Mistreatment by parents

[Guest Hopeleas]

Dear sangat ji,

 

Im 33, residing in Canada, living with my parenrs. I work an honest job, live with my parents. For the last 2 years, ever since getting married, my parents have been very difficult with me.

 

My last issue was my mum was upset with my wife and told me to leave the house. That we are free to go. 

 

It isnt the first time, my mum will say this in an argument m, essentially i feel gaslighted beyond belief.

 

Im not sure who to turn to, i live with my parents and have been giving them my wages after graduation. I have given close to 150,000 and try to be a good son.

I really feel hopeless, im stuck, i live in a very expensive city, im an average earner,  and dont wish to move out, but feel mentally tortutered.

 

I know babaji provides, but sometimes feel it is kalyug where parents treat kids wrong.

[puzzled 3,948]

Move out, they don't deserve you,  many parents do treat their kids like sh!t 

You deserve better 

[Wicked Warrior 205]

What’s happened to trigger this change? Did they not approve of your wife? Was it a “love marriage” as opposed to a semi-arranged marriage? Have there been issues between your wife and parents? Something will have instigated this. Maybe your parents want you to stand on your own two feet? What has your wife said about all this?

 

I’m only a couple of years older than you and in this situation, I would move out. Discuss your situation with your wife, make a plan (look at what you need to achieve to move out and where to eg deposit, commuting distance, etc). Start saving up. You give your parents your income. You will need to tackle this in some way and stop giving your income or slowly reduce what you give so that by the time you’ve left, you’re not giving them anything.