Husband is against my sikhi

[Guest What to do]

Has anyone ever experienced this and can send me relatable advice:

I am into sikhi, my husband is not. He seemed like a normal guy for a person you would label as who identifies themselves as sikh but doesn’t practice. I always thought a sikh would always root for someone to progress on their spiritual path. Not be miserable that I no longer want to do the same things. He finds it hard to accept that I want to wear a dastar.

Now with Guru jis kirpa I have got more and more into my sikhi but he keeps insulting things,  he’s always negative about anything to do with it. Says ‘he’s not interested’ or he’s ‘sick of hearing about Waheguru’. We saw a Really inspirational Katha and he said I don’t care I’m not interested... it’s upsetting as I feel, ok you don’t have to feel the same as it’s Upto Waheguru when you are blessed to see the truth, but to say unsupportive comments all the time doesn’t help our marriage... and critical comments towards something about Waheguru like Katha just raises my anger. Something I’m trying to keep low but he’s making it so difficult! If we meet someone spiritual like a relative who is really gursikh, he doesn’t make an effort or talk as nicely as he would to some <banned word filter activated> talking about football. 
 

I think he cant comprehend my love for something he can’t see and he can’t handle that my world doesn’t revolve about him, that something else fulfils me.

[Kaurr]

Do Ardaas and dont give up your sikhi

 

[Not2Cool2Argue]

On 8/16/2020 at 10:54 AM, Guest What to do said:

Has anyone ever experienced this and can send me relatable advice:

I am into sikhi, my husband is not. He seemed like a normal guy for a person you would label as who identifies themselves as sikh but doesn’t practice. I always thought a sikh would always root for someone to progress on their spiritual path. Not be miserable that I no longer want to do the same things. He finds it hard to accept that I want to wear a dastar.

Now with Guru jis kirpa I have got more and more into my sikhi but he keeps insulting things,  he’s always negative about anything to do with it. Says ‘he’s not interested’ or he’s ‘sick of hearing about Waheguru’. We saw a Really inspirational Katha and he said I don’t care I’m not interested... it’s upsetting as I feel, ok you don’t have to feel the same as it’s Upto Waheguru when you are blessed to see the truth, but to say unsupportive comments all the time doesn’t help our marriage... and critical comments towards something about Waheguru like Katha just raises my anger. Something I’m trying to keep low but he’s making it so difficult! If we meet someone spiritual like a relative who is really gursikh, he doesn’t make an effort or talk as nicely as he would to some <banned word filter activated> talking about football. 
 

I think he cant comprehend my love for something he can’t see and he can’t handle that my world doesn’t revolve about him, that something else fulfils me.

Try not to talk to him about sikhi. Go to the gurudwara by yourself and you wont have to listen to his negativity.

I think he feels pressured and he knows he is in the wrong which makes him defensive and lash out 

So when with him, talk and do worldly things. 

And then go by yourself to do sikhi things like amritvela, nitnem, rehraas sahib. 

Dont let him stop you from doing sikh things, just say i dont stop you from wasting time on____. 

But wearing a dastaar and taking amrit are decisions you will have to take together. As even the panj pyare dont let you take amrit without spouse. And you shouldnt wear a dastaar without amrit. 

Many women have been in your shoes. 

During the Gurus time, there was a queen who used to go at Amritvela to satsang. Her husband did not allow it. Once the King followed her and stole her sandals as proof of her disobedience. But she was saved from trouble and they both became sikhs. 

Some women were married into non sikh families. They had a really tough time. But they kept faith and were blessed in the end. 

Keep your faith and stay strong and keep doing ardaas. 

[Guest Workonit]

You may have to find out the real reason for his behaviour. He may show his distaste in ur new love for sikhi because there is an unlying problem in ur relationship.

So even if it wasnt sikhi but something else you were into and really enjoying, say a new hobby, he would target that. But its more of a means of reaching out to you (i know this might sound weird but those who have studied human behaviour will know).

This is common behaviour in couples, especially if they cant express their emotions clearly and often misunderstood.

Are you both giving each other the same time, effort, love, physical needs, emotional support? Was it enough previously or did you without knowing hold back on something?

If your new love for sikhi has meant you have withdrawn on an aspect of the marriage, ie physical relationship, or emotional support then this might be the underlying issue. Not the 'sikhi' but something lacking between you both.

 

Remember as a sikh, resolving and making a healthy union is also part of the journey. Marriage is the greatest challenge where we deal with our ego and many behaviours and values to be a better person.

There may not be a right or wrong, but if you run off on your own path to sikhi and dont take him along you may create an issue. We cannot simply say 'sikhi' is the true path and therefore we are enforcing it immediately on our marriage. It has to be nutured.

Aside from dealing with the underlying issues, Do ardas for him, and read bani or shabads asking Guruji to bless you both.

 

 

 

 

 

[ipledgeblue]

On 8/16/2020 at 6:54 PM, Guest What to do said:

If we meet someone spiritual like a relative who is really gursikh, he doesn’t make an effort or talk as nicely as he would to some <banned word filter activated> talking about football. 

lol tell him to stop behaving like a gora and a coconut. Serious, we can talk about football as much as we want, the football teams are still going to be racist and not let apney play, serious wast of time.

Maybe he needs to hear some katha about warriors fighting and becoming shaheed. That will bring the men in! Just some interesting aspect of history!

 

There is katha about Guru Hargobind, Guru Gobind Singh, history about sikh misls, and the world wars! Also so much sikh history about colonial times!