35 year old. Anxious. Worried. Lonely.

[Guest Sat]

On 22 September 2018 at 5:37 AM, Guest TrtingToBeGood said:

I'm finding it hard to type but I am forcing myself. I'm thinking this is a dumb idea but I know how important sangat is now,especially because I have no friends. 

I hope you don't find this post boring. I am sorry ahead of time if you do. 

I suffer from anxiety. I can't tell you what type it is. Everyday is mental and emotional torture. It feels as if someone is taking my brain and heart and twisting it like a wet cloth. I also feel the need to be accepted and validated by others. I also have a very, very low self esteem.

I'm a 30 something loner who goes to work and comes home to his wife and child. I don't have a social life. I'm sometimes socially awkward and have a hard time making friends. I find it difficult to trust people. I have memories of being sexually molested by my father when I was young. I told my family and there has been a bad communication break down. I believe based on the responses they do not believe me. A lot of the issues I face today come from that experience I sincerely believe. 

I used to think my identity and happiness would come from my career and I set out to do what I always enjoyed. While I started it I am happy to do it but I am overall the same mess.

I started to read the SGSS in English. My Punjabi is weak and Gurmukhi non existent but I am finding the English translation helpful. I wish I could remember more of it after reading. I try to listen to simran in the car on those long drives. 

I guess I'm posting to be involved and have more sangat. I am being selfish here. But I am a nice guy. I'm a little boy trapped inside a man's body. Just trying to find his way. I'm a little lost. I need someone to take my hand. Sometimes that's how I feel. I'm embarrassed to say that because I am a father and husband. 

I look at others and feel bad about myself. I think I should have things figured out but I don't. I'm just a lost boy. 

 

 

Hi

You need to see a psychologist. You have unresolved issues and a psychologist will help you work through them and teach you how to enjoy and live your life well.

 

Thats the best advice you will get on here so take it okay.

I don't know you but you're not alone in this state, plenty of people out there like you, I myself have suffered from loneliness, anxiety and other issues. 

God bless you.

[Guest Sikh]

1.Go and get counselling about the abuse and all your problems. This is to tell your mind that you are doing something about it and allow you to work thorough your issues lively so you can have clarity.

2. Start the practice of reciting the lord's name constantly. Every time you get pain reassure yourself that very soon this simran will remove all of your problems. Why? Because gurbani is constantly reminding  us that naam is the only and final solution to all problems.

ਪਉੜੀ ॥  Pa▫oṛī.  Pauree:

ਜਿਸ ਦੈ ਚਿਤਿ ਵਸਿਆ ਮੇਰਾ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਤਿਸ ਨੋ ਕਿਉ ਅੰਦੇਸਾ ਕਿਸੈ ਗਲੈ ਦਾ ਲੋੜੀਐ ॥  Jis ḏai cẖiṯ vasi▫ā merā su▫āmī ṯis no ki▫o anḏesā kisai galai ḏā loṛī▫ai.  One whose consciousness is filled with my Lord Master - why should he feel anxious about anything?

ਹਰਿ ਸੁਖਦਾਤਾ ਸਭਨਾ ਗਲਾ ਕਾ ਤਿਸ ਨੋ ਧਿਆਇਦਿਆ ਕਿਵ ਨਿਮਖ ਘੜੀ ਮੁਹੁ ਮੋੜੀਐ ॥  Har sukẖ▫ḏāṯa sabẖnā galā kā ṯis no ḏẖi▫ā▫iḏi▫ā kiv nimakẖ gẖaṛī muhu moṛī▫ai.  The Lord is the Giver of Peace, the Lord of all things; why would we turn our faces away from His meditation, even for a moment, or an instant?

ਜਿਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਧਿਆਇਆ ਤਿਸ ਨੋ ਸਰਬ ਕਲਿਆਣ ਹੋਏ ਨਿਤ ਸੰਤ ਜਨਾ ਕੀ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਜਾਇ ਬਹੀਐ ਮੁਹੁ ਜੋੜੀਐ ॥  Jin har ḏẖi▫ā▫i▫ā ṯis no sarab kali▫āṇ ho▫e niṯ sanṯ janā kī sangaṯ jā▫e bahī▫ai muhu joṛī▫ai.  One who meditates on the Lord obtains all pleasures and comforts; let us go each and every day, to sit in the Saints' Society.

ਸਭਿ ਦੁਖ ਭੁਖ ਰੋਗ ਗਏ ਹਰਿ ਸੇਵਕ ਕੇ ਸਭਿ ਜਨ ਕੇ ਬੰਧਨ ਤੋੜੀਐ ॥  Sabẖ ḏukẖ bẖukẖ rog ga▫e har sevak ke sabẖ jan ke banḏẖan ṯoṛī▫ai.  All the pain, hunger, and disease of the Lord's servant are eradicated; the bonds of the humble beings are torn away.

ਹਰਿ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਤੇ ਹੋਆ ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤੁ ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤ ਜਨਾ ਕੈ ਮੁਹਿ ਡਿਠੈ ਜਗਤੁ ਤਰਿਆ ਸਭੁ ਲੋੜੀਐ ॥੪॥  Har kirpā ṯe ho▫ā har bẖagaṯ har bẖagaṯ janā kai muhi diṯẖai jagaṯ ṯari▫ā sabẖ loṛī▫ai. ||4||  By the Lord's Grace, one becomes the Lord's devotee; beholding the face of the Lord's humble devotee, the whole world is saved and carried across. ||4||

[mahandulai]

On 9/22/2018 at 3:37 AM, Guest TrtingToBeGood said:

I'm finding it hard to type but I am forcing myself. I'm thinking this is a dumb idea but I know how important sangat is now,especially because I have no friends. 

I hope you don't find this post boring. I am sorry ahead of time if you do. 

I suffer from anxiety. I can't tell you what type it is. Everyday is mental and emotional torture. It feels as if someone is taking my brain and heart and twisting it like a wet cloth. I also feel the need to be accepted and validated by others. I also have a very, very low self esteem.

I'm a 30 something loner who goes to work and comes home to his wife and child. I don't have a social life. I'm sometimes socially awkward and have a hard time making friends. I find it difficult to trust people. I have memories of being sexually molested by my father when I was young. I told my family and there has been a bad communication break down. I believe based on the responses they do not believe me. A lot of the issues I face today come from that experience I sincerely believe. 

I used to think my identity and happiness would come from my career and I set out to do what I always enjoyed. While I started it I am happy to do it but I am overall the same mess.

I started to read the SGSS in English. My Punjabi is weak and Gurmukhi non existent but I am finding the English translation helpful. I wish I could remember more of it after reading. I try to listen to simran in the car on those long drives. 

I guess I'm posting to be involved and have more sangat. I am being selfish here. But I am a nice guy. I'm a little boy trapped inside a man's body. Just trying to find his way. I'm a little lost. I need someone to take my hand. Sometimes that's how I feel. I'm embarrassed to say that because I am a father and husband. 

I look at others and feel bad about myself. I think I should have things figured out but I don't. I'm just a lost boy. 

 

 

do what you love, its okay to be worth less than you thought, 

[Punjabiwolves]

Sorry to hear about your situation. counselling would be the good starting point. Taking to a professional who will be able to fully understand your feeling etc will allow you to get on the right path. 

Work with your wife. Work as a partnership to resolve your issue. A problem shared is a problem halved.

go for walks, walking is the best medication against fighting anxiety.

you're not alone.  use your support network to fight against this . you will win 

[Guest GuestSingh]

not expecting a reply from the op but if youre reading this bro, please talk to a professional immediately..you sound like you have a lot of questions and doubts that need answering..

understand the feeling myself about hiding personal anxiety..like yourself it cripples the mind everyday..its a mentally draining and time-wasting battle and makes days not as productive as they should be..so dont feel alone - youre not the only one living like this..

you say you want someone to hold your hand..to guide you..someone to trust? well who better than Guru Gobind Singh ji, our spiritual father? 

bro youre blessed to have a wife and child..dont let your experiences beat you - we'll only live this life once and as mentioned only you can help yourself so try finding something that will motivate and empower you and make you feel more of a better husband and father..