How Dare U Speak Nindha!

[Kharkoo4Life]

One thing that ive noticed being said over and over again, in almost every thread regardless of the thread topic, is the mention that we shouldn't do nindha (slander). Whenever someone makes a comment which is critical of somone or points to someones mistakes its seems theres an instant tendency to use the defense of 'no nindha please.' But have we ever paused to think what nindha actually means? No doubt, mention of this word is made repeatedly in Gurbani but what is the Guru referring to when he tells us to refrain from nindha?

I am sure many of you are familiar with countless pungtees from gurbani making mention of the fact that a Sikh should always refrain from nindha. As an example,

inMdw krdw pic muAw ivic dyhI BKY ]

Slandering others, he wastes away and dies; within his body, he burns

No one will disagree that doing nindha of anyone, regardless of how high or low their spiritual state is wrong. Not only does it cause hurt and inflict pain on the person you're saying it to, it also gives birth to equally negative effects on the person doing the nindha as well. Nindha stems forth in one's mind when there is such a strong level of disagreement, opposition,or disapproval of the other person that the person loses control of their emotions. His mind fills with frustration and anger and is ulitmately vented in the form of verbal slander, or nindha, towards the other. This anger becomes a cancerous growth in ones mind and leads to his own destruction.

inMdw kir kir bhu Bwru auTwvY ibnu mjUrI Bwru phucwvixAw ]4]

By continually slandering others, they carry a terrible load, and they carry the loads of others for nothing.

pr inMdw pr mlu muK suDI Agin k®oDu cMfwlu ]

Slandering others is putting the filth of others into your own mouth. The fire of anger is the outcaste who burns dead bodies at the crematorium.

So yes nindha is bad and should always be avoided, this no one will disagree with. But what exactly is nindha? Most of us will quickly answer that nindha is when you say something bad about someone. When you keep criticizing them, pointing out their mistakes, saying they're wrong, etc. This is only partially true. To help us get a greater understanding let us look at a reference to nindha made in sukhmani sahib,

imiQAw sRvn pr inMdw sunih ]

False are the ears which listen to the slander of others

The key word in this line is mithaya, or false. But how can our ears be called false? They're a part of our body, something that is real, that we can see, and touch. So why is the Guru calling the ears false? They are called false because of what we are using them for. In other words, we are using them for the practice of falehood, lies and thus these ears become 'false' as well.

kUVu kmwvY kUVu aucrY kUiV ligAw kUVu hoie ]

They practice falsehood and they speak falsehood; attached to falsehood, they become false.

When our mind is practicing falsehoods and not attached to the Truth, then regardless of what actions we perfom, be it talking, listening, sewa, even doing paath, they all become false and meaningless.

so JUTw jo JUTy lwgY JUTy krm kmweI ]

One who is attached to falsehood is false; false are the deeds he does.

Now the 2nd point to consider from the above line is that mithaya and nindha are mentioned in the same line and as stated by the other two lines above, only when something is attached to and practicing falsehood can we call it false. Hence, if ears are used to listen to nindha and become false, then nindha itself must be false. Therefore we cant label something simply because what is being said by someone consits of calling someone's actions wrong, bad, there has to also be an element of falsehood to what is being said by that person. So how do we know that? Consider the example of Guru Nanak himself:

If we create some rumour, gossip or false story about someone to degrade them and belittle their name that is what is referred to as nindha. To openly speak the truth is never nindha. During the oppressive regime of Babar, Guru Nanak openly called him a tyrant to his face. No one can deny that Guru Nanak was being critical and calling Babar’s actions wrong and bad but does this imply that Guru Nanak was doing nindha of Babar? Guru Ji never fell victim to taking pity on Babar. He was never afraid nor hesitated to speak the truth to Babar therefore his actions can never be called doing nindha. Rather:

sc kI bwxI nwnku AwKY scu suxwiesI sc kI bylw ]2]3]5]

Nanak speaks the Word of Truth; he proclaims the Truth at this, the right time.

To speak the truth openly and at all times is never nindha. But when one tells lies or criticizes someone with the intent to defame, insult or harm them that is always known as nindha.

Nindha is the practice of falsehood, and that is why the Guru repeatedly tells us to abstain from doing anyones nindha:

myry mn qij inMdw haumY AhMkwru ]

O my mind, give up slander, egotism and arrogance.

However, before quickly jump to the opposite side of the fence and say that instead of doing nidha, we should always talk good and praise others, the Guru has a stern warning:

AkQ kQw vIcwr kY ausqq inµdw vrj rhwey]

The Sikhs ponder on the words of the Ineffable, and abstain from praise and blame.

At first glance this may seem odd. Its understandable what we shudnt talk nindha, always saying oh that person did this or that, or that action of that person was completely wrong and he shud behave like this instead (unless of course as above, we are speaking the Truth), but why shud we refarin from praise. We always hear recounts and stories of how so and so did soooo much parchar, or blessed so many thousands of people with the dhaat of Amrit, helped so many people get off drugs and alcohol etc., so why is the Guru telling us that we shudnt speak even like that? How is that wrong and against Sikhi?

Because the two are intertwined. When we do nindha of someone, we are doing it to defame them, belittle them in other peoples eyes and by doing so make ourselves or someone else appear better. In the same way when we praise someone, we are making that person seem more great and wonderous than another. In both cases there is a comparison, with the end result that one is better than the other.

In addition there are those who speak praise of others only cuz they wanna gain somethin in return. To get on someone's good side, that if i speak and say nice things bout that person, i'll be rewarded. Be it in the form of wealth, increased respect and social status, or even to the extent that he'll give his bakshashk to me which will help me get closer to God and be my salvation. Thus the praise too is false:

inMdw icMdw krih prweI JUTI lwieqbwrI ]

You slander, and then praise others; you indulge in lies and gossip.

Regardless of why we praise someone, be it out of respect and admiration as in the first example or out of some alterior selfish gain as in the 2nd example, both are false, and wrong and shud be avoided. And the Guru is telling us exactly this!

ausqiq inMdw doaU iqAwgY KojY pdu inrbwnw ]

Renounce both praise and blame; seek instead the state of Nirvaanaa.

jn nwnk iehu Kylu kTnu hY iknhUM gurmuiK jwnw ]2]1]

O servant Nanak, this is such a difficult game; only a few Gurmukhs understand it!

Realizing such fine intricacies of human nature and being able to control them is extremely hard. That is why so few are ever able to reach that high state of brahm gyani. But there is a way, only one way and that is by reading, understanding and following the teachings of gurbani:

ausqiq inMdw guir sm jwxweI iesu jug mih lwhw hir jip lY jwie ]1]

The Guru has inspired me to realize, that praise and slander are one and the same; in this world, the profit is obtained by chanting the Name of the Lord.

Understanding the message of our Guru is the key to finding tru happiness, cuz having, bowing and listening to the Guru is not enuff. The guru alone cannot do anythin unless we are willin to listen AND UNDERSTAND, then follow what he is telling us. If we dont understand gurbani, and instead get caught up with our own personal views, practices and daily efforts which we feel or have been taught by others will bring us closer to God then the end result of all of that will be only one thing:

ibnu bUJy imiQAw sB Bey ]

Without understanding, everything is false.

Our lives will become completely false. And no matter how much we debate, argue, or listen to others, nothig in our lives will ever change.

So let us take the time to read and understand gurbani, and make that the basis for everythin in our life.

[humble_kaur]

Fateh Ji,

I agree with what Kharkoo Ji wrote.

The Gurus confronted many people in their lives that offered nothing but nindha/slander. They confronted many abusive attacks on their character and good name. They listened to falsely spoken words from many, that had the intention to damage their reputation, but could not.

I read a beautiful shabad by Bhagat Kabir Ji that I would like to share with you:

gauVI ]

inMdau inMdau mo kau logu inMdau ]

Slander me, slander me - go ahead, people, and slander me.

inMdw jn kau KrI ipAwrI ]

Slander is pleasing to the Lord's humble servant.

inMdw bwpu inMdw mhqwrI ]1] rhwau ]

Slander is my father, slander is my mother. ||1||Pause||

inMdw hoie q bYkuMiT jweIAY ]

If I am slandered, I go to heaven;

nwmu pdwrQu mnih bsweIAY ]

the wealth of the Naam, the Name of the Lord, abides within my mind.

irdY suD jau inMdw hoie ]

If my heart is pure, and I am slandered,

hmry kpry inMdku Doie ]1]

then the slanderer washes my clothes. ||1||

inMdw krY su hmrw mIqu ]

One who slanders me is my friend;

inMdk mwih hmwrw cIqu ]

the slanderer is in my thoughts.

inMdku so jo inMdw horY ]

The slanderer is the one who prevents me from being slandered.

hmrw jIvnu inMdku lorY ]2]

The slanderer wishes me long life. ||2||

inMdw hmrI pRym ipAwru ]

I have love and affection for the slanderer.

inMdw hmrw krY auDwru ]

Slander is my salvation.

jn kbIr kau inMdw swru ]

Slander is the best thing for servant Kabeer.

inMdku fUbw hm auqry pwir ]3]20]71]

The slanderer is drowned, while I am carried across. ||3||20||71||

THE TRUTH ALWAYS TAKES YOU IN THE RIGHT PATH. BELIEVE.

[Heera Singh]

yes... we see way too much slander these dayz... and i's sad because sikhs slander other sikhs... which really sux.. i guess its up to us as youth to change that... i'm seeing more and more love between the youth... all these youth darbars, camps etc... we're all guilty of slander in one way or another... we gotta stick together n help eachother... i's all bout love !

[Khalsa_Girl_1]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa. Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

youre right ji.

not a lot of people know what nindha actually means. and thank-you for sharing this shabad to explain.

i actually found that there is A LOT of nindha between punjabi poeple..or maybe its just me ....i dont know...but i think that punjabi people wont ever stop at doin other people's nindhas. they even takl about there own family and friends! :doh: :doh: ...thats just wrong.

no offence to anyone Sangat ji.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa. Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

[navdeep kaur]

before talking of any other i must admit that i too am guilty of this sin...guru ji kirpa karn.........moorakh de avgun bakhsh devan

[SSM]

double post

[SSM]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa. Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

youre right ji.

not a lot of people know what nindha actually means. and thank-you for sharing this shabad to explain.

i actually found that there is A LOT of nindha between punjabi poeple..or maybe its just me ....i dont know...but i think that punjabi people wont ever stop at doin other people's nindhas. they even takl about there own family and friends! :doh:   :doh:   ...thats just wrong.

no offence to anyone Sangat ji.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa. Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

121823[/snapback]

maybe its another irrelevant post but il say it- lol i read the sikh n'ppr today and there was an article on some case law in pakistan that says u cant rely on the statement of a dying PUNJABI guy cos punjbis got a habit of lying or exaggerating, made by the goras i think in 1935 or sometime.

I was offended but I saw their point, soz if i offended any punjabi out there

But on a more serious note, nindha keeps the punjabis going, its how they survive.