Self Control

[Guest Guest]

Hello,

I need some help and guidance on how to control my urges. I know it's a disgusting habit and is lustful but I keep thinking about it. I've tried a few things including paat and simran but it hasnt worked so far.

Do you have anything I could try to keep my mind clear of these thoughts and urges?

Admin Note: Edited

[ASKhalsa1]

I used to have a similar problem myself, just before I really got into Sikhi. My Daadiji was actually the one who resolved it for me. She discovered certain explicit material underneath my bed, and in an attempt to counter it, she covered the walls of my bedroom with pictures of the Guru Sahibaan and portraits of my dead great grandmother (the latter is really cringe worthy and slightly deranged, I know). Nothing is a bigger turn off for lustful urges than images of a deceased old woman staring down at you from every direction, you see.

However, it worked.

I'd advise you do something along these lines and decorate your room with pictures of the Guru Sahibaan or passages of Bani. You'll find that lustful impulses don't possess as much power in an environment which is conducive to Bhagti and Naam Simran.

[N30S1NGH]

Five vices thoughts are quite sticky in other words- high calibre thoughts which invokes action/reaction very quickly, thoughts in general be it 5 vices or not- you cannot totally get rid of it over tonight, not until you reach certain high spiritual stage-parkosh gyani stage/ naam liv stage- unbroken current of shabad.

However, what you can do is to help your current situation significantly, here are some of the tips

1) always engage in seva

2) never let your mind sit unguarded always do vichar inside- start inquiry who am i? what i m doing here? source of mind, source of my existence, whats the nature of truth, whats the nature of reality etc etc- Sri Guru Gobind Singh ji gurbani question riddles to his sikhs are great way to start to be fully engage in vichar and great way to start to help you keeping your mind with bibek always busy- http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/76477-akaal-ustat-beautiful-questions-riddles/

3) Gurbani contemplation

4) you can also try some breathing exercise with gurbani mantra- vahiguru - inhale-vahi, exhale-guru whenever bad thought arises as mind is totally connected with breath and vice versa, breathing will pull your mind inwards, taking you away from those thoughts.

This will help you loosen your fixation on sticky thoughts, loosen power grip of sticky thoughts on you as now they are loosen into more liquid flow where you can witness your thoughts flowing- appearing and disappearing on their own accord..you will naturally feel that you are not fixated on to sticking thoughts anymore or they are not right infront of you-invoking quite action from our part.

Enjoy, it requires an effort, honesty, integrity, earnestness on your part you will definitely be able to self control given the fact you are honest with yourself .

[Guest Sat]

First of all, have some Respect for other human beings. Treat all women except your spouse as Mother, Sisters,daughters etc. Treat all men as Uncles, brothers, sons etc.

U don't lust after your sister or mother so don't lust after a woman who isn't your spouse. It may sound harsh, but we are all Gods kids, God resides in every single heart, so respect His children and don't send them negative lust energy.

I've personally had this energy thrown at me badly and for someone with esp, it can be almost traumatic.

Have respect for God and His creation.

[paramnamsingh]

what i had found helpful is to stop reacting to the thoughts and urges. allow it to come up, feel it, dont react, from there do some simran, exercise, both maybe. you cannot push desires away otherwise like water being blocked, it will find another way out, most liekly a very perverted way. feel the desire, do some naam japna and elevate this desire, see it for what it is, be present to what it is without pushing it away. liberate the desire thorugh the name of god.
please odnt feel bad about this, this is a human thing, deisres arent bad, elevate the desire by meditating without wanting it to change, the gurumantar will change it for you, our minds are limited how can we use our mind to change our own thoughts to what we think they should be?allow the guru to change it into what he wants.
i know you said you did simran im saying to still do it because maybe you were doing it while wanted to avoid this desire, maybe you werent.
i hope this helps, it has helped me tremendously. also dont look at porn and stuff like that, its hard at first (before i was blessed with this path i watched porn a lot) but it gets easy, doesnt even cross my mind anymore.
of course ardaas is important too...
may guru sahib bless you will the strength and control to elevate your desires to their highest potential
wjkk wjkf

[S4NGH]

I used to have a similar problem myself, just before I really got into Sikhi. My Daadiji was actually the one who resolved it for me. She discovered certain explicit material underneath my bed, and in an attempt to counter it, she covered the walls of my bedroom with pictures of the Guru Sahibaan and portraits of my dead great grandmother (the latter is really cringe worthy and slightly deranged, I know). Nothing is a bigger turn off for lustful urges than images of a deceased old woman staring down at you from every direction, you see.

However, it worked.

I'd advise you do something along these lines and decorate your room with pictures of the Guru Sahibaan or passages of Bani. You'll find that lustful impulses don't possess as much power in an environment which is conducive to Bhagti and Naam Simran.

Daaayyum!! That mustve been awkward

[ASKhalsa1]

Daaayyum!! That mustve been awkward

Lol, you couldn't even comprehend how right you are.

She calls me downstairs and out of a kitchen drawer she extracts my dirty little secret and holds it up in front of her, saying nothing for the best part of 10 seconds.

I may have cried.