Amritdhari and relationships

[sukhnidhaan]

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

Guru maharaaj says it is pre-destined who we are gonna 'be with', so we should live in his bhaana with proper Gurmat rehni behni.

CHARDEE KALAA!

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

[smartsingh24]

umm.....that answers what exactly?

[Gupt daasan daas]

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

bujjar kureights repersent the most SERIOUS paaps

fo example, the actual bujjar kureight is halal as stated in dasam granth sahib

but that dont mean u can go and chatka a bakaara for taste

same for dating

ure supposed to see everyone as URE SISTER and BROTHER

intresrnting how u can see ure sister and still date her??

and the see everyone as sister is stated in bani

bhula chuka maf

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

[smartsingh24]

Right... and you can't do that without viewing every one as your brother and sister.. The main point in this whole thread.

[Princess]

Just because you are Amritdhari and in a relationship no one can classify that as wrong. If two people have feelings for eachother and want to be with eachother for the rest of their lives they can still follow what Guru Ji said and think of everyone as their brothers, sisters, mothers, or fathers. Since the person that they are in a relationship with IS going to be their future life partner, they are still following what Guru Ji said. "Dating" is different from "Relationships" so we cannot put them both together. Dating is when a person dates different people to "find the right person" which in my opinion is not Sikhi and I find Sikhs should stay away from. Being a "Relationship" is much different though, being in a relationship means you found that person you want to be with, and as some of you already mentioned, become one with God as husband and wife. I'm sure arranged marriages can be a good idea, but for some they would rather be with someone they know. The friendship thing, that two people are friends and they know eachother and then get married that's an excellent example. When two Sikhs are in a relationship they shouldn't do anything that Sikhi is against, (i.e.pre-maritial) and being amritdhari they are well aware that that is wrong so they will still have proper Rehat. I don't know why some are saying that it's against Rahet because then you are saying it is wrong for an Amritdhari to be married, you know what I mean? It doesn't make sense to argue about this. Yes you are right if you

see Amritdharis who are "DATING" then you have a right to say that is wrong. However if two Amritdharis are in a relationship then I believe no one should have the right to tell them that they are wrong. Those two wouldn't be in a relationship if Guru Ji did not want them to be (Since everything is pre-determined before we are born). :TH:

[smartsingh24]

Just a couple of things i'd like to say....

Just because you are Amritdhari and in a relationship no one can classify that as wrong. If two people have feelings for eachother and want to be with eachother for the rest of their lives they can still follow what Guru Ji said and think of everyone as their brothers, sisters, mothers, or fathers.

Maybe fathers and mothers, but no way can you be in a relationship and still think of people as brothers and sisters because you're defying that same principle. Everyone means EVERYONE. Not everyone but who you're dating, but everyone you know.

"Dating" is different from "Relationships" so we cannot put them both together. Dating is when a person dates different people to "find the right person" which in my opinion is not Sikhi and I find Sikhs should stay away from. Being a "Relationship" is much different though, being in a relationship means you found that person you want to be with, and as some of you already mentioned, become one with God as husband and wife.

There's one thing wrong with that. Relationship according to you means that you've found someone. Dating means you are trying to fi

nd. Which means that you had to date in order to be in a relationship. In other words, you had to try to find in order to find.

When two Sikhs are in a relationship they shouldn't do anything that Sikhi is against, (i.e.pre-maritial) and being amritdhari they are well aware that that is wrong so they will still have proper Rehat.

True, but this isn't about that, this is about the process used by amrithdharis to find someone to marry.

However if two Amritdharis are in a relationship then I believe no one should have the right to tell them that they are wrong.

I agree, it's their lives. This is just an open discussion about what people should do, not what they do do.

[sukhnidhaan]

Very true veeraa. Good response!

[Mahavir]

I think you guys are being bit extreme with this.

I agree that it's wrong to be lusting after every girl you see, but what about the person you want to marry? You have to talk to her, don't you?

What if you can't get an arrainged marriage?

As an amritdhari, or kesadhari, I think a Sikh knows the boundries, so we shouldn't worry too much.

[smartsingh24]

I have no solid way of telling you what to expect, arranged marriage or not, because I'm not married yet. Heck, I don't know what I'm gonna be doing tomorrow, except for the vauge image that I'm going to be going to Gurdwara. And that's the way life is, you have a vague image, and you fill in the details. What could this possibly have to do with marriage? Simple, you get an idea of what you want, not in a girl or aguy, but what you want from a marriage, and what you want from the rest of life. I'm hoping everything else falls into place, but hell, what do I know? The point, is that you have know way of expecting what's gonna be what way. Every marriage is diffrent, and every method is diffrent. An arranged marriage is just one way, and in my opinion is the only way possible to still be following guru ji's wishes. I don't think it's gonna be like meeting a complete stranger, from what I know you talk to the person a little bit, and there usually is some amount of time between engagement and anand karaj....

[sukhnidhaan]

I think you guys are being bit extreme with this.

I agree that it's wrong to be lusting after every girl you see, but what about the person you want to marry? You have to talk to her, don't you?

What if you can't get an arrainged marriage?

As an amritdhari, or kesadhari, I think a Sikh knows the boundries, so we shouldn't worry too much.

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

Trouble is my dear veer, knowing and doing can be two different things...it depends on how seriously and with what level of commitment we take Guru Sahib's bachan.

Again, I agree with what 'smartsingh24' just posted.

Everyone's personal situation may be different...you cannot understand that fully so it's not worth troubling someone with your desires.

Also remember, the 5 chor can sneak their way through the 'boundaries'! Watch out and be weary...

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!