Kids @ The Gurdwara

[kurtas]

Some kids do deserve to be disciplined, My dad used to give me shithar if I did wrong and it worked. I would not make the same mistake again.

I will give a few examples where shithar would be useful :

The local Guru Ghar had brand new toilet facilities, very swish and nice to use. The kids soon thought it was fun to throw wet toilet paper at the ceilings where it sticks. No one would do such things at home. They think they can get away with such bad behaviour at Gurdwara. I think they should be taught to show more respect for the Gurdwara than they do for their own homes.

Another example, some kids thought it was fun to throw the sangats shoes on to a roof, they were caught and told off. One of the parents got stroppy with the sewadaar for telling his kid off. Next thing you know the very same parent could not find his shoes (they were on the roof). He had to go back to the sewadaar and ask how to get the shoes off the roof.

[buddasingh]

If beating changes behaviour AND we should address the root of the problem.

Any parents who think of beating their children, report themselves to me.

I will beat the parents, who in turn will then modify their parenting behaviour to learn to raise more responsible children. Or maybe the parents will think raising children is tough, sometimes just as tough as being a child.

DON'T advocate for beating a child. This comes largely from the same culture that beleives that beating adults will change thier behaviour also. CHILDREN are to be treated as the most precious beings. Children NEED you to have expectations of them, they also need you to allow them to make mistakes. They need to be able to cross the lines without fear of a beating to learn where the lines are. They need a feeling of safety, security, hope, love, and respect.

[4RR]

Hello all,

Beating up kids? A BIG NO NO!!

Just think, if u use violence to discipline ur'e child, then in the long run the experience will effect them not just physically but also mentally. Like most of u have said, kids should feel as though that going to the gurudwara is a good thing, and not something which will get them a beating.

They're at that stage when they love fun...so why not make it fun for them. Before u set off for the gurudwara, tell ur kids 'YEAHHHH, WE'RE GOING TO THE GURUDWARA TODAY....' or maybe something like that. Get them to look forwards to going there, and maybe they'll respect the privilege of going to the gurudwara more.

What i do hate is the fact that YOUNG ADULTS like myself, doing mutar dekk to the marvage then going off to 'chill' with their mates!!! And it is mainly the lads who do this...No offence intended!!!! But these guys are my age...18 yr olds!!!! Abd they try to act like big shots, strutting around the gurudwara having no respect for the service. Then what's the point in coming...

And the worst thing is, that I know that they have been coming to the gurudwara since they were toddlers like me. And look, it hasn't been a great outcome, cus i still remember them playing around and not appreciating the beauty of our religion.

Oh, sorry about the essay...But right on Furious!!!!

[kurtas]

I am not advocating beating a child but a clip around the ear never hurt anyone.

[4RR]

Depends on how small the kid's ear is...u don't want it flying off in the air do ya LOL

nAH, but violence doesn't solve everything...or anything. If parents use violence, it gives the kids an excuse for using violence

[disguised]

well were not suggesting to beat the kid, in fact i wouldn't even describe it as a "beating", just enough so the child understands whats hes doin wrong and eventually wont do it at all. ... jst to disipline them, but as metioned, each kid is different, so if you scowl at them once and they listne, then dont hit them, but if the kid listens when hes spanked, then spank him.... my point is use a method tht you feel would be suitable for your child.

[Lionchild]

I am not advocating beating a child but a clip around the ear never hurt anyone.

156457[/snapback]

well that sounds better, i don't think we ever meant "beating" the child to behave. Perhaps there should be youth workshops during or before the main service, probably before would be ok.

Maybe a kds ardas and kirtan session...

I'm sure we can work a few ideas. :TH:

[4RR]

Hmmm, when i said beating the kid, i didn't mean punching or kicking. However, i have seen on numerous occasions how a parent would just throw a kid onto the floor, and slap him/her every time they tried to get up. From a young child's perspective, two slaps is like one massive punch for us grown ups.

Hey, but i really do like the idea of a play pen for kids in the gurudwara. It'll make the kids more independent as their parents won't be with them. And maybe we could have activities related to our sikh religion. U know like words related to sikhism, memory games and things like that.

But does anyone here have any opinions on young adults not showing respect to their religion? I think this is a more serious issue in a way, because when these guys have children they may not feel as though it is important to share the aspects of our religion, as they won't be as concerned. This only applies to certain groups of people who just go to the gurudwara and want to chill out with their mates!!!!!!!!

Soooo, anyone got a hoot about this?