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Guest A Mother

Waheguru Ji

I have a son who is in middle school and I believe is experiencing bullying. He drops hints here and there to me but does not really open up and talk about what difficulty he is facing grin.gif . He seriously dislikes school. I've asked him to write to this forum because, from what I've read, I think there are a lot of really cool and wise members here :TH: ---but he refuses. So, I've decided to post myself and find out if there is anything you all would suggest that I as a mother do to help him in this situation or if any of you have been in similar situation and how you handled it.

Many thanks and bundles of love.

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Vaheguroo jee kaa khalsa vaheguroo jee kee fateh

auntie jee why is he gettin bullied? does he tie patka/dastar...

I had that when i was a weee boy... i hit back... and it stopped.. maybe if he makes friends with older singhs who are wiser and have ben through it he cuold talk about it and get advise. most of us go through it, you MUST fight it and not give in. Do ardaas and never forget Guroo Anng Sang.

Vaheguroo jee ka khalsa vaheguroo jee kee fateh

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Bhenji

please try one of the following :-

The 'Sikh Helpline' is a confidential telephone counselling and email inquiry service where you can get help and obtain information on Sikhism and cultural issues. It is run by trained people who are conversant in both English and Punjabi. Young Sikhs contact the Helpline about a wide range of issues - especially, but not isolated to, those mentioned in section A below :

A) SCHOOL & OTHER ISSUES

Issues regarding Sikhism (5 K's)

Bullying and Racism

Depression

Abuse

Addictions (smoking / drinking)

Problems at school

Problems at home

www.sikhhelpline.com

http://www.dfes.gov.uk/bullying/parentsandindex.shtml

www.bullying.co.uk

www.scre.ac.uk/bully

www.childline.org.uk/Bullying.asp

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Seriously phaenjee.. if i was in the place of your kid, i would never tell stuff like getting bullied in school to my mum. Not that i don't like my mom but its just the nature or maybe a fear which prevents kids to be more open in such cases. I am pretty much sure that the kid will only tell to their mom if she acts cool in their style. Another way for them to be open .. if one only act like their friend/peer but not as a authority figure. Another thing that i always hate when i was kid is that when i tell my elders about anything then they will say.. why didn't you told me earlier, why didnt you went to teacher blah blah.. I would strongly suggest that if your kids tell you about the problems, don't react in front of him/her.. Take it and think and then take action :)

Hope you get this issue solved soon.. May waheguru be with you phaenjee !

Chardi kala

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yes, rsingh, my son does wear a patka.

Thank you all so much, these suggestions help *a lot*. I wanted to get an idea of his perspective, the comments give me a heads up on what to expect in addition to how to possibily handle it.

Waheguru

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Usually kids dont wonna tell their folks that they getting bullied at school because they fear their parents will be made fun off or become the target of abuse by the bullies.

Best thing to do penji is to tell your son openly that he should not be afraid to defend himself and not to be weak. Tell him to take up martial arts classes, which should give him strength and confidence.

If he has a problem at school make sure you will back him 100% no matter what...

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I used to be scared that my dad will take it too far and go to the headteacher.. no.gif i hated atention because I knew all the teachers will do is ask "are you ok now?" every 2 days!

so i just let it happen to me.. Dont let it happen to your son!

SO basically, don;t over react when your son tells you.. Don't Nag him either to tell you..

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Vaheguru is Angg Sangg all the time so dont worry :)

Some times experience is the best teacher but you need strength for that... it depends of the individual character of kids.

try and let them fight for themselves,but if not, the most you can do is change his school and make him freinds with more Apnay kids.

This reminds me of facing racism in elementary school . I was so scared to tell my parents coz mom would actually come to school and tell the teachers that these kids used to pull my hair... I had a long Goot, so it actually made it worse for me coz whenever mom left school after complaining, the kids used to bully me even more saying, hahaha" are you gonna tell your mom now if i pull your hair harder?"

but eventually Guru jee helped me and I actually became strong and made freinds the bullies so they stopped.

VJKK! VJKF!!

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