I dont want to do this anymore

[Guest faseyahoya]

So I am 16 and was blessed with khande di pauhl exactly 1.5 months ago at anandpur sahib. Before that, I practiced everything a khalsa would do. nitnem, chastity, naam abhyas, etc.

I have a pretty good image in public and people. Before, i felt like guru is very much near me, but now I feel like i am being seperated from him. I still do nitnem but i really want to defeat kaam and other evils. I read other threads but I feel like this is the only option left. I quit social media for 6 months but now my manmukh mind is back at it. I have committed no kurehit.

Please tell me my amrit is not broken.

[ssinghuk]

Waheguru, here's my penny worth -

It's fantastic at such a young age, 16, you are already doing Nitnem and have taken Amrit! That in itself is a feat!

However, as you are now experiencing, there are going to be highs and lows. 

Gurbani (e.g. last pauri of Japji Sahib - Jat pahara...) refers to this situation and so does our history.

When Dhan Dhan Dhan SatGuru Amar Das Ji Maharaj were managing the construction of the Boali Sahib at Goindwal Sahib, the Sikhs at the time would dig for many days at a time to help complete the Seva. One some days the digging would be easy, in that, the soil/earth would crumble easily and could be removed without much effort. On other days it would be much harder and seem near impossible. On some occasions it would need the intervention of Maharaj themselves.

Have a listen to this as well.

Hang in there. Don't stop your Nitneym at all costs

[Guest BusPyaar]

9 hours ago, Guest faseyahoya said:

So I am 16 and was blessed with khande di pauhl exactly 1.5 months ago at anandpur sahib. Before that, I practiced everything a khalsa would do. nitnem, chastity, naam abhyas, etc.

I have a pretty good image in public and people. Before, i felt like guru is very much near me, but now I feel like i am being seperated from him. I still do nitnem but i really want to defeat kaam and other evils. I read other threads but I feel like this is the only option left. I quit social media for 6 months but now my manmukh mind is back at it. I have committed no kurehit.

Please tell me my amrit is not broken.

Maharaj Ji it’s forever forgiving. They love us infinite times more than our mothers, can you imagine! Soo don’t be hard on yourself, They are understanding, loving, and nonjudgmental. Waheguru ji

[NaamTiharoJoJape]

No your amrit has not "broken" if you haven't committed any of kurehit of tann, physically. You mention kaam and mann, so I assume it is chetvan kaam. Worst you can get is a tankhah from panj piare otherwise. Biggest influence on your mann will be sangat around you, be sure to filter through your sangat and environment. Keep your head up Singh. 

[Singh375]

Hey bro, by Vaheguru ji kirpa you are doing incredibly well. You received Amrit at young age, and from Sri Anandpur Sahib, wow that’s awesome! Amrit doesn’t ‘break’. 

All young people are the same, kaam is strong at that age. As for feeling down, honestly every person in this world is miserable and down.

Life is harsh and unpredictable. Death doesn’t always come in old age it can come at any time. Daas is not from any Sikhi background at all. My younger brother passed when I was 9, that’s what started spiritual curiosity. Religion is a game, spiritually is something different. Maybe life has to be unduly cruel to show you deeper things. 

The purpose of human life was to merge back with Vaheguru. Kulyug, maya, 5 vikaar are absolute snakes which wrapped themselves around people to distract them of that purpose. Bro Vaheguru expressed his love towards you by arranging you meet Satguru ji. Now you gotta take strength and fight. Your strength will come from gurbani, sangat, seva, simran, keertan, katha. Sikhi history will give strength too. 

Guru Sahib Ji loves you so much, he sacrificed his chaar sahibzade for YOU. Focus on your relationship with Guru Sahib Ji. Love him back and trust him.