and were in Sikhi saroop and were keshdari then maybe you would feel more confident in rejecting what society perceives the true beauty of a woman to be. If you delve into Gurbani and truly try to live your life by its teachings and ideals, that will give you far more pleasure than a fashionable hairstyle or painted nails ever can.

[SeekingTheLight 58]

As a young women I also see the pressure to conform to the strong stereotypical image portrayed by the media for women to appear more feminine through the use of make up, other cosmetics etc.. But you should rise above this. If your family cut their hair so be it but think about your own jeevan. Look into the value behind keeping your kesh. I also have been brought up not being allowed to wear make up and all the other things above but yet am very grateful for my parents doing this. Hiding behind make up is a front. You should be happy within your self.. Appearance is a deceiving trait.

Just think if you were allowed to wear skirts, wear make up etc.. Do you think it would attract the right attention?

Your parents say and do things to protect you. Although you may not see this in this precise moment in time, it will benefit you in the long run.

[sat 542]

Personally i think long haired women are more attractive (i mean this in respectful way), it also shows more femininity and self respect,

You parents want the best for you and it may seem they are being harsh today, but one day you may understand when you are a mother yourself.

Dont follow the crowd, follow Guru ji, SGGS JI.

Be a leader not a follower (except of the Guru).