Multi-cultural Sikhi & Multi-cultural Amritdaris

[jagjit_waheguru]

waheguru ji ka khalsa wahguru ji ke fateh

Pyare jio, this is linked to the white/sikh couple thread, but as it slightly out of topic I have started a new thread.

An amritdhari can only marry an amritdhari, we all accept this. What non-amritdharries do is purely their chioce, and as such the world spins in Maya.

But often many punjabi sikhs, say only sikhs can marry sikhs, but when they actually mean behind the spin is only punjabis can marry punjabis. They think this is because punjabies can preserve thier culture.

Let me share a story, that I saw. In slough, there is a nice elderly bibi who does langar de seva day in day out as happens in most gurdwaras. She had two sons. The eldest son married a young black lady. The bibi was very upset. As a gut reaction she took her younger son to India and got him married to a punjabi girl.

This is a common scenario, and how many punjabis react.

However time can be the true test of the person. Over time the young black lady started wearing a salwar kameez and attending the Gurdwara. The punjabi girl started wearing jeans, cut her hair and did not attend the Gurdwara. She choose to be a so-called "modern punjabi".

The young black lady had 3 kids, all of who kept their kesh. This is when I met these kids at the big Slough gurdwara summer camps in the old days when Gursikhs actually ran Slough gurdwara. The two boys were half-cast, but had kesh tied in a top-knot. They would get bullied and picked upon by all the other punjabi kids, who used to say they are not real sikhs. This is how cruel kids can be. Especially as these kids picking on them were monas. Anyways we sorted this situation out at the camp.

Now a few years later, I meet these kids at the Slough teenager workshops. They still have thier kesh and their mom ritually brings them to all sikhi events. Waheguru knows what happens to the punjabi wife of the younger son.

The reason I write this is because, we automatically assume only punjabis will preserve our lifestyle or sikhi. The reality it is punjabis who are taking kids away from sikhi in many cases, giving them Christian names, and western lifestyles, or very strange and wierd punjabi traits such as caste, blind worship and ritualism.

Other religions and cultures invite people into them and ask them to adopt their practices. Especailly true in terms of Islam. Sikhs usually push people who wish to learn or adopt sikhi or some just punjabism, away.

For strict sikhs, i.e. Amritdharries, we are only allowed to marry amritdhaaries. This does not mean just punjabi ones. The family of the Khalsa today is blessed with many non-punjbai Amritdharries. They are no worse or better than punjabi ones. What is important is that both have love for Guru and share a common rehit and perspective on life. Only then a marriage is succesful and as per Gurmat.

For punjabis, you may think the story above is a one -off. You may say that getting girls from india gives you more chance of perserving cultural identity. But we must be mature enough to realise that each person is an indivdual. If you have pyaar and truth in your understanding, rather than predjudice, you can encourage people in the right manner. However their is no guarantee in anyone, and no magic formula. But sometimes, it is punjbais who push our kids more away from sikhi, than anyone else.

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguruji kefateh

[randip singh]

waheguru ji ka khalsa wahguru ji ke fateh

Pyare jio, this is linked to the white/sikh couple thread, but as it slightly out of topic I have started a new thread.

An amritdhari can only marry an amritdhari, we all accept this. What non-amritdharries do is purely their chioce, and as such the world spins in Maya.

But often many punjabi sikhs, say only sikhs can marry sikhs, but when they actually mean behind the spin is only punjabis can marry punjabis.  They think this is because punjabies can preserve thier culture.

Let me share a story, that I saw. In slough, there is a nice elderly bibi who does langar de seva day in day out as happens in most gurdwaras.  She had two sons. The eldest son married a young black lady. The bibi was very upset. As a gut reaction she took her younger son to India and got him married to a punjabi girl.

This is a common scenario, and how many punjabis react.

However time can be the true test of the person. Over time the young black lady started wearing a salwar kameez and attending the Gurdwara. The punjabi girl started wearing jeans, cut her hair and did not attend the Gurdwara. She choose to be a so-called "modern punjabi".

The young black lady had 3 kids, all of who kept their kesh. This is when I met these kids at the big Slough gurdwara summer camps in the old days when Gursikhs actually ran Slough gurdwara. The two boys were half-cast, but had kesh tied in a top-knot. They would get bullied and picked upon by all the other punjabi kids, who used to say they are not real sikhs. This is how cruel kids can be. Especially as these kids picking on them were monas. Anyways we sorted this situation out at the camp.

Now a few years later, I meet these kids at the Slough teenager workshops. They still have thier kesh and their mom ritually brings them to all sikhi events. Waheguru knows what happens to the punjabi wife of the younger son.

The reason I write this is because, we automatically assume only punjabis will preserve our lifestyle or sikhi. The reality it is punjabis who are taking kids away from sikhi in many cases, giving them Christian names, and western lifestyles, or very strange and wierd punjabi traits such as caste, blind worship and ritualism.

Other religions and cultures invite people into them and ask them to adopt their practices. Especailly true in terms of Islam. Sikhs usually push people who wish to learn or adopt sikhi or some just punjabism, away.

For strict sikhs, i.e. Amritdharries, we are only allowed to marry amritdhaaries. This does not mean just punjabi ones. The family of the Khalsa today is blessed with many non-punjbai Amritdharries. They are no worse or better than punjabi ones. What is important is that both have love for Guru and share a common rehit and perspective on life. Only then a marriage is succesful and as per Gurmat.

For punjabis, you may think the story above is a one -off. You may say that getting girls from india gives you more chance of perserving cultural identity. But we must be mature enough to realise that each person is an indivdual. If you have pyaar and truth in your understanding, rather than predjudice, you can encourage people in the right manner. However their is no guarantee in anyone, and no magic formula. But sometimes, it is punjbais who push our kids more away from sikhi, than anyone else.

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguruji kefateh

146584[/snapback]

Nice story!

Out of interest, where does it state and Amritdhari must marry an Amritdhari. I know one who is married to an Irish lady(who still follows her own religion.).

[jagjit_waheguru]

waheguru ji kekhalsa, waheguru ji ke fateh

Pyare jio, veer ji,

1. it is Hukam by the Punj Pyares.

2. If i remember correctly, it is also in the Sikh Rehit Maryada.

waheguru ji kekhalsa, waheguru ji ke fateh

[crayzy]

<<This does not mean just punjabi ones.>>

Good post

i dont really give a damn about my 'culture' that says i should marry only a jat, that says mixed race marriages are bad, that says its ok to drink alcohol and eat meat once in a while.

[mann_kaum_layee_qurbaan]

good post brother...

[buddasingh]

Beautiful post and nicely said.

There is so much racism and so much racism that is tolerated amongst punjabis. When we hear a punjabi, esp. one who identifies themselves as sikh, say something racist or sexist, we should speak up. Communicate that it is unacceptable, otherwise we become part of the problem.

[simmal tree]

thank you for the great post veerjee

randip singh veerjee, the sikh rehit maryada says that a gursikh should marry a gursikh.