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Why I prefer to marry somone who is not Sikh


Guest XYZ
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My experiences to find a match through Sikhnet or other Indian Dating sites. After a long search I found that there is no match in these sites for me. Why? Well I grew in Canada. My inside and outside is Sikhi. There is no Punjabi culture in me except for the language. Even a GurSikhi woman wearing a Turban I can not find a match. The problem is because I see that the 3HO women and women who have converted to Sikhi want to be more into Punjabi cultured rather than Sikhi. They want to fit in with the group This is like when I was growing up I wanted to fit in with same with my white friends. What did they give they gave me respect, they did not bring beer into my back pack they did not ask me to cut my hair. Punjabi's did that. I took upon myself that I am not a Punjabi I made every effort to reject every thing Bollywood. Deep inside of me I kept my Sikhi they respected me as I respected them. I am getting ready for a relationship with marriage but not with Sikh or even an Indian. I know my heart will not force the spouse to convert. I believe it will happen eventually. All you fools that make a mockery of your SRM and Akal Takht are not Sikhi at all. I see the English Sikhs are the dumbest in the world when it comes to this. I know a lot of children of leaders that married out of their race in a Gurdwara. What happened to education and not converting someone by force. It seems you people have nothing to do but to create a rift between each other. You people are useless for the Sikhi for you own Guru. Everything is the same as the Guru Sahibs Jee's days but the rules have changed. You have become more violent less tolerance but the new generation in UK are the dumbest because you failed to educate the dumb English to understand Sikhi who ruled over us for almost 200 years. Coming back to my experience the Sikh women do not understand that family values are nothing its you and your spouse that are going to create family values for the next generation. I got rejected by many women who claimed to be Sikh. There are very less real Sikhs in the world but the world is full of fakes. Just like in other religions. The practice Sikhi you need no guide except Guru Granth Sahib jee. I myself have no pictures only volumes of Guru Sahib Jee and a Vaja and a Tabla. Hoping one day to bring in Guru Granth Sahib Jee to live with me and my family to come. By the way I am a disowned by Punjabi Culture. Very strong in Sikhi and the pain that comes with it as in your tests but the great lord. I am becoming more and more strong even if I have not penny in my pocket. I am rich inside and so will the woman I will marry. She will be a Sikh but it will depend on how strong I will be with the great lord. In my almost 50 years of this life I have seen so many changes within Sikhi and the world. Even though I started out with why I am having problems with Sikh women but I am going to end my topic with please make Peace with the world or the Evil Dark Side will win. Only peace will save your next generation and their and theirs. Only then the True Khalsa will Prevail.

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Guest Confusedsikh

Much of what you say appears to reflect issues that go alot deeper.

 It seems you are very much in your ego, you identify your needs and are quite set in your way. It  appears you have a very fixed mindset and your veiw narrows your vision of the greatness of this world.

Perhaps you have been through alot of struggle. Before getting married it would be important to identify and deal with your issues, and address the ego from which you talk. 

Vaheguru is in all. The person you marry is also an individual who will marry you. The world is full of wonderful people and never has there been or will there be a religion where everyone accepts the same or thinks the same. The minds of all people are as colourful as the world. Bring yourself to love everything and open up to change. Vaheguru causes every one to act and so the people cannot be blamed.it is meant to be this way.

Perhaps your pain will ease if you are able to love yourself more.

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Punjabi? What is Punjabi? Is Punjabi necessary? Is it important to learn culture where our 10guru sahibs and countless personalities were part of it? 

I would try my best effort to get involved in the culture, lifestyle that our gurus went thru. Our guru sahib ji invented new language as he knew that human needs a language that is not false and pure in every form. 

Every one is different. No fingers are same. Each individuals got their own little culture and sometime we need get out of our comfort zone and need to embrace the diversity of different lifestyles without sacrificing our religious beliefs.

 

as I read many times here.. "Bend yourself but don't bend your religion to suit your needs."

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Guest Jacfsing2
On 8/1/2016 at 1:37 PM, Guest XYZ said:

My experiences to find a match through Sikhnet or other Indian Dating sites. After a long search I found that there is no match in these sites for me. Why? Well I grew in Canada. My inside and outside is Sikhi. There is no Punjabi culture in me except for the language. Even a GurSikhi woman wearing a Turban I can not find a match. The problem is because I see that the 3HO women and women who have converted to Sikhi want to be more into Punjabi cultured rather than Sikhi. They want to fit in with the group This is like when I was growing up I wanted to fit in with same with my white friends. What did they give they gave me respect, they did not bring beer into my back pack they did not ask me to cut my hair. Punjabi's did that. I took upon myself that I am not a Punjabi I made every effort to reject every thing Bollywood. Deep inside of me I kept my Sikhi they respected me as I respected them. I am getting ready for a relationship with marriage but not with Sikh or even an Indian. I know my heart will not force the spouse to convert. I believe it will happen eventually. All you fools that make a mockery of your SRM and Akal Takht are not Sikhi at all. I see the English Sikhs are the dumbest in the world when it comes to this. I know a lot of children of leaders that married out of their race in a Gurdwara. What happened to education and not converting someone by force. It seems you people have nothing to do but to create a rift between each other. You people are useless for the Sikhi for you own Guru. Everything is the same as the Guru Sahibs Jee's days but the rules have changed. You have become more violent less tolerance but the new generation in UK are the dumbest because you failed to educate th e dumb English to understand Sikhi who ruled over us for almost 200 years. Coming back to my experience the Sikh women do not understand that family values are nothing its you and your spouse that are going to create family values for the next generation. I got rejected by many women who claimed to be Sikh. There are very less real Sikhs in the world but the world is full of fakes. Just like in other religions. The practice Sikhi you need no guide except Guru Granth Sahib jee. I myself have no pictures only volumes of Guru Sahib Jee and a Vaja and a Tabla. Hoping one day to bring in Guru Granth Sahib Jee to live with me and my family to come. By the way I am a disowned by Punjabi Culture. Very strong in Sikhi and the pain that comes with it as in your tests but the great lord. I am becoming more and more strong even if I have not penny in my pocket. I am rich inside and so will the woman I will marry. She will be a Sikh but it will depend on how strong I will be with the great lord. In my almost 50 years of this life I have seen so many changes within Sikhi and the world. Even though I started out with why I am having problems with Sikh women but I am going to end my topic with please make Peace with the world or the Evil Dark Side will win. Only peace will save your next generation and their and theirs. Only then the True Khalsa will Prevail.

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Your Haumai is amazing, (honestly never seen a person on this website with such Haumai). Have you wondered that the reason you haven't found a spouse was either your attitude or age, rather than where you were raised? Daas personally doesn't like Punjabi culture too much either,(not much of any culture really not just Punjabi), nor do I view dating as a negative concept, (in fact I'm probably one of the only posters here with a moderate view on dating). Everyone for some reason or another wants to be cultured in some way, it's just part of having a community behind your back. About the Punjabi folks doing the bad stuff, not everyone has their priorities in the best interest of people, there are whites and blacks who also peer pressure; though neither view you as part of them. To be honest I would want the entire world to accept Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji and Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji and take Amrit; however, I'm not going to just say that I could bring anyone to Sikhi; I can only provide info; though you seem to brag a lot about you being able to convert your spouse. What does SRM or Akal Takht have anything to do with you will marry? Honestly we have way bigger problems than you getting married to a Christian or an Atheist or what not, (Gurbani is about "Manas Ki EK Jaat", not talking about skin color and nationality). If you want to educate the Gurdwaras you should do it yourself and stop trying to bring the forum members down. Even though Sikh women have their problems, women from other faiths aren't that much better. Nobody has ever been forced to convert to Sikhi, stop making bogus claims. Your Haumai is amazing, and you clearly need some help. Nobody cares who you marry! Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

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On 2/8/2016 at 3:42 PM, Guest Rani said:

You are not a real sikh unless you marry a fellow believer. Simple as that.

Sorry to disagree, but being a sikh, has nothing that much to do marrying a non believer.

Marriage as a relationship is a settlement of karmic account, as well as with all other worldly relations. Here, one has a little to do as per choices. Because in the end, what is written in one´s destiny that will  for sure come forward, whether one likes it or not.

Being a sikh, has to do more with moral values to stay pure, and unconditional love and devotion, to His Charan Kamal.

All other relations as family, friends, foes, etc , end one day or the other, but our relation with Him, is eternal, and this is the relation is which we have to strengthen as sikhs.

Sat Sree Akal.

 

*Note to the O.P:

Brother,

I appreciate your bravery and courage, but will  just advice you, do not think that much about marriage and the person to marry, for if it is written in your destiny, that person will come before you automatically, and marriage will take place for sure, this nobody can ever snatch from you....

On the other side, do all on your part as per bhakti of Wahiguru, because only Bhakti is not written on our forehead, in the sense, everything else is got as per our karmic accounts, but the field of Bhakti is wide open, and as this is the only wealth we can take with us after our departure, so let us gather it as much as possible with our hands in our locker as treasure...there is no tax on it, nobody can steal it from you, neither fire can not burn it, nor water drown it...

 

Sat Sree Akal.

 

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Okay let me get this straight. I am not a Sikh because I want to marry out of religion. What about me getting up in the morning doing Kirtan Nitnem, and Kirtan Asa Kee War and in the evening Kirtan Nitnem and doing Kirtan Sukhmani Sahib in parts so I can finish Sukhmani Sahib jee over few days. I guess I am not a Gur Ka Sikh. I am a fake. I truly believe that I am not a Sikh because I have not completed my understanding of Guru Granth Sahib. Let me give you a sample of the past. I knew at a younger age. A Punjabi Sikh totally drunk and married a we will not say race, a Christian. She adopted more of Sikhi than him. For her love for him she convinced him to quit drinking and both along with the children became Amritdhari. People get out of you dark world there is much a brighter world out there. Leave you culture behind and adopt Guru Nanak Dev Jee's Sikhi. Guru Jee's Sikhi is not putting fake Pictures in your house. Guru Jee Sikhi is having and doing sewa of Guru Granth Sahib in your house as well as in the Gurdwara. Leave you silly ideas in some fire. Sikhi is brighter than the sun.

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22 hours ago, Guest XYZ said:

Okay let me get this straight. I am not a Sikh because I want to marry out of religion. What about me getting up in the morning doing Kirtan Nitnem, and Kirtan Asa Kee War and in the evening Kirtan Nitnem and doing Kirtan Sukhmani Sahib in parts so I can finish Sukhmani Sahib jee over few days.

I guess I am not a Gur Ka Sikh. I am a fake.

I truly believe that I am not a Sikh because I have not completed my understanding of Guru Granth Sahib.

Let me give you a sample of the past. I knew at a younger age. A Punjabi Sikh totally drunk and married a we will not say race, a Christian. She adopted more of Sikhi than him. For her love for him she convinced him to quit drinking and both along with the children became Amritdhari. People get out of you dark world there is much a brighter world out there. Leave you culture behind and adopt Guru Nanak Dev Jee's Sikhi. Guru Jee's Sikhi is not putting fake Pictures in your house. Guru Jee Sikhi is having and doing sewa of Guru Granth Sahib in your house as well as in the Gurdwara. Leave you silly ideas in some fire.

Sikhi is brighter than the sun.

 

Guest XYZ Jee,

from your post above, I have seen 3 important points, on which I am going to give you my opinion in the following lines:

a) No. You are not fake at all, your attitude is poistive and sincere, and this counts much in your favour.

b) You are a true sikh. It is your misconception about yourself, which makes you perceive the contrary. Sikh means student, in our case we are students of Gurmat or Sikhee, and as such, students can be bad or good, but anyhow they are students.

I agree you may not be a graduate yet, or have not completed yet your studies, but that does not mean, you are not a sikh, a student.... it is only a matter of time to grow and finish some day.

c) Sikhee / Gurbani, is brighter than Sun...there is no doubt  in it. But the Light of Gyan of Gurbani, can only benefit us, if we  follow it implicitly, not by doing what we see the rest doing. No. We have to act faithfully and diligently according to Gurmat, otherwise, we are no better than any manmukh of any other dharam, as we are going farther and farther, away from our goal Wahiguru Akal Purukh.

Gurbani, Gurmat, is very simple and direct, a highway to Satpurukh, it is only we, who are strongly entangled  in the muddy grounds, with, me, mine, our ...such a pity.

Sikhee as a spiritual science, is perfect by itself, and has no failures.

God bless you.

Sat Sree Akal.

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Why do I say that I am not a good person. You see I have been around such wonderful people who you may call them Good Sikhs but they will not say Thank You back. They lower their heads and feel shy. If someone says to me that I played Good Tabla I vow my head and feel shy. Every time I sit on a stage to do kirtan or play the second Vaja I will vow my head and not even raise my eye browse until the Kirtan is over., I know I am playing the Vaja and singing Gurbani but I am some place else. This could be because I feel I am not there yet. It could also be I see the world much larger than you. There are reasons why we should not call anyone a Sant. A person who claims to be a Sant could be the biggest fake in the world. A true Sant will never allow you to call him a Sant. I will never call my self a True GurSikh that is something that I will or will not achieve during this life. It is yet to be seen after I leave this world.

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