Is It This Hard To Find A Gursikh Singhi?

[Guest Gupt_singh]

Vjkk vjkf,

So iam in my mid 20s. I am searching for a singhni to marry. I got a solid job.

But the more i look the more i am getting confused. Most matarimonial sites want to know your caste and other stuff.

These are issues which always beeing

brought up:

Caste?

Maryada?

Which jathebandi are you?

I get the qeustion to ask if the guys has a solid job etc. Thats normal, without a job you can not provide.

Am I the only one whos is confused about the caste qeustion coming from a amirtdhari?

Is it this hard to find a simple gursikh singhni?

[simran345 2,503]

Vjkk vjkf,

So iam in my mid 20s. I am searching for a singhni to marry. I got a solid job.

But the more i look the more i am getting confused. Most matarimonial sites want to know your caste and other stuff.

These are issues which always beeing

brought up:

Caste?

Maryada?

Which jathebandi are you?

I get the qeustion to ask if the guys has a solid job etc. Thats normal, without a job you can not provide.

Am I the only one whos is confused about the caste qeustion coming from a amirtdhari?

Is it this hard to find a simple gursikh singhni?

You are not the confused one, but they are.

In my opinion, caste has no place in Sikhi, and Amritdharis that use caste doesn't make sense. Why on earth state caste, once somebody becomes Amritdhari? There is no reason for it, so if they are not letting go of it, then there is something seriously wrong, from the whole reason of taking Amrit. Just say no caste, there must be others that don't state caste.

[singhbj singh 1,384]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Singh most of the girls you consider Singhni's are born n brought up in Amritdhari families. Their parents mindset is traditional & conservative so chances of girls getting to choose is very slim.

Jatha, caste & your family background is more important than your job & character.

My suggestion, either let your parents arrange a match or marry a Kaur by Choice not birth.

[Guest Xyz]

I always notice simran345 has replied to all posts, all answers r good nd motivation for OP

How u manage ur time to reply all posts?

God bless u

[MisterrSingh 4,746]

Jatha, caste & your family background is more important than your job & character.

Up until around 15 years ago when I was a kid, marriage according to Jatha wasn't even a thing. It didn't register at all.

Lmao, well done, we really are determined to stamp ourselves out of existence. Well, survival of the fittest and all that. If a race is determined to destroy itself, that can only be a good thing. Suicide is preferable to murder I suppose.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Vjkk vjkf,

So iam in my mid 20s. I am searching for a singhni to marry. I got a solid job.

But the more i look the more i am getting confused. Most matarimonial sites want to know your caste and other stuff.

These are issues which always beeing

brought up:

Caste?

Maryada?

Which jathebandi are you?

I get the qeustion to ask if the guys has a solid job etc. Thats normal, without a job you can not provide.

Am I the only one whos is confused about the caste qeustion coming from a amirtdhari?

Is it this hard to find a simple gursikh singhni?

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Many pakhandi-dharis, (people who aren't Anritdhari at heart), will still believe in caste because the people they go to believe in caste. Also if a Sikh matrimonial ask for your ask caste, they will also go to hell. Gurbani says this,

"ਰਵਿਦਾਸ ਸਮ ਦਲ ਸਮਝਾਵੈ ਕੋਊ ॥੩॥

रविदास सम दल समझावै कोऊ ॥३॥

Raviḏās sam ḏal samjẖāvai ko▫ū. ||3||

O Ravi Daas, one who understands that the Lord is equally in all, is very rare. ||" (Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji Ang 93), take this meaning and interpret it any way and it still tells you the same thing, GurSikhs are rare. While it is pakhand that "Gurmat" Matrimonials, (we both know they aren't and are more interested in filling their pockets with money if they'd even ask for caste), would ask for your caste, it is perfectly reasonable for people to ask for your Jathebandi. When Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji and Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji only made one Maryada this wouldn't be a problem, but now you got issues like Raagmala and meat, as well as some other important stuff, add that with Missionary giving Amrit without Gurmat and you get a perfectly good reason to ask someone what their Jatha is. Maryada is also something to watch out for, but less important than Jathebandi, as the basic Maryada is the same. So if you add everything I put together, (mostly the Gurbani), than yes a GurSikh Kaur is very rare, (speaking of Kaur, why do we call them Singhni if they happen to follow Rehat instead of Kaur?) Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh

Singh most of the girls you consider Singhni's are born n brought up in Amritdhari families. Their parents mindset is traditional & conservative so chances of girls getting to choose is very slim.

Jatha, caste & your family background is more important than your job & character.

My suggestion, either let your parents arrange a match or marry a Kaur by Choice not birth.

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh Do their parents not know even the most Basic of Gurmat if they practice caste? That is probably the worst excuse i have ever heard of for being pro-caste, (traditional and conservative), be conservative in Sikhi not in your own Manmat culture. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

[singhbj singh 1,384]

Up until around 15 years ago when I was a kid, marriage according to Jatha wasn't even a thing. It didn't register at all.

Lmao, well done, we really are determined to stamp ourselves out of existence. Well, survival of the fittest and all that. If a race is determined to destroy itself, that can only be a good thing. Suicide is preferable to murder I suppose.

Kindly do a survey on Sikhsangat.

Ask how many members had a love marriage or married out of caste/jatha.

You will get the picture.

I am not in favour of any of this just stating the facts.

[singhbj singh 1,384]

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh Do their parents not know even the most Basic of Gurmat if they practice caste? That is probably the worst excuse i have ever heard of for being pro-caste, (traditional and conservative), be conservative in Sikhi not in your own Manmat culture. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

That's how it is !

Parents are biased and kids are "Pappu's" when it comes to marriage.

[MisterrSingh 4,746]

Kindly do a survey on Sikhsangat.

Ask how many members had a love marriage or married out of caste/jatha.

You will get the picture.

I am not in favour of any of this just stating the facts.

The ones who count themselves as religious, god-fearing Sikhs (I.e. Gursikhs) are the people caught up in this nonsense. The others I don't care, they can do what they want.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

That's how it is !

Parents are biased and kids are "Pappu's" when it comes to marriage.

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh, as @MisterrSingh has said, I could care less about what some RSS "sikh" agents do on an individual level, but they shouldn't corrupt the Panth as a whole. We should personally call these RSS "sikh" agents out whenever we can. What's next Anritdharis hating Anritdharis who are of a different race? Or maybe hating Anritdharis for wearing a different style Dastar? This is just silly if you ask me. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

[sikhni777 840]

Some type of class distinction happens over time. Likes attract and unlikes repel. We tend to bond with those who are more like us in background, behaviour and eating habits. However there are always the exceptions which are the love marriages which will force family members to bond with others.

These jathas I assume are a continuity of our sikh culture which some people have been able to adhere to strictly when in India. Being forced to flee constant ploice arrests and persecutions the survivors have managed to flee and preserve and spread their sikh beliefs around the world.

The average sikh student has managed to pick up this type of sikhi. Its got nothing to do with segregation but rather all our different upbringing. There are many types of divisions in other religions too. However the panth is able to unite and keep their differences aside for instance on the past black diwali. No one put their jathebandhis aside and resolved to celebrate diwali in the former traditional way with fireworks and candles.

If we were born during Guru Nanaks time we would still belong to some or another class. Jathes, surnames and class are nothing new. Its just that we are being faced with changes so fast. Just some 20 years ago mobile phones were just toys and now you can walk around with all the SGGS stored on your phone.

The traditional method of picking up your sikh beliefs have greatly changed. Therefore younsters will be different too compared to what the older generation were capable of. More keyboard and phone service is our religion eather than walking to the guradwara and sitting commiting an hour to simran or listening to kirtan. One phone call or text message is enough to break our concentration and we are off to attend to visitors at home or off for dinner elsewhere.

[simran345 2,503]

I always notice simran345 has replied to all posts, all answers r good nd motivation for OP

How u manage ur time to reply all posts?

God bless u

Thank you ji Paji for your kind words and blessings. I don't reply to all posts, as there are other brothers and sisters wiser and intelligent than me that should also receive compliments for their input, I am but a sinner myself and learn from them, and if you have noticed I don't reply to deep threads, because I don't have that much energy to. So I just reply to what I can input into.

"How I manage my time to reply?"

It's because I have a health condition, with which, I am at home mostly. I used to reply from my bed before, as I had become so weak, and mobility and overall strength wasn't too good, but with Waheguru's grace have improved. But for me physical strength isn't good, so I divert my time to something I find useful and get happiness from and if it helps somebody, then I input what I can from my side.

My typing is fast, but slower now, as I don't have a laptop no more, so I can't do touch typing anymore.

Predictive text I rarely use, so it gets bit tedious and tiring.

I should be resting, and self managing my time more better, but it's kind of habit coming on here now ?

Waheguru twanu chardi kala vich rakhe ji.

?? Waheguru.

[Akalifauj 900]

Let's look at the caste system. A system to subjugate individuals into different categories That allow some to be higher and others are forced to the bottom 0f the barrel. It's was based on job and family status. Today, most sikhs when speaking of caste they are speaking about family background. Yet the so called educated Sikhs mostly from non Jatt backgrounds will marry only families with high status and with similar high paying jobs which includes there caste. This is discrimination based on the caste system. Brahmin of the past were basically snobs. Today the same can be said about these educated Sikhs.

Geographical location also can be considered the caste system. Yet the educated Sikhs practice this behavior fully by asking where the family is from. They don't prefer Sikhs with Malva background because they see them as lower status.

There is a fine line from looking at family background and practicing the caste system. Anyone who has explored history will understand why certain people choose to marry within like minded families. Simply quoting Gurbani does not cut it because the whole shabad 8s not presented.

[singhbj singh 1,384]

The ones who count themselves as religious, god-fearing Sikhs (I.e. Gursikhs) are the people caught up in this nonsense. The others I don't care, they can do what they want.

Hypocrites aren't Religious & God fearing but we too have flaws, only Guru-Kartar are infallible !