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[Pheena]

Some really good answers. Palvinder, dont worry, u r with the right people (on this forum). Best is to do ardas, and kaam maaran waale shabad (helped me): http://www.mkhalsa.com/lit/fightingkaam.html

all the best  :TH:

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I read the link you just posted veer, i was just shocked at the first paragraph in his waysof dealing with Kaam is thru Guilt Trips, inducing fear and hatred, creating a superiority complex. Perhaps it works for some, but overall i think this probably is the worst way of dealing with sexual desire.

[anjaan]

really good advice above :wub:

another thing you could try like practically is wear a Kara on each wrist....one of my male friends told me the reason he does this is so if ever he is tending to do something he thinks twice beacuse his Kara reminds him that they are Guru ji's hands

[N30S1NGH]

First of all stop condeming yourself to hell.  Second relieve yourself of the guilt.  Third take responsibility that you seek to change your ways. 

"God helps those who help themselves"

Now understand your kaam thru giaan, thru wisdom of what sexuality is in its true form.  Be aware that you are seeking the pleasures of the flesh and bones.  Sant Singh ji Maskeen said once in a book, that "Sex is a part of the body not the mind." 

In my undesrtanding so far is that When it becomes a part of the mind it is Sexuality. Which is Kaam. Sex is the natural course of reproduction, But Sexuality is a manifestation of Sex fueled by desire. Desire to experience the feeling of orgasm, of the other genders touch, smell, taste.... Desire then later manifests itself into Fantasy. When Fantasy is born, the mind is fully desiring the satisfaction of Sexual energy that itself has arisen. So the Mind itself creates teh Energy thru Fantasy then it wants to release the energy that it build up. So when did it ask YOU for permission? You simply fell under the spell of the mind following along thinking the mind knows what it is doing.

When one sees a girl walking, the first desire is to posses the flesh for your personal gratification.  The ego boosts because of consuming the desire for flesh, the satisfaction that you were able to posses it,  it even is a power struggle to be able to posses the flesh of another and consume it sexually for its own selfish purpose.  You must understand the difference between Sexuality and Sex.  Do not go into repressing this energy for it will only cause it to grow stronger. 

What you need to realize is that the energy that arises when one is sexually aroused is unbiased, it is not Sexual in nature, it is neutral.  it is we thru the power of thought that we direct this energy to our sexual organ.    This energy is released thru our orgasm and thus the intense experience one feels.  For some it can even become a spiritual in nature, but i won't get into that here. 

Other have given great advice, do simran, do meditation it will divert this energy into better use.  But along with simran you must also seek wisdom of what sexuality is.  You must try to understand its source of why it arises.  What purpose will it serve me after i have satisfied this urge of sex?  Where will you be after you have consumed the desire? Will the desire vanish or will it arise again and again?  In the end it is the desire that is the problem, not sexuality, your desire is the root cause for this sexuality.  The sexuality is simply the manifestation of your desire in a different form.  For some this desire manifests in greed of materials or of wealth or for power. 

What you seek is Anand, bliss, but we look for it in the wrong place.  i wrote this in a response to another post on another forum, i think you might find it useful.

I don't think sex is a bad thing, i said Sexuality is the problem.  If Sex becomes your Desire, or it becomes your Want, or it becomes your Need. Sooner your thoughts will become Sexual in nature. Sexuality will be visible in your everyday life. For Sex you need a Partner. If you want to have Sex and that Partner is not Available? What then, Frustration? Anger? Those emotions signal the attachment one has with sex. The question is Why does one Desire, Want or Need Sex? Is it just the Satisfaction of the Desire to have Sex? After one has Sex what has he acheived? After Satisfying the Desire to have sex has the Desire been fullfilled? If it has been fullfilled for it to never rise again, then having Sex has become your liberation of the Desire. Then you can look at another Woman or Man without being Sexual, you can look at the Beauty of a Woman or a Man without Perversion. Satisfying the Desire, the Mind has the mind Received Satisfaction? Can the Mind receive Satisfaction? We have been having sex for countless lifetimes and yet again we stand at the same door step of the same desire. Has it been Fullfilled?

Wisdom my dear friend is your solution to this along with meditation ofcourse.

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great advice brother.

[Pheena]

wjkk wjkf...thanks to the sangat..its really  nice to see sanagt helping me out..well the problem is..im not into havin sex with anyone..my main prob  is...i take jerking as an adicted kind of activiti...tht was once a part of my life...i dnt know if im right or wrong..but im trying my best..nn ill be askin peshi in november in tat khalsa gurdwara,kuala lumpur...i think i need to ask peshi..then my mind will be set tht im an amritdhari again...this is my pro...jerking..nothing else..i dnt have urge to have sex with any one...by the way...i would thank the sanagt alot..for helping me out....its a kirpa to see sanagt helping me out...wjkk wjkf!

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hmm i guess i was way off on what you had asked...my apologies...so then What is the reason behind your need to masterbate? Is it not Sexuality? The sensation is surely inticing. Ask yourself what is it that i am lacking that this need is there for me to masterbate?