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if you already took that extra step together and your amritdhari i dont think parents is the right decison NOW. the only option is the guy i dont see why anyone now would choose the parents especially if you had any respect for them you wouldnt have done that .. but thats doneand now you both are looking at that future so you brought the guy in your life, you cant just leave him now because your parents said no, its TOO LATE for that..

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..and to add to that, SINCE your amritdhari, it is NOT fair to the next amritdhari guy that your parents will bring in for you.. it is not fair to him and his family..

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common dilemma

marry the guy. if it's just a caste issue (hate caste! :wub: ) then they'll eventually come round. thats an observation of other inter caste marriages that i've known of.

if your parents are really stubborn, then get people involved who can mediate

or help settle the dispute. i.e. cousins, friends, elderly folk. same with his family

i still say marry the guy if you care for each that much, otherwise you'll just end up sacrificing your happiness in the long term..

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Guest FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEE

You have to pick the guy, you took hte extra step with him, he made a commitment to u...

you have to stand up to your parents explain why its all good...

caste should never be an issue, if it is, your choosing your parents over guru jis hukam...

its not fair to your future husband if you havce a past...

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You seem really worried espesh with the caste thing. Didn't you think this mattered before hand? i'm sure you knew that your parents would not accept a boy from another caste before you started dating this guy.

At the end of day it is the parents that matter. You should have respected them before hand.If you let your parents down you let yourself down.

An taking that step away from sikhi.That really peevs me off! :wub:

I no now you might be regreting what you did but still.

An if you were to tell this to your parents i think they would agree with you getting married to the bloke but i don't think you would ever be welcome in their house an if the boys parents found this out they would not take you in with open arms.

it's a decision that only you can take as it is you yourself who knows the situation an we can only say what we think whether what we think is right or wrong.

An me being a girl i would not get myself in such a situation as it is more difficult for a girl then a boy.

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lets just say i have committed these sins and i realize now .. i am sorry ..

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I realize that what i had said might have sounded harsh but you shou;d have thought before hand insted of jumping straight in.

But u have realized that you ahve commited these sins but this is you what about the guy. does he have anything to say about these sins?

At the end of the day he is his parents son they aint going to treat him bad.

I know alot of families where their daughter ahs married inot a diff caste an well now they are crying cus of the pain she has given them espesh if the girl was from a jatt family an married into a lower one.

The inlaws treat the girls differently an well some do some bad things. I am not saying that the boys family will be like this but it does have an effect on how they treat you.

At the end of the day a boy can remarry for a girl it is hard espesh if her parents have disoned her.

just be careful.

an if you do wanna talk penji jus send me a message. :TH:

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ok so...

i still dont know what to do.

i need majority to help me. Please give me straight answer. Parents or guy.

Parents meaning i marry that guy and i may or may not tell him because then the whole world will know and my parents may or may not disown me.

Guy, meaning i leave my parents and most of my family will never talk to me, and maybe later we can work on getting everyone back.

which way do i go ...

all boils down to which do u hold greater love for? do u love ur parents more than ur guy? or do u love ur guy more than ur parents? alot of gals have bin in this situation, trus me i no more bout this kinda thing than u think!!! only u can answer this question, no-one here on this site or anywhere else can tel u wat ONLY YOU know and feel.

wateva u do, someone is gna get hurt, if u choose ur guy, ul get hurt cos ur family wil get hurt n u say they wil disown u. if u choose ur parents, u n ur guy wil get hurt.

therz no easy option here. personally, i no wat i wud choose, because i feel that it is the right thing to do, but it is not my choice, itz urz, so u knowing wat ppl on this site would do, is of no consequence.

once u have made ur decision, dnt eva look back and dnt even think about having regrets. this is the only way that ul b content. thts the only piece of advice i feel i can give u.

i wish u all the best.

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