Advice Needed

[Guest Gupt]

Hello im from leicester. My sister is getting married in over 1 years time to a person of different caste.The wedding date is nearly booked . Now my sister spends all her weekends with her husband to be. This would not be a problem if it was at sociable hours however she ends up going early in morning at coming back at nearly 12 at night. I have tried explaining this is not right before marriage but she wont listen. Not only this but when she comes back she is often very unsociable within the house, she will go straight to say the lounge or her bedroom where no one else is and doesnt want to talk. She secludes her self from us after meeting him. However i want to spend time with her and she doesn't. How can i explain how i feel and make her understand? She is not even engaged as the wedding is ages away. The more i try to make her understand the worse it gets

[Guest Your brother]

Dear Brother,

It is general problem. However, it suggested that to tell your sister that if she does not care or sincere with you then you will cancel her marriage and relation between brother and sister will also be finished and on the other hand you should to pray to the supreme power which is God for her best wishes.

[Guest Detach]

Gurbani says household attachment is the darkest hell, ie. attachment to family. Your sister is probably in love and has felt the freedom from the household attachment by being with her lover.

Why not take this as a blessing for your sister and instead of wanting to spend time with her, use this opportunity of not hanging out with her to do bhagti and get closer with god instead.

Even if she is rude to you, take this as a lesson to detach, to let her live her own life beyond your family. Even gurbani says that the bride does not stay at home forever, don't be resentful, just let her go- detach because attachment is one of the 5 thieves.

I am a girl and live in a family that is really attached to me- the attachment also manifests itself as jealousy and the boys in my family try to put me down, to lower my self esteem so that I never get married. But I feel their jealousy and insecurities about themselves which they are trying to project into me, and understand their ill intentions-thanks to gurbani-and am able to detach from their crap. Family attachment truly can be the deepest hell and I have experienced it first hand.

[GKaur1315]

Personally, i'd speak to her and tell her that you love her and want to spend time with her before she leaves home.

Its best to have this conversation even if it will get emotional.

[Guest w@r]

Getting so much close before marriage is not good .tomorrow circumstances may change and she would be really heart broken if this going to happen .tell her yourself or through family members not to meet her fiance before marriage .if they want to stay in contact .they can through phone .limit all this weekend spending before marriage .its not about western yoyo tradition , it is about what sounds right .you can also talk with fiance in light way to not spend so much time together before marriage .you have rights to speak to her .its the duty of family to care for each other and show they right way.

Wjkk wjkf

[sat]

Gurbani says household attachment is the darkest hell, ie. attachment to family. Your sister is probably in love and has felt the freedom from the household attachment by being with her lover.

Why not take this as a blessing for your sister and instead of wanting to spend time with her, use this opportunity of not hanging out with her to do bhagti and get closer with god instead.

Even if she is rude to you, take this as a lesson to detach, to let her live her own life beyond your family. Even gurbani says that the bride does not stay at home forever, don't be resentful, just let her go- detach because attachment is one of the 5 thieves.

I am a girl and live in a family that is really attached to me- the attachment also manifests itself as jealousy and the boys in my family try to put me down, to lower my self esteem so that I never get married. But I feel their jealousy and insecurities about themselves which they are trying to project into me, and understand their ill intentions-thanks to gurbani-and am able to detach from their crap. Family attachment truly can be the deepest hell and I have experienced it first hand.

What a load of tosh, so according to you she has detached from her family hence her behaviour, but she has only detached from one thing and attached to another, i thing Gurbani tells us to attach to the supreme vaheguru ji, whilst being in the midst of maya not substitute your family for another person, but be with all of them.

I am not surprised you being a girl agree with this persons behaviour and when she falls flat on her face who picks up the pieces the poor family !!

Seems the dont need to be sold in bazzars of gujni now, they give it away free!! :no:

[Guest alone]

How do u know she is sleeping with her husband to be and not just getting to know him? We aee all entitled to be free, Gurbani also says that the girl cannot live with her family forever, that she goes to her inlaws. we learn lessons from living in a family environment from youth,and when we grow older, its up to us if we go and experience life for oursleves, or remaon attached to lessons that we have already or should already have learned. Guru Nanak Dev Ji left his family for huge periods of time- it really is not unheard of. We come alone n we go alone.

[PP02]

TALK to your sister...communication is the key. Go to her..sit down..and SAY your concerns as they are. Don't feel "shy" or "hesitant" about anything. Just tell her what you think and where you are coming from. And tell her to tell your her side of the story too..like what she thinks etc...Brother and sister's relation should be like best friends..no hesitation..straight talk! But in our culture, we aren't suppose to be like that..

[sat]

How do u know she is sleeping with her husband to be and not just getting to know him? We aee all entitled to be free, Gurbani also says that the girl cannot live with her family forever, that she goes to her inlaws. we learn lessons from living in a family environment from youth,and when we grow older, its up to us if we go and experience life for oursleves, or remaon attached to lessons that we have already or should already have learned. Guru Nanak Dev Ji left his family for huge periods of time- it really is not unheard of. We come alone n we go alone.

Lol post are getting more and more ridiculous, a girl is coming and going to her maybe husbands place at all hours of the day and night and it is being compared to Dhan Guru Nanak ji leaving his family for the udasis, are you for real !!!!!