Sexual Abuse And Opinion

[Guest Harmeet]

Harmeet

Oh My God, have you really been through that? How old are you now? Is this really real? If so please get out of that house and report what has happened to you to the authorities and to the local Sikh Sangat and media right away!

Is there anyone that can help you? Exactly where do you live? If you tell me then maybe I can see what I can do to help.

I have a young daughter, only 3 years old - your story terrifies me.

Please please either reply to this or get in touch with the authorities and report what you have been through - its is WRONG not to report this.

I will monitor this thread for your reply.

Rab Rakha

Manny

You need to leave. Contact your local womens refuge asap. Or if you cant then take your things and go to a police station asap. Like walk out right now. No delay.they will advise. You now are responsible for what hapoens and you need to get out.

If you can you need to get your younger sister out of there too. Or alert the authorities asap.

Whats happened is wrong and abuse at highest level. You need to give a full report to the police and register it. Take a reference number. Then contact the links the sangat hav given, inform them of the reference of the report also send it to united sikhs who may give you legal support when needed.

Priority is that you get out

then your youbger sister.

your mum n brother or anyone else will make their own devisions. If your mum wanted to make the right decision she woundlt hav put you through that. So right now you cant help her and especialy until you havent helped yourself. Once ur in a safe place then get the autborities to help the rest of the family.

If the police arrest your dad you stil need to make sure you dont stay ay home. You need to get out of that space altogether.

Contact the help channels that have been provided!!

I have already pressed charges against him he will not be able to come near me till february and as I said he never let me get on my feet so at the moment I have only got a part time job my mother already knows I will leave before february I know I am safe till then. Me and my younger sister that is his real daughter (I am the only child from the first marriage) have a very good connection she helps me wherever it is possible but he has never even raised a hand on her since that is his own blood all this abuse was only against me and my mother. He treats his children very well I will for sure keep in touch with my siblings but she is only 14 I can not get her out of there. Sorry but i've been emotionally shattered to share this anymore or trust people. I don't want to get into media, I'm only 21 I just want to move on right now get a second job I am moving out in january into another city and will start university september 2016. The last thing I want is to be mentally stressed any further with cases while I'm trying to move on I'm not that strong yet. I finally gathered myself to take this step I had this one friend from highschool that I trust and she is helping me find a place and move on. Looking at his face brings fear and negativity into me I don't wish to see him anymore, I really don't want myself to be put into that situation where I have to go to court and fight. I really just want to move on right now with as much strength I have got so far.

[Guest Jas Singh]

I would seriously recommend that you press charges against your step-dad as he should be locked up, he will continue to attack others if action is not taken

As others have said you should move out ASAP and cut all ties with all your family, including your mother. Best to make a fresh start in a different state/country and keep faith in Vaheguru, who will help get through all this.

[dallysingh101]

Harmeet,

Something very similar happened to a close friend of mine here in UK (she's not Sikh or Panjabi) . She is doing really well now.

I feel for you, and I hope this <banned word filter activated> doesn't lead to you hating your own people.

Sadly predators like this are found everywhere. I'm really proud of your courage to stand up to this and take your own life back.

Well done. All the best to you, and your future. I'm sure you'll go on and do great things! Good luck at uni.

: )

[Guest XYZ]

You will have to seek professional help and the Police must get involved. You must have the courage.

[buddasingh]

You are definitely not doing anything wrong. Do follow up with the offer by the poster above.....thank you MS. The other contacts even outside of your city can likely get you in touch with people locally also. If for any reason that does not work I'm certain we will connect you with good people where you live. Please let us know if you still don't get local support.

When something like this happens the responsibility lies with all of us to deal with it. You are to be commended for

reaching out.

You've already communicated great courage on your part.

In addition, you may not even be aware that you hold so much power over this person and to get past him and the entire ordeal. You may just need a little support to realize that. If necessary you will have the wise support of army of brothers and sisters in your corner. There is no shortage of very capable, sensitive, and intelligent activist Sikhs in that city.

It's our duty to assist. Unless you connect with good support locally please do not leave this thread.

[buddasingh]

I only noticed your most recent post now. You are very wise. This is about you first and not about him. The right people will understand that and also respect your confidentiality and your paths at your pace. If there isn't imminent harm your support should work with your terms.

Please do seek that support. If necessary you can anonymously introduce yourself and ensure your terms will be respected before going further.

It may just mean having a proper confidential support network in place who have your back. This is not a weight you need to or should quietly carry alone.

The organized contacts, and perhaps MS's contacts, will be very familiar with your perspective. Please do make contact. Again, if that does not work let us know.

[Big_Tera]

Hi! I am 21 year old girl and I want to move out from my house. The reasons are my mom had a second marriage and my step-dad (never seen or know anything about my real father) raped me since the age of 7 I was not able to understand till the age of 12 what was happening all I knew was that I didn’t want him to hurt me further. Since my mom did night shifts but when she quit work one day I mustered up the courage to tell her what was happening, around the age of 11. She told me to keep quiet and the same happened again when she returned back to work. But it was worse because since I had told my mom about it and she literally did nothing other than scream at him once. So he continued his abuse openly now and then every week he would kick my mom out of bed and take me from my room and rape me once, twice, or thrice a week as he pleased. My mom would just sleep beside my little sister and watch it all happen in the same room. Somedays it hurt so bad I would get up naked walk in the house and look for ways to kill myself. I am the only child from the first marriage the other two children belong to him even they hate their father for all he has done to me. At the age of 18 when I thought I had hope to go off to university and get far from this horror he didn’t let that happen every time I had an exam in grade 12 he would wake me up and beat me make sure I wouldn’t sleep. I still somehow managed to get a good gpa but he didn’t let that happen. Said there were financial problems so I couldn’t go to university and neither did he let me save up or do any job. I wasn’t allowed to have more than one female friend or even stay after school 5 mins extra for help not allowed to socialize with any family. He isn’t worth calling a monster he has done way more beyond that I was staying in the house so maybe I can could encourage my mom but she isn’t willing to move on. One day it got soo out of hand my brother called the cops while he was beating and I reported him for domestic violence and then he broke that prohibition entered the house and beat my mom with my step-aunt. All this happened just in begining of 2015. I thought this would make my mom realize she isn’t weak she can be independent but all she does is chase him and thinks he will change or has changed I know he hasn’t. He will be able to enter the house in February again all my mother is after is money and what people will say. I cant take these suffocations further I don’t care how he made up fake stories about me wanting to live alone so I can be a <banned word filter activated> that’s what he calls me. I really don’t care if no indian will want to marry me. I just want to have happiness and live a normal life, I know it’ll be hard but I’m willing to work two jobs just to get away from this pain. The only thing is my guilt conscious of leaving my mother but if she doesn’t want help, how can I help her? Knowing she will push me into the same hole. Will God still punish me for leaving my mother or am I too selfish??

Dear Harmeet , Hope you are fine and well.

Firtsly I am absolutely shocked and disgusted at reading what has happened to you. I cannot even contemplate how another human can do this to a child of your age. This person who did this needs to be locked up and punished for what he has done. He has broken the law on numerous accounts. I am not even going to try and understand what has happened to you. you probably need professional counseling and a psychologist to help you with what you have been through. I am fully supportive of you and understand you are the victim. Your mother has been disgraceful in letting this happen to you even after your mustered the courage to let her know what has been going on. I am utterly shocked at how she let this continue even though you told her what was going one. In truth your mother and step father are just as guilty for what you have endured throughout your life. This is not right and if I ever saw your step father I would not be responsible for my actions as I would probably kill him.

Please please go to the Police. Dont worry about your mom or step father. Just explain everything what has happened to you and they will protect you and lock away this animal that is your step father. Dont worry about anything they will protect you. This is not normal and is absolutely appalling. Go to the Police at once to protect yourself from this person before he harms you and others again. You can also PM if you need any support or advice. Dont worry about family consequences. You are the victim here. You have done nothing wrong to deserve this. But im glad now that you have realized what has been going on.

Your step father is a complete and utter sexual predator that deserves to be locked up for the rest of his life. He is worse then an animal.

I am really angry at what has happened to you and wish your step father was infront of me as I would punish him. Please PM me if you need further advice. My main advice is go to the Police at once so your can be protected from this monster. They are trained in how to deal with this. I am from the UK so I dont know about Canadian support groups and networks you can go to. ie telephone numbers. Just google them and get advice as soon as possible. You did right by writing your story here. Now you have to go to the next step and stop any further harm from coming to you and others.

I know you want to move on with your life. That is great but your step father cannot get away with this. He must be reported. He may even track you down in the future and try and harm/kill you so you dont let out what happened to you. You can still go university and carry on with your studies an your new life. But it is essential that you report him at once otherwise he will have gotten away scott free. Please remember this is not normal behavior what has happened to you. No one deserves what you have been through. He needs to be punished for harming a minor and the rape he has committed.

If you dont report him you will not be able to move on with your life. You need justice right now. Forget about what others will think or if you think it will bring you to attention. The main thing is to stop this animal in his tracks. Dont let this guy get way with it. Thats exactly what he wants for you to forget about it, You cannot. You need to be strong and brave and report him before it is to late.

I hope everything works out okay for you.

WJKK WJKF

[Guest YouAreNotAlone]

Harmeet you have been very brave sharing your experience with us. YOU MUST report this to the police and also explain you need protection from him. Remember, if you do not report this, he has an open ticket to put others through what you have been through. This is totally unexceptable. Further, others in your house including your mother need therapy at minimal.

If you do not have the courage to go to the police alone then go with a trusted friend. If you have a close relationship with a doctor or teacher try to get the courage to open up to them also, or direct them to this topic and request they read what you went through if you are unable to speak about it.

You must report this in order to continue with your life. You will be given support by professional services who will help you.

Please report this. I am doing ardas for you.

You are not alone. We are with you.

[Guest You're not alone]

Harmeet get in touch with Manny- message him on here. Please leavs your home, what has happened to you is unbelievably awful and your mother is insane for allowing anything even remotely lie that happen to you. NO-ONE should have to go through what you have gone through,but you can get away and be happy.

Remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are people on here who have said they will help you so contact them and you will never have to see this kind of pain again.

God bless you

[Guest Never alone]

And Harmeet u need to understand that Any mother who lets something like this happen, does NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. So Let her go and help her by telling authorities what hs happened to you so your monster of a step dad can be Locked away for longer.

If anyone deserves to be in jail for a long time, it is him ok. Be brave and report him asap so he has no way of coming home. The first thing though is to Get out of your house now.