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I Need The Sangat's Opinions

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Guest Singhastic

WJKK WJKF,

I would like to ask the sangat a few questions about practices my parents try to enforce upon me and my siblings and encourage us to follow them as much as possible and I would like to see where the sangat stands on these issues. I've listed them below:

1. My father in particular says that we must not eat from others as when we do, they take away at least 25 Sukhmani Sahib worth of our pun from all the paath that we do. And that people at our local gurudwara sometimes come with degh which gets mixed into the degh, the gurudwara singhs make and that to take as little as possible. He says that we must take degh but these people will take away all the effort we put into pursuing a true sikhi jeevan by taking away the fal of the paat. But then he always encourages us to do as much sewa as possible and has me deliver food to the gurudwara for "fal". Isn't this being hypocritical and others would be eating from that as well? I don't understand this. He also says that at the nagar kirtans to avoid eating from anyone and same for any dharmic parades we hold. I find this nonsense personally but I'd like to hear your point of view. I feel we should never have to worry about such a thing when going to the Gurudwara or while being in the Guru's presence and being in bliss from all the kirtan and sangat around us. Isn't that what vand ke shako means..to share with all and to rejoice in the Lords name in sangat ? Then why do we have to worry about such petty things like watching who we eat from if we trust them and this bank system of maintaining all the path that we do. It reminds me of calorie counting. Sure it's great for reaching the goal you may have in mind but it can drive you crazy. This goes so far as when we even visit a family friend's house, he repeatedly says no to eating anything but when anyone visits ours, its him trying to convince them to have as much as possible and that it's their house too.

2. Washing your hair at night, combing your hair at night, purchasing iron or steel on saturdays, cutting your nails at night, vacuuming and using a broom to clean in the evening times - I find this all nonsense that might have carried over from Hinduism at some point but my parents tell me "Sikhi vich siraf mannan di jaga hai" which i don't agree with at all. I feel i should be able to question everything and not blindly follow and the Guru will provide me with the answers as He seems fit. But they get very very defensive over all this and I feel its corrupting their perspective on what sikhi truly is. Nails are dead cells..they should be able to be cut at any time of day. As for washing the hair, in Sikhi, is all hair not equal? What difference is there between the hair on our head and the hair on our arms and legs? Should we not wash those as well at night then? I don't understand the logic here. Additionally, regarding the broom, my dad always says a Mahapurash he follows in his pind once warned a woman not to use a jharoo at night and thats why he follows it. Maybe the Mahapursh had another meaning in mind? Perhaps it was just for that particular situation? They do usually say things in indirect manners at times so perhaps thats the case here but das doesn't know.

3. Sikhi states all people are equal. Everyone was made from the same light(Aval Allah Noor Upada Kudrat Ke Sab Bande). We have Bhagat Kabir and Bhagat Farid Ji's bani as proof, the Golden temple's foundation being laid by a Muslim, and the langar system and much much more. However, my parents always act like Sikhi is superior in every way. I don't see it like this. I have friends from all religions and i truly from the bottom of my heart feel that every religion has the same potential to find God and they're just separate paths but if I didn't know any better, my parents would have me believing Hindus aren't good people for the 1984 bombing and Muslims for the Mughal rule and all. At times they say, alright not everyone is bad, but then they'll say don't wear green to the Gurudwara because it's on the Pakistani flag. I'm also forbidden from eating at the homes of any of my muslim friends even if the food is completely vegetarian.

There's so much more I could go on about but I'd have essays here. I don't mean to belittle or slander my parents in any way. I respect them and love them but I'm just tired of hearing lectures on these issues on a day to day basis where I'm beginning to get aggravated and they're not the type to listen either. My father has a habit of repeatedly lecturing you on the same topic over and over whenever he sees me and will call to check up on me whenever I go out anywhere on where I've eaten and such. He also has the typical punjabi anger issues and follows a rule of " Either listen to what I have to say or leave the house forever" so there's no room to really argue over anything and I end up pretty quiet and just listening while arguing within the confines of my head. I can't really pretend to practice these things for their sake without it affecting my own spirituality. What are your takes on this? I apologize if I have said or mentioned anything that may have offended anyone. Thank You.

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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I don't eating from others, would take any pun away. It ain't a sin, so if you was to eat at your friends house would your dad say that would take 25 Sukmani Sahib puns away?

You can wash your hair in the night, we should be combing our hair twice a day, I do it in the morning and in the night.

They clean Sri Harmandir Sahib at night.

These are Indian superstitions, don't get tangled in them. Sikhs dont believe in any of them.

Your right Everyones equal.

1984 wasn't Hindus against Sikhs, it was Sikhs against a corrupt Indian government, some Hindus helped Sikhs. I think the person giving milk, to the Chotte Sahibzade and Mata Ji was Hindu.

Guru Nanak Dev Ji, called Bhai Mardna Ji his brother, obviously Guru Ji would eat at his house.

Green think Guru Ji said not to wear it because it green was the Mugal colour and at that time that would cause unnecessary confusion.

I would ignore these superstitions, they have no place in Sikhi and not treating the human race as one (Like Guru Ji said). My parents are the same with superstitions, just got to convince them, or find some Katha on these topics and show them.

Just stick to what Guru Ji says, not your parents. Guru Ji, teachings are higher than anyones in this world.

Please forgive me If i said anything wrong or offensive.

Bole So Nihaal Sat Sri Akal

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VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

I was going to post a whole wall of text, but that went by the wayside (browser went back, I click forward and all text disappears. Nice).

Post your question/concern here:

http://gurmatbibek.com/forum/list.php?3

Why there: Some of the things you are referring to are practiced by these Sikhs. They may be able to answer your questions in a bit more detail.

It is very easy to dismiss it all away and be frustrated, but understand the some (not all) of the above you have posted above actually does have its roots in Sikhi. The whole washing hair and cutting nails at night doesn't seem to (unless you are helping to do Sukhasan seva at night - then having a full body ishnan before the seva has a reason)., but the food concerns you have do have reasons behind it. It is better to get the explanations from those who actually practice the discipline. You can use the responses provided here as a counterpoint to their responses.

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