Jump to content

Breakups - Looking for guidance


Guest sewa
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hello All, 

I have a very close friend that just ended a very long term relationship and I'm probably going to direct him over to this forum - but was wondering if anyone has any wise words from the SGGS to share that can help motivate him. Breakups suck and they really suck the life out of you and get you down. Any wise words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My advice would be to do Simran, Paath, and believe in Shabad Gurbani. Getting a third person involved becomes the scapegoat. Along with all I have said first find out why is there a problem. Is this because of parental involvement is it because of a third person. Then separate yourselves from them  and you will find a solution to the problem. Remember even the Police do not like to get involved with domestic disputes because they will become a scapegoat. We lack our religion and are stuck into the world of Punjabi Tradition. Ask yourself what will Guru Jee Say and I want you to stop blaming yourself and do not think that you have committed a sin. Remember even Sajjan Tug was spared from his sin. Don't become an extremist learn to love.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest learn
1 hour ago, Guest sewa said:

Hello All, 

I have a very close friend that just ended a very long term relationship and I'm probably going to direct him over to this forum - but was wondering if anyone has any wise words from the SGGS to share that can help motivate him. Breakups suck and they really suck the life out of you and get you down. Any wise words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. 

Hi yes

 

I ended a relationship years ago and the Only thing that helped helped and healed me was my faith. 

 

Time and time again when I have felt let down in life by friends or a guy i have turned back to God and Truth . Now i try and keep holof it without having to learn the same lessons over and over again. 

 

The reality is that we're all on our own paths, nothing and no-one is guaranteed, noone is really there for anyone else. We can surround ourselves with people we're compatible with, but inevitably we are alone. However we can express love as God did and still does for Truth by expanding and teaching others once we ourselves have detached from the khel.

 

The death of others is a harsh lesson that nothing and no-one is forever so although it may sound harsh,we should learn this lesson sooner rather than later- then we can react a bit better when it our loved ones times come.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This world is false and our human birth quest is to train our soul to be strong and not to fall in any of the weakness. We need to conquer our mind and that can be done with the support of sikhi. 

It it is true that we mostly remember Waheguru when we get hit bad times. He is saying that don't be sad and don't give up. Relationships are false and they are here "temporary". Follow the truth and conquer your weakness. This also reminds that your soul came to this land alone and will be leaving alone. Only your meditation, your deeds and love for Waheguru goes with soul and will be judged by dharamraj.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Guest sewa said:

Hello All, 

I have a very close friend that just ended a very long term relationship and I'm probably going to direct him over to this forum - but was wondering if anyone has any wise words from the SGGS to share that can help motivate him. Breakups suck and they really suck the life out of you and get you down. Any wise words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. 

A previous thread: 

Another shabad, but sound quality not too good:

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Sewa jee,

sorry to learn about your friend´s bad phase. It is very hard to apply anything from the Bani now, as the mind is in a very stormy state.

You see, if we do not approach the Bani in our good times, in bad times, there is no guarantee, that we may benefit in case of need.

Not that the Bani is not efficient, but, it is our mind in a state of earthquake .... very bad.

Any how, if it helps in anyway,the Bani tells us the following Truth: Koor Raja, koor parja, koor sabh sansar...kis naal keejay dostee, sabh Jag chalanhaar.  Ekas bin, sabh dandh hae.

You see, all relations are based on karmic settlements, once the account in that relation is cleared, that relation consequently comes to an end.

Everything which starts, changes  or ends  is "koor", is "fanah".

Only Wahiguru Akal Purukh is changeless, is permanent, is eternal, is complete ...And in attaching our chits to His Lotus feet, through bhakti, lies our welfare, as it is the only true relationship.

He never betrays anybody, no matter how sinner one maybe, that is His beant wadeeayee, for that reason, He is also known as Dayal Purukh.

Tell your friend, the world has not come to an end because of this relationship, but to strengthen himself/herself at His Lotus Feet, and not to run away, but while being in the world, be grateful to Wahiguru, for awakening him at time from the influence of maya, in order to start walking forward, with the Light of His Naam, through Bhakti.

Sat Sree Akal.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Lessons
On 04/08/2016 at 2:28 AM, Guest sewa said:

Hello All, 

I have a very close friend that just ended a very long term relationship and I'm probably going to direct him over to this forum - but was wondering if anyone has any wise words from the SGGS to share that can help motivate him. Breakups suck and they really suck the life out of you and get you down. Any wise words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. 

Breakups whether they be relationships, friendships, with family etc teach us impermanence and that noone is really there for Anyone else. Arguments, death, losing contact with others is God showing us we must walk in this life and on the path of bhagti alone. 

I learned this after my first breakup and continue to learn it to this day. 

We must learn independence and unconditional Love with no expectations and no warrant of return. God has that Love for us hence we fall time and time again and he forgives us and continues to Love us and fearlessly serve us our karams regardless, even if we scream at him and claim we hate Him. 

He knows all is for our Betterment. No-one stays, everyone dies whether before or after us. Sometimes I look around and Renember that everyone around me will be gone in a few decades..

That's when u realise you need to start on the path. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • We have lamp (or Jyot) the pure unscented candle for a reason. Traditionally, Patis used candle light (jyot), so they could read SGGS in darkness. Light, elec didn't exist. Dhoop is used to attract the "Good spirits" but also keep freshness where Maharaj will be.  Interestingly and coincidentally I heard Sakhi a few dsys ago. During Dasa Pitha's time these souls were roaming the Earth and even Sangat noticed. Maharaj asked them "y u here?" They replied during recitation of SGGS and making Degh they didn't bother lighting candle. THAT WAS THEE ONLY REASON NO GATI WAS GIVEN TO THEM!!!  AUTHENTICITY NOT CHECKED I heard once on YT like 2 days ago.  If u apply dhoop in one room of your house twice a week u will notice a difference esp in the smell and freshness of that room. 
    • Sangat ji, With the hot weather as per Guru's Hukm, how can we look after our kes?  First of all the beard! Working in Construction, factory and any other heated environment I UNDERSTAND! At my workplace it's over 32 degree celcius and sometimes we have to lift 20kg ALL! DAY! My tips, regularly shampoo the beard during ishnan. APPLY OIL! The technique of applying oil is by rubbing it thoroughly in the roots. Pay attention to the noise esp on the chin. You will hear this "crosh crosh" noise. Keep rubbing oil until u can't hear it no more! This means the oil has blended in properly.  Second tip on beard, keep an extra kanga in your pocket. Every two, three hours give your beard a proper comb down to get rid of any sweat or stickiness. SECOND BENEFIT! Do this all 12 months every single day your beard will look like it's been professionally groomed. TRY IT! People will ask you "What gel u use? How can yer beard be naturally like that?" You can say all I use is coconut oil or whaeva oil but just comb the beard every 2-3 hours for a minute.  As for the kes, morning time get rid of all the gronjra (or knots - forgotten English word), in the morning. However, during evening comb down make sure you get rid of small remaining gronjra and comb yer hair nice and straight. You will feel soooo so relaxed. Yes our hair will go unnoticed due to Dastar, but our hair demands time and self grooming!So proper combing down, spending a good 15-20 mins most evenings is an absolute MUST!  Most evenings I let my hair down and cover hair with my parna for 2-3 hours so it gets to relax from the tying up.  FINAL TIP! We are Sikhs so we keep fighting and remember this! The tradition of Dastar and uncut hair started in India, where the weather is twice as hot. Everytime we bring this thought in the mind, Guru ji will bless us and make us feel cooled down by a notch.  Fateh.       
    • Been so much nindya and attacking Shastarvidiya since the 2000s, however if we look at gatka now it's still mostly as poor and poorly taught as it was back then, still morris dancing moves and still behzti moves in BBC shows about sikhi and vaisakhi. If people were going to attack shastarvidiya, wouldn't have made sense to improve gatka instead and make it more effective? Additionally, the Nihang Singh presence has improved greatly now, and the cracks within the the SGPC and affiliated jatha jathebandis are showing more greatly as panth becomes more knowledgable with dasam bani and itihas day-by-day, so much gyaan which was lost within panjabi sikhs during colonial times. In the 2000s, the groups were able to talk down this bani and  gyaan by associating it with  RSS and hindus, brahminwaad etc. Not working so well now is it? However with gyaan it would be also good for us to try and preserve our martial arts and keertan vidiya as well! More and more crazy keertan videos are coming out from jatha members that are being made fun of and making sangat annoyed and upset, on tiktok and instagram reels.  
    • Author Posted April 24   On 4/21/2025 at 2:43 PM, ipledgeblue said: sirr should not be nanga because keski is usually worn.   Sikhs can sleep nanga-sirr if they choose to . Being from Punjab, almost every Sardaarji i know (amritdhari or not) sleeps/showers with their hair uncovered. I don't think Guru Sahib asked us to wear Dastar to sleep and I don't think it is in SRM.   The idea of "keski being worn to sleep" is cos in Bollywood films (Bachna Ae Haseeno) Sikh characters usually tie a gol parna when sleeping since the actor's usually Hindu. So they gotta cover his head somehow or he'd have cut hair. Same reason Diljit wore a pagg to bed in the El Sueno vid. Only time they didn't do that was in Gadar with Sunny Deol which just looked odd tbh   What in the world? What sikh or even a decent human would base their knowledge of their culture or religion on a movie industry, that too Bollywood?  Believe me, no sikh ever said, I must cover my head becasue an actor did so in a movie. I've been doing it all wrong, I must start covering mh head because the sikh in that movie did.  Just because every panjabi and sardaar you know, does something, also doesn't make it right..  Follow the guru. And if you have a medical condition, then exemptions can be made.  Just admit it, because of my medical condition, I am not able to follow this rehit. Why are you getting everyone else to drop to your level?
    • Wasn't Guru Arjan Dev's martyrdom on amd always commemorated on 6th June? How come it was 30th May?  Just like 6th June 84, where the likes of Terrorists like Indira Gandhi chose to attack Darbar Sahib where many many innocent Sikhs would suffer, as they went to commemorate Martyrdom of Maharaj. 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use