In Despair

[Knight Singh]

Phenji I understand your despair..cutting hair is bajjar khuret..true...

.some people believe even having your hair cut for medical reasons is incorrect.

i think you should do an aardas take a hukamnama and look up the meaning on www.gurugranthdarpan.com ..maharaj has a solution for you..all you have to do is to ask him..

a job of a sikh is not to jap naam 24 hours a day only..thats only part of his/her job..i hope you do understand that..

to the person who posted the last post..

..some people have the cheek to say "slack" panj pyare...just cause some one does not practise sikhism the way..with the staunchness you do ..does not make you a better sikh than you or him/her a bad sikh..

you are quoting gurbani..do u know you are NOT supposed to lift lines from bani..you are to read the entire shabad/sloak and look at the meaning.... http://singhangad.blogspot.com/2005_08_01_...ad_archive.html read the post..hook line and sinker and you will know..

guru ang sang!

[taboo]

if i have offended anyone, im really sorry.

in the original post, i felt like the sister was asking for an practical answer rather than a religious one so i gave my opinion.

the reply came straight from my heart as one female to another.

like i said, sometimes our happiness is in our own hands. we can either stay depressed or do something about it.

and no waxing does not make it worse, my friends mother started experiencing facial hair upon reaching menopause. once waxed it lasts for 6 to 8 weeks and then u will have to do it again. in due time hair regrowth is reduced.

( i know, i know, before you guys start going off , its the ultimate sin to remove hair i know. just answering someones question)

like i said before no offense to anybody.

[Guest Guest]

As a female I am amazed at the strength and courage you have had so far. Persoanlly, you need to look at how bad the situation is. Yours is bad, straight up. You need to ask yourself is if you want Religion running your life. When do you draw the line? Its totally personal. Again, this situation obviously hits so many parts of your life. I myself, did electrolysis when i was a preteen b/c i had really bad facial hair as well. I never took amrit or consider myself religious. However, I think that if you really feel depressed to the fact that its controlling your life in more than 1 way, I think you need to make a change. Its unhealthy and depression is a serious mental illness. It can trap you and it will hurt you. I am pretty sure you will feel sadden if you remove your hair. But the fact that you posted this means that you most likely have thought of this many times and are really confused to what to do. If I was in your situation I would remove my facial hair permanelty. God forgives us and I am pretty sure our body is not connected to our soul. Personally, I don't let culture and society run my life. But you interact with society and culture everyday. I hope your choice is a good one. And again this is my point of view. You have no idea what it feels like to be her... I have no idea what it feels, but i know in school when i did have facial hair I was extremely shy and had few close friends. Once i got rid of it i opened up and became really social. ITs self confidence. Its superficial but it affects as as HUMANS in society. Religiously its not excepted but personally, your situation is unique and i am sure know one should be controlled by depression. Find courage and make friends, many people don't just look at the cover. They are great people to talk to when you feel low about your appearance.

[Guest guest]

i have a question for all the guys out there, how many of u are actually willing to marry a amritdhari bibi who has facial hair?

[Guest *]

Bhain Jee, you're so brave for writing this all. Honest to goodness, your story is so completely a perfect description of ME that it freaked me out just reading it. It’s good to know I’m not alone, and you’re not alone either.

25 is a tough age, eh? You're expected to have a job by now, but it seems like you're lacking the only qualification that seems to count -- looks. Everyone expects you to be married by now too, but what can you do? Anyone who feigns an interest runs away the first chance they get. You're obviously more intelligent than the average Sikh woman (a Masters degree!). You've obviously got more pyaar for Sikhi than the average Sikh woman (I can almost state that as a fact because in today's world, there's hardly anything that could prove your love for Sikhi more than living in this world with facial hair....Guru Sahib could take my head and it would be 100000 times easier than having to live here with this face). So you've clearly got the brains and the brawn, the smarts and the spirits...so what's the problem here??

I frankly don't know.

I know the solution though. You've probably heard it all before, but please hear it again because it's all we've got. We who? You, me, all of us stuck in this same boat.

The solution is Naam Baani. I don't know where that'll get us in the here and now (ie. if it'll give us the "material" gains we seek...job, husband, etc.), but in the long-run, it'll have to lead somewhere good. Guru Sahib wouldn't, couldn't let us suffer like this for nothing. If this is a test, we're passing...if it's a game, we're winning. There has to be something spectacular at the end, we just have to keep our eyes on the prize and believe that the prize is staying in the feet of Guru Sahib, staying in his bhaana, doing whatever it takes to please him and being pleased BY him, no matter how tough he gets on us and no matter how much longer these tests/games last.

Don't let depression get hold of you. It'll take you somewhere you definately don't want to go. It won't make anything better. It won't make the hair go away and it won't make people like you, nor will it procure you a husband or a job. Naam and Baani can do all this, it's a fact. We've just got to stick with it. Sangat can help, but this can be a tough one too if there’s people in your particular sangat who hurt you and you’d rather not see.

Marriage is a tricky one. You shouldn't assume that every potential from India will have alterior motives (getting Western citizenship). Singhs that are already here play worse games than that. We hear of the few cases every year where the guy fom India was a scum and married just for citizenship, but don’t forget the thousands upon thousands that marry and live happily ever after. You could always give it a chance...if nothing is gained, so be it. On the other hand, don’t pour your heart and soul into it either so that you don’t lose anything while you’re not gaining anything either.

One idea which may seem WAY out there to you, but what's the big deal with marriage anyways? It's an expectation, but if no one will marry us, why does that kill us so much? Why should our happiness depend so heavily on another person? Why do we believe that all we need is a marriage and from there, life will be complete? Sure, marriage is important for a Sikh, but if it doesn’t happen, so be it. You may end up miserable in a marriage but will just BEING married make it better than remaining happily single for life? I don’t know.

Despite everything we go through, inside myself, I know I could never turn away from Sikhi. I could never sell my soul for the smile of a few manmukhs who may think I look better with a face like theirs rather than the one Guru Sahib gave me. If I think THIS life has been difficult, if I cheat and turn bemukh, what kind of difficulties will lie ahead in order for me to pay off the sin of doing beadbi of my kes? If I’ve led a relatively sin-free life now and have repented for my mistakes and STILL I have to face such endless difficulty, how much worse will my next life be if I betray my Guru? If we cop-out NOW, all that we've come through would be for nothing. If we sell out now, why didn't we just save ourselves the trouble and sell out on day one? We've hung in there for a reason. Don't give up now.

Please let me know your thoughts.

[Guest In Despair]

thank you so much for the replies Sangat ji, for now i feel more content

[WGJKKWGJKF]

WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA WAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

Im proud of you sister, shows how much you love God and Sikhi.

And Sister dont be depressed, as Gurbani says, what have you got to worry about if Gods with you!

There is one thing i can try to advise you:

Which is i saw a programme before about a white women having the same problem with loads of facial hair, it was because one of hormones or something like that was producing to much of the certain thing, which made the hair growth more.

Maybe you could go to the doctor to see if it was actually natural, or is it because of this hormone which might be able to be controlled.

Please forgive me if i said anything wrong.

WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA WAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

[Guest Meeeeeeeeee]

As a female I am amazed at the strength and courage you have had so far. Persoanlly, you need to look at how bad the situation is. Yours is bad, straight up. You need to ask yourself is if you want Religion running your life. When do you draw the line? Its totally personal. Again, this situation obviously hits so many parts of your life. I myself, did electrolysis when i was a preteen b/c i had really bad facial hair as well. I never took amrit or consider myself religious. However, I think that if you really feel depressed to the fact that its controlling your life in more than 1 way, I think you need to make a change. Its unhealthy and depression is a serious mental illness. It can trap you and it will hurt you. I am pretty sure you will feel sadden if you remove your hair. But the fact that you posted this means that you most likely have thought of this many times and are really confused to what to do. If I was in your situation I would remove my facial hair permanelty. God forgives us and I am pretty sure our body is not connected to our soul. Personally, I don't let culture and society run my life. But you interact with society and culture everyday. I hope your choice is a good one. And again this is my point of view. You have no idea what it feels like to be her... I have no idea what it feels, but i know in school when i did have facial hair I was extremely shy and had few close friends. Once i got rid of it i opened up and became really social. ITs self confidence. Its superficial but it affects as as HUMANS in society. Religiously its not excepted but personally, your situation is unique and i am sure know one should be controlled by depression. Find courage and make friends, many people don't just look at the cover. They are great people to talk to when you feel low about your appearance.

147543[/snapback]

Somewhere in this post of yours...you say "I don't let culture and society run my life"

...but you cut your hair in order to fit into society...so why are you going both ways? You are saying two opposite things...and since you have not taken Amrit yourself, why are you giving an Amritdhari Women advice on cutting her hair?

You may think, "people don't understand what its like to have facial hair"...but let me ask you something...do you know what it feels like to have given your head to Guru Ji, and then cutting your hair?

[proud_to_be_singhni]

Gurfateh sister...

I've been so busy with exam revision and noticed this topic first...and may have something to share with you.

Sister I've got a few hairs here and there and true say all girls with distaars get mistaken for guys...I used to even think they were guys before I started wearing my distaar.

I've got a really long hair on my chin, a moustach shape can be seen and the most hugest eyebrows..I havent seen on any bibi...LOLLLLLL. Me and my brothers jokes that Guru ji got the biggest black marker pen and made mines... ...

Bhenjee you say people laugh at you..WHY NOT just laugh at yourself sometimes...I do! It may be weird but at least that way I wont get depressed. At uni people when they come near see my one long hair and dont say anyhting..Why? cause I am popular with everyone because of my attitude of laughing at everything..they seee my personality before they see me and then put up with my look cause they hooked on my personality....

Hope you gets me!

Please PM me whenever and we'll talk things over....but maybe I may not have alota religious type advice I'm abit ..lollllllll

Marriage..Penji Ive given up tryina please others..the first one I was introduced to a year ago had a problem with my hairy big toe..LOLLLLL! and the one I was set to marry I aint guna because we have major differences in spiritual areas and I think I made a wrong decision by selecting him...Penji we all single and proud and im 26!!!! maannnnn. Guru ji has made our risthe all ready..I do wonder when Guru ji'l introduce me my mr right! don't worry he'll there somewhere..lots of my friends with facial hair ARE happily married...one penji had lots of facial hair and her husband adores her..they always look soo happy together..vahegurooo.

BTW....

Heres a picture of yours truly looking beautiful...(no ahankaar intended..lolll)

The moustache shape IS there but camrera lights can do wonders...lollll and the hair on chin is on the other side...I used to thread my moustache area like majority of girls out there and hair is coming back coarser but who gives a damn! it gets softer as it gets longer ive noticed though...so iz alll gooooddddd!

Vaheguruoooo ji ka khalsa Vaheguroo ji ki fateh penjeee...We Love Youuuuuuuuu!!!!! (sounds abit hippyfied but who cares...lollll!)

*Personallly I wouldnt wana be any other way and certainly not go back to me as me before. When my January post in blog is out check and read it hopefully you'll find something useful there (hehehhe abit of cheeky advertising...just couldnt help it )

[Mehtab Singh]

Women who wax their arms can't do it without yelling in pain, yet they do it.

Women who use lasers to remove facial hair end up messing up their face, yet they do it.

Women who shave their legs bleed and cry, yet they do it.

You be the one who stays the way God made you, and just smile

awww...yeaaa...like that...JUST LIKE THAT!!! :T: