Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Guest GuptTryingtobeGurmuk

Mr

Recommended Posts

Guest GuptTryingtobeGurmuk

Since I’ve practised being a Sikh, my mum has always suppressed me: stopped me from doing kirtan, stopped from reading bani, stopped me from wearing a gol dastar. For example, she would come screaming at me at amritvela and force me out of the shower and threaten to tell people I’m a fanatic. She stops me from waking up at amritvela.  She stops me from practising rehat  and physically forces me to eat before I do my nitnem. She will purposely take my gutka sahib away from me. I don’t even know what to do. It’s seems as if god is letting this happen. What do I do??? Why’s this happening to me?????? 
 

please forgive me for my mistakes. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Guest GuptTryingtobeGurmuk said:

Since I’ve practised being a Sikh, my mum has always suppressed me: stopped me from doing kirtan, stopped from reading bani, stopped me from wearing a gol dastar. For example, she would come screaming at me at amritvela and force me out of the shower and threaten to tell people I’m a fanatic. She stops me from waking up at amritvela.  She stops me from practising rehat  and physically forces me to eat before I do my nitnem. She will purposely take my gutka sahib away from me. I don’t even know what to do. It’s seems as if god is letting this happen. What do I do??? Why’s this happening to me?????? 
 

please forgive me for my mistakes. 

Endure and earn much fruit friend. 

You'll soon be old enough it won't matter.  In the mean time continue your Naam Simran and maybe...

Try this..

Prompting involves two components: voicing the importance of your relationship and revealing your own feelings. Voicing the importance of your relationship generally involves making supportive statements, such as “You matter so much to me” or “You’re important to me” or “I care about you a great deal.” Declarations like these signal how special someone is to us. They’re the kind of reassurance many narcissists don’t even realize they miss. They nudge people toward thinking about the relationship, moving the focus from you and me to we. More importantly, they signal your willingness to offer secure love.

 

So you might say:

 

“I consider you an important friend. That’s why I feel so sad when you don’t return my calls for weeks.”

“Mom, you’re one of the most important people in my life. So when you question my every move, I feel devastated, like I’m a failure in your eyes.”

Next Teach Them Their ABCs

 

Malkin says that first you should tell them how you’re feeling:

 

A is for affect, aka feeling. Feeling statements use the word I liberally, as in I’m feeling uncomfortable, uneasy, unhappy. You can also use stronger words like sad, afraid, scared, but since you’re usually not in a friendship or romantic relationship with the person you’re speaking to, vaguer, less intense emotional language might be better. Follow your gut on that one. The main goal is to describe your experience only. Never use “you” in this step.

 

Then tell them what behavior is causing it:

 

B is for behavior. This is the experience, interaction, or action that causes the feelings. For example: When you raise your voice; When I hear only criticism; When you sound sarcastic; When you cut me off midsentence.

 

And then let them know what correction you would like to see:

 

C is for correction. This refers to the change you’re seeking. Proper assertiveness always involves a request of some kind. It’s a form of coaching. You’re telling the listener what they need to do to improve interactions. Examples: Can you lower your voice?; Can you tell me what steps you want taken?; Can you use a kinder tone?

 

For example:

 

“I feel unhappy the rest of the day when you criticize me in front of the entire group. Can you save your feedback for one-on-one meetings?”

Also use as many we statements as possible like, "We love each other too much to act this way" or "We are supportive of each other in this family and it is very imoortant to me".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest bang on
20 hours ago, Guest GuptTryingtobeGurmuk said:

Since I’ve practised being a Sikh, my mum has always suppressed me: stopped me from doing kirtan, stopped from reading bani, stopped me from wearing a gol dastar. For example, she would come screaming at me at amritvela and force me out of the shower and threaten to tell people I’m a fanatic. She stops me from waking up at amritvela.  She stops me from practising rehat  and physically forces me to eat before I do my nitnem. She will purposely take my gutka sahib away from me. I don’t even know what to do. It’s seems as if god is letting this happen. What do I do??? Why’s this happening to me?????? 
 

please forgive me for my mistakes. 

Tbh it looks like she needs to see an exorcist immediately,  otherwise the demon spirit that has taken possession of her will destroy her and her entire family completely.  How long do her seizures last? Do you hear different voices emanating from her when she is having a seizure? Does she claim to see spirits in the midst of all this? Do they tell her what to do next?  There is something very weird and paranormal going on here otherwise why would she be so delirious and demanding almost to a point where she can’t see what she is doing? Evil people go to hell after death and their spirits haunt the earth because their  strong attachment to it. They are always on the look out to possess human beings, especially the ones that don’t believe in God. I mean, the ones that claim to be atheists because of their ignorance. The evil spirits possess the atheists because they know there is no one to stop them from possessing them. They know God will not help them because of their continual denials of His existence. Evil spirits don’t know they are dead, so they behave like they never died and still wish to carry on enjoying the material pleasures as usual. In order to do this they possess the weakest human being they can find to carry out their pleasurable pursuits, as simple as this. Possession by evil spirits is nothing new. All she needs is for someone to take her to the nearest Gurughar for help. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest GuptTryingtobeGurmuk
On 11/9/2020 at 8:31 PM, Guest bang on said:

Tbh it looks like she needs to see an exorcist immediately,  otherwise the demon spirit that has taken possession of her will destroy her and her entire family completely.  How long do her seizures last? Do you hear different voices emanating from her when she is having a seizure? Does she claim to see spirits in the midst of all this? Do they tell her what to do next?  There is something very weird and paranormal going on here otherwise why would she be so delirious and demanding almost to a point where she can’t see what she is doing? Evil people go to hell after death and their spirits haunt the earth because their  strong attachment to it. They are always on the look out to possess human beings, especially the ones that don’t believe in God. I mean, the ones that claim to be atheists because of their ignorance. The evil spirits possess the atheists because they know there is no one to stop them from possessing them. They know God will not help them because of their continual denials of His existence. Evil spirits don’t know they are dead, so they behave like they never died and still wish to carry on enjoying the material pleasures as usual. In order to do this they possess the weakest human being they can find to carry out their pleasurable pursuits, as simple as this. Possession by evil spirits is nothing new. All she needs is for someone to take her to the nearest Gurughar for help. 

Sometimes she speaks a dialect I can’t understand. My mum is not educated to very high levels, she can barely speak English but I have heard her singing in Swedish (I think it’s Swedish) many times when she is washing dishes. We live in Derby where she was born. She is totally oblivious to what I want and why. I can’t talk to her about anything and I never get any help dying her with my homework. Where can I find the exorcist if you can tell me pls.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It doesn't matter if its untreated mental illness or posession the only thing you can do is Naam Simran. If the person isn't seeking out either remedy there is nothing you can do but protect yourself and pray for everyone. Turn your pain over to SatGuru. With the prayer and turning to Akhal you may see some temporary relief but ultimately your mothers well being and abusive behaviors are totally out of your control. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Guest GuptTryingtobeGurmuk said:

Sometimes she speaks a dialect I can’t understand. My mum is not educated to very high levels, she can barely speak English but I have heard her singing in Swedish (I think it’s Swedish) many times when she is washing dishes. We live in Derby where she was born. She is totally oblivious to what I want and why. I can’t talk to her about anything and I never get any help dying her with my homework. Where can I find the exorcist if you can tell me pls.

Feel for you bro. It wouldn't be Chardikala unless there was plenty of reason not to be Chardikala. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest firecracker
2 hours ago, GurjantGnostic said:

Feel for you bro. It wouldn't be Chardikala unless there was plenty of reason not to be Chardikala. 

He doesn’t need your feelings he needs help and fast. She needs to see a specialist for cure before he goes crazy, understood? What good are your feelings if they can’t help him

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, Guest firecracker said:

He doesn’t need your feelings he needs help and fast. She needs to see a specialist for cure before he goes crazy, understood? What good are your feelings if they can’t help him

How do you suppose I, or you for that matter lol, get him, to get her to see what type of specialist exactly?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ultimately it's beyond us. 

In the human realm if directly addressing the person doesn't work. You then get a close friend or family member to try with you in private and if that fails you can enlist the help of the larger friends and family or government. Whether somebody wants to document and record their personal life to try and effect a change in everyone's life for the better is a personal decision. 

The truth is other than Naam there is no simple answer. And so yes. I feel for you bro. Stay Chardikala and keep Vaheguru Mantra in your mouth and mind.  Stay blessed and do everything you can good for yourself. Be good to yourself.  Because as the ego dies through this it will hurt like hell and you need connection to Vaheguru and positive things, daily activity to stay healthy as you shed your limitations and find your way through this. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh. And if this Maya this Khel this Kalyug seems to hate on you. Take it as a compliment. 

Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaja speaks about the nature of Kalyug and how to recognise it in Sri Dasam Granth Ji. The weather report as it were for the rightous was not so good superficially or in most ways worldly. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/9/2020 at 1:23 AM, GurjantGnostic said:

Endure and earn much fruit friend. 

You'll soon be old enough it won't matter.  In the mean time continue your Naam Simran and maybe...

Try this..

Prompting involves two components: voicing the importance of your relationship and revealing your own feelings. Voicing the importance of your relationship generally involves making supportive statements, such as “You matter so much to me” or “You’re important to me” or “I care about you a great deal.” Declarations like these signal how special someone is to us. They’re the kind of reassurance many narcissists don’t even realize they miss. They nudge people toward thinking about the relationship, moving the focus from you and me to we. More importantly, they signal your willingness to offer secure love.

 

So you might say:

 

“I consider you an important friend. That’s why I feel so sad when you don’t return my calls for weeks.”

“Mom, you’re one of the most important people in my life. So when you question my every move, I feel devastated, like I’m a failure in your eyes.”

Next Teach Them Their ABCs

 

Malkin says that first you should tell them how you’re feeling:

 

A is for affect, aka feeling. Feeling statements use the word I liberally, as in I’m feeling uncomfortable, uneasy, unhappy. You can also use stronger words like sad, afraid, scared, but since you’re usually not in a friendship or romantic relationship with the person you’re speaking to, vaguer, less intense emotional language might be better. Follow your gut on that one. The main goal is to describe your experience only. Never use “you” in this step.

 

Then tell them what behavior is causing it:

 

B is for behavior. This is the experience, interaction, or action that causes the feelings. For example: When you raise your voice; When I hear only criticism; When you sound sarcastic; When you cut me off midsentence.

 

And then let them know what correction you would like to see:

 

C is for correction. This refers to the change you’re seeking. Proper assertiveness always involves a request of some kind. It’s a form of coaching. You’re telling the listener what they need to do to improve interactions. Examples: Can you lower your voice?; Can you tell me what steps you want taken?; Can you use a kinder tone?

 

For example:

 

“I feel unhappy the rest of the day when you criticize me in front of the entire group. Can you save your feedback for one-on-one meetings?”

Also use as many we statements as possible like, "We love each other too much to act this way" or "We are supportive of each other in this family and it is very imoortant to me".

A little off topic, but can you recommend any good books on psychology because you seem to have learned a lot 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Premi5 said:

A little off topic, but can you recommend any good books on psychology because you seem to have learned a lot 

I read some text books. That is from a site on how to deal with narcissists. I've read a lot and sifted information but no one source stands out. 

We collaborate with psychologists in our Dojo and a lot of the reading had to do with that. And people I know suffer various maladies and I've come to learn of them that way. My mother was a Dr and so I was raised on it as well, and I have friends that work in mental health. 

There are probably far more literate, more librarian type, Sangat here who could make far better specific recommendations I'm sure. My mind works more like a code breaker so I discard or forget where I learn most information. Lol. If it's not information of a distinct path or way it's filed under..worldstuffs...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • On the topic of medicine and pharma take nasseau for example. Somebody could...   What Is Zofran? Zofran (ondansetron) is an antiemetic and selective 5-HT3 receptor antagonist prescribed for the treatment of nausea and vomiting due to cancer chemotherapy and also used to prevent and treat nausea and vomiting after surgery. Zofran is available in generic form. What Are Side Effects of Zofran? Common side effects of Zofran include: diarrhea, headache, fever, lightheadedness, dizziness, weakness, tiredness, drowsiness, constipation, rash, blurred vision, and muscle spasm. Dosage for Zofran Zofran adult dose is 32-mg given as a single dose or divided in three 0.15-mg/kg divided doses infused over 15 minutes. What Drugs, Substances, or Supplements Interact with Zofran? Zofran may interact with arsenic trioxide, tacrolimus, tramadol, antibiotics, antidepressants, anti-malaria medications, heart rhythm medicines, medicine to prevent or treat nausea and vomiting, medicines to treat psychiatric disorders, migraine headache medicines, narcotics, or seizure medications. Tell your doctor all medications and supplements you use. Zofran During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding Zofran should not be used during pregnancy unless the benefits outweigh the risks. It is not known if Zofran is excreted in breast milk. Consult your doctor before breastfeeding. Additional Information Our Zofran Side Effects Drug Center provides a comprehensive view of available drug information on the potential side effects when taking this medication. What are the chances the less common side effects include death, stroke, seizure, anurism, or something horrible.  Or somebody could drink Bhang and kill two birds with one stoner and never encounter a negative side effect and especially not death.  And if we look at the meds this replaced I bet it's even worse. 
    • It's been pretty comprehensive. Sticking just to the topic no question. 
    • Basics of Sikhi made a video about that. The shabad was mistranslated.
    • Quick question: Didn't Guru Gobind Singh Ji say he wasn't Waheguru. Wondering if Guru Sahib meant that he wasn't solely Akalpurakh and how that would fit with the quotation above... Bhul Chuk Maaf 🙏
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use