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Guest Pappi trying to beco

Ok, I Did It - I Got Free From Masturbation And Porn Addiction But... Need Help ( Seriously) .

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Guest Pappi trying to beco

first of all , this is NO joke thread or any topix like thread.

This is a serious.

Well I have to admit that I am a bad Sikh - I watched porn and was somehow addicted for more than 4 years now.. I know there is nothing to be proud of and I feel ashamed . But due to Maharaj I managed now to stay away from all these "lustful" things in this society. I hate this society - every where is sex - from little you are forced to see such things.. really . I guess if there werent such things - I would never fall into this "addiction" . Anyway.... Now I am clean for about 1Month - and trust me it was REALLY hard. I did everything to avoid lustful thoughts and things and seeing woman in wrong way ( its hard cause most of them even attract us guys with short pants etc.. but thats not the topic) Well now I must say I feel very strong and clean - I keep saying myself "Mann jithe jagg Jeet" and it works - but I start to notice "physical problems" , like my intestinal making trouble and my testicles are feel "heavy" , like they are full or smth - there is such a pressure and I have cramps.. I dont know why! I didnt touched myself since 1 month , why all of this is happening now??!? I thought I have overcome that shitty Kaam... and I thought i can control it ( I know i cant kill it , because its a part of human being - but I want to control it)

The Problem why I am posting this here as gupt is - that I dont want to go to a doctor.

The reasons:

1. I feel ashamed of me

2. Maybe there is a woman dr. and it all will go worse - I dont want that - I still not feel that i conquer that. the battle goes on you know..

3. I would NEVER tell my parents even if I die ( punjabi ... you know)

I try to handle it myself .. have you guys ANY tips? I googled alot and searched the internet but there is nothing ABOUT abstinence only about SEX.. people are mad ... they say you have to "realease " the pressure etc- but I dont want to! This is a fight between me and my Paapi mann - I am trying to get the control over FULLY.

So can you guys please help me? Or any dr.. here? Thank you..

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Guest Paapi trying to beco

First of all - please dont comment if you didnt read the entire post.. I said its a serious question - there is nothing to make fun of. And I have cramps - thats why I asked for advise or any tips. I know I cant kill Kaam - thats why I am not doing this anymore. Furthermore I feel very good healthier etc..

But there are just these " side effects" which appeared from nowhere..

I dont think Guru jis did smth. like that - please dont say this. they were full control over their bodies..

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Wjkk wjkf

I am not sure if this is a genuine post or its just to make fun... but I will give a little insight...

Masturabating is a natural thing for men, but we should not over do it because sikhi warns us against kaami thoughts and actions. Its very admirable that u are trying so hard to abstain from this but how long do you think you can go on with this? Obviously god has a reason why men have this urge or desire. Reduce and control ur kaami thoughts and actions but remember a certain amount of kaam is needed in this world to reproduce. Sikhi doesn't see sex after marriage as a sin and no Guru ever commented on Masturabating....the real issue is controlling kaam...and conquering ur mind. Just dont make it priority over other things like japping naam and doing good deeds.

Bhul chuk maaf

Worst advice anyone can give on this topic. The act of pleasuring yourself involves mental images or a reality of something. If you are heterosexual than that something is a woman that your believe is appealing. Which is lust for a woman. The stick don't stand up just because it wants you to look stupid in public or for pizza. The eyes saw an attractive women (lustful thoughts) and your mind activated your stick. Next comes self gratification. There is no holiness in this action. Stop lying to yourself.

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Topic starter:

You cannot control kaam. All you have done is fight kaam for a month. Others fight kaam for years and ages, but everyone loses at the end. Your body has taken the toll by fighting with kaam as you describe in your post. Yogis, Sadhu, Devis, Devta, etc all tried to control kaam through various methods, but in the end they all got defeated by it.

I did everything to avoid lustful thoughts and things and seeing woman in wrong way ( its hard cause most of them even attract us guys with short pants etc.. but thats not the topic

Okay so you saw a woman's legs in short pants, which means you still found it attractive, but avoided the thought to the best of your ability. Do you think there is a different way to look at the same woman without even mentioning anything about her attributes or characteristics? What is the body made of? What if the skin was clear as a window and all you could see is the internal organs of a person? Gurbani tells us the body is dust. The body is made from dust and it goes back to dust. Can you see yourself finding the dust on the ground attractive?

On www.Gursevak.com, Bhagat Jaswant Singh ji has given various ways to go deeper into ourselves using Gurbani and find humility, compassion, and contentment to continue your duties of reading Gurbani, seva, and making an honest religious living. You might want to explore that site and see how it can help you. One thing i remember from there that has made a big impact in my life is when Bhagat Jaswant Singh ji ask us to remember the shaheedi of Sri Guru Arjun Dev ji when ever kaam, krodh, lobh, moh, or ankhar come in our mind intensely. Bhagat ji says in brief, now Sri Guru Arjun Dev ji is getting up to sit on the hot burning plate. Now the 5th Master is sitting on the hot burning plate. Sitting on the hot burning plate they are now starting to pour hot burning stand on the 5th masters body. Create a mental image of the 5th master sitting on the hot plate. I remember this from Bhagat ji repeating it and I feel a complete calmness come over my mind and body. I tried looking for the exact wording Bhagat ji uses, but coud not find it. Give it a try and see if it works for you.

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Don't watch any entertainment which may b result in increase kaami thoughts

Keep your food simple

Try to hold back your mind

Taking control starts from simple little things

Slowly you will gain control of your mind

Don't watch movies tv etc

Don't listen to stupid songs

Keep yourself occupied with gurbani kirtan n katha

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Just to add to what the two posts above from Jaspreet1 and savinderpalsingh which address pretty all of your "kaam problems", I'd book an appointment with doctor for your medical concerns. Its not unusual to specifically ask to see a male doctor either.

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Guest Doc Singh

Hi, I have some medical training. I can advise you a bit.

If you are feeling pain, it is probably due to fluid accumulation in the vas deferens and prostate. The street term is "blue balls". You were probably aroused, but did not allow yourself to ejaculate. This caused fluid to be released into your pipes, but you didn't fire. The fluid is still there and is causing pain. The only way to relieve the pain is to clear the pipes by ejaculating. Don't feel too bad, you can start your abstinence again afterward.

Sometimes we can become aroused in our dreams, especially if one is abstinent for a long time. Sometimes we ejaculate in the dreams, while other times we come close, but wake up before ejaculating. In the latter case, you will have pain from the "blue balls".

It is best to not beat yourself up over it, or become mentally depressed because you couldn't achieve the goal you wanted. Do what makes you happy, and remember that nobody is perfect.

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Guest Paapi trying to beco

Thank you for all your Posts! Really helped me alot , especially the on from "Doc Singh" and above - I didnt really knew that such things exist - but now I do.

Anyway I visted the doctor yesterday - and my doc told me that I have some tesiticular torision... anyways - thank you-

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You probably need to find a wife. Then you can fulfil your desire for real, but only in moderation. You can also concentrate on your sikhi with your wife. Thereby fulfilling Gristhi jeevan.

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No,No,no........... you DON"T go and get married to a wife to fulfill your desire ! :nono:

Far too many girls lives have been ruined by lust-thirsty apney.

The only one thing i can say to paapi dude is, go try and meditate to help find your real-self.

Your mind and hands are taking control and making you think they know what the best satisfaction is for you !!- You have to rise above this only if you can become AWARE of your real self.

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Guest KhalsaSister

I know this was posted about a month ago but I'm still going to reply. And i'm going to be honest here, its one your sisters speaking. I do not agree with some of what Doc-Singh said. Just because you've got the blue balls because you got aroused and didn't "do anything" doesn't mean that you should to ease your discomfort. And I really hope you didn't. That was bad advice from the Doc. When we fall back into Masturbating with the mind set that "this is the last time" then i'll stop, Its not gonna work like that. You need to get to the problem of why you were in the first place. Take note of what internal thoughts and distress you were having if you do end up giving in. Recognize the underlying issue whether of feeling lonely, neglected, unloved.. etc. Then you need to do an ardaas to Guru Sahib. Ardaas is key here. Keep doing ardaas, and don't stop even if you think its not being heard because it is. The teacher is always silent during a test. And I realize I have gone a little off topic. The pain is going to be there when you're stopping. This bit be some TMI, but I've struggled with kaam too, and I felt pain around in my ovary areas. Its because the sexual energy is used too much and its causing us physical pain. You can change your sexual energy into something different like for exercising, painting etc. Once your abstinence increases the pain will go away because if you stay away from kami thoughts and actions, then you shouldn't be getting aroused. Jap naam, as much as you can and through the day. don't listen the radio and instead turn on some Kirtan. Try always having Kirtan playing in your house and especially in your room. The more and more you do simran, the less these kami thoughts will occur. You won't get over kaam without ardaas to Guru Sahib. just remember naam, naam. naam. Trying saying it outloud because if its just in our heads, we are more inclined to let our thoughts wonder. And I agree with Luckysingh99. Best of luck Brother!

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Guest paapi trying to beco

WJKK WJKF,

well, I didnt "realease" anything - my main intention was to stop masturbating - thats why I asked - I knew that people here would comment "its ok" and stuff - because they are themselfs struggling - But I did it - it was very hard - i wont lie. But I had the will - and guru jis Kirpa - I didnt do any ardaaas - because it wouldnt help in any way - why would Guru ji help me for such an tiny and unreasonable problem - furthermore it was all up to me - I only do Ardaas for Sarbat da bhalla not for myself. You just have to be a "man" and control yourself. And yes I can say everything bettered - the first 1 month was really difficult to master - but it worked out with discipline - i knew i had to do it on my own and i knew that none could/would help me.

I think I have control over it now - every day is a battle but now my shield and speer has the same scope /length like the on of my sparring partner ( Kaam). I keep battling with him.

BTW: BritishSingh - your advice wasnt good.. really .. really? I should find a wive thats your solution? Dude.. learn about Sikhi please - why should I marry someone ? Only to satisfy my sexual desires? Thats abuse..

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WJKK WJKF,

well, I didnt "realease" anything - my main intention was to stop masturbating - thats why I asked - I knew that people here would comment "its ok" and stuff - because they are themselfs struggling - But I did it - it was very hard - i wont lie. But I had the will - and guru jis Kirpa - I didnt do any ardaaas - because it wouldnt help in any way - why would Guru ji help me for such an tiny and unreasonable problem - furthermore it was all up to me - I only do Ardaas for Sarbat da bhalla not for myself. You just have to be a "man" and control yourself. And yes I can say everything bettered - the first 1 month was really difficult to master - but it worked out with discipline - i knew i had to do it on my own and i knew that none could/would help me.

I think I have control over it now - every day is a battle but now my shield and speer has the same scope /length like the on of my sparring partner ( Kaam). I keep battling with him.

BTW: BritishSingh - your advice wasnt good.. really .. really? I should find a wive thats your solution? Dude.. learn about Sikhi please - why should I marry someone ? Only to satisfy my sexual desires? Thats abuse..

My point was that if you do have any sexual desires it is best in the confines of a marriage. Eg I am amritdhari so is my wife we both love each other very much. We both do simran and path together, anything sexual I/we want to do we do together as a couple. We have never had any sexual relations with anyone else only with each other as husband and wife. This is part of gristhi jeevan. We are human we do have desires but we cannot let these desires control our lives. This is where gristhi jeevan comes in (desire in moderation). Sikhi marriage puts naam simran and gurbani at the centre of married life. All other desires and wishes come second. Guru comes first. I don't know what more to write to explain what I meant. So I hope this helps. I am glad you have overcome your problems. May WAHEGURU bless you with naam.

Bhul chuk maaf.

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