Losing My Mind

[shergik]

hello all

You may remember in april i spoke to you all about my brother who passed away in February. I have tried so hard to take on board the advice that was given, but seriously i can't do this, i feel as though i'm all alone!! I can't talk to my husband as he feels "i should let go and try and get over it" and he can't cope with me crying - can't talk to my parents because i don't want to keep bringing it up for them - the only person i could have spoken to is not even here. My older brother was everything to me, we were there for each other in good times and bad, and i just can't believe that for the worst time of my life he's not here to support me - not a day goes by when i don't wish that it was me rather than him. Everyday when i come to work, my heart sinks when i have to walk past the section of the hospital where he was - my heart beats so fast, sometimes i feel as though me feet just can't move and i can't walk. Everytime i drive and am stuck behind a lorry, i fail to understand how his car could've possibly gone under the lorry, especially with tthe crash bars on every lorry now - and again the question Why is alway on my mind.

I've not had a single day since February 14th where i've not cried for him - I WANT HIM BACK!!!!!!

[ETCH]

its hukam we need to learnt to accept it

[singh_1983]

read Sukhmani Sahib once a day - it will bring peace to ur mind and guide to accepting what has happened, Sukhmani means - peace of mind

following is a link that will provide you with the full bani - its in Gurmukhi, if you cant read Gurmukhi then its got it in english underneath along with the meaning of each line.

http://www.lusikhsociety.com/multimedia/Su...0translation%22

if you find it hard to read then you can also go to the following link and get it in audio - scroll down to Sukhmani Sahib, right click it and save to your PC,

http://www.boss-uk.org/multimedia/

it will probly take over an hour or so to read it or listen to it but keep trust in Guru Arjan Dev Ji who states it will bring peace to the minds of those who read it.

keep faith in Guru Ji and read it daily - at least once a day,

Remembering God, fear cannot touch you. Remembering God, you don’t suffer with sorrow. - Sukhmani Sahib

[Daas]

what can you say other than read gurbani and try and understand that this is one big huma tuma mehal, we are all here to temporary it is unbelieveable, you had a chance to meet someone who was obviosuly a great brother to you, that meeting has finished now and you have to try and let go, it is difficult, no one can say it is easy, the connection does not just disappear, the memories don't just get erased, it takes time, gurbani paath and simran will help the mind realise the reality of time, and that what we see as 50 years is a mere second in the context of time.

One way to look at it is, would your brother want you to be this unhappy, he would probably have wished you to be strong for your parents. Sometimes it is easy to forget the world we live in and cry for something that just isn't coming back. Seperation is hard for anyone, as sangat we can only do ardaas that maharaj helps you accept his bhana and gives you the strength to move on....

[japmans]

Perhaps seekin a transfer to another hospital/city would help as well... you wouldn't be constantly forced to remember and replay the events in the hospital as you do right now.

[Guest PRITAM SINGH KHALSA]

Dukh+Gurbani= Sukh

Nanak Dukhia Sabh Sansaar

[kaur_khalistani_lioness]

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!

Gurbani is the key!

we all can give u advice but i am not sure how much it will help u.

well i will jus tell you what worked and still works for me. and this is what Guru sahib has advice me ...

i usually go and meet the people who have no one at all or have lost a loved one. I try to learn from them..how they cope with their lives, how they try to over come these emotional/attachment feelings..

well in chicago there is this area called "slums" where one of my teacher took us (long ago), and that whole experince has change me in ways i couldn't have ever imagined. so when ever something "bad" happens i usually think of the people i met and talked with in the "slum" area.

i am not sure how this would help you...but really ask Guru sahib ji to bless u...to help u overcome this and reflect on Gurbani. Without His Grace we aren't capable of doing anything.

bhul chuk muaff karni

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!

[Pheena]

The question you need to ask is not Why, but Who died? Did you consider your Brother to be this flesh and bones alone? Was he not something more than this cage body that held him?

http://www.sikhitothemax.com/Page.asp?Sour...98&Format=2

Raamkalee, Fifth Mehla:

The wind merges into the wind.

The light blends into the light.

The dust becomes one with the dust.

What support is there for the one who is lamenting? ||1||

Who has died? O, who has died?

O God-realized beings, meet together and consider this. What a wondrous thing has happened! ||1||Pause||

No one knows what happens after death.

The one who is lamenting will also arise and depart.

Mortal beings are bound by the bonds of doubt and attachment.

When life becomes a dream, the blind man babbles and grieves in vain. ||2||

The Creator Lord created this creation.

It comes and goes, subject to the Will of the Infinite Lord.

No one dies; no one is capable of dying.

The soul does not perish; it is imperishable. ||3||

That which is known, does not exist.

I am a sacrifice to the one who knows this.

Says Nanak, the Guru has dispelled my doubt.

No one dies; no one comes or goes. ||4||10||

This JivAtam known to you as your brother did not die. He cannot Die. The shell he arrived in surely did as will yours one day, as will mine and all those who you see and don't see yet. We do not always know why, nor can there always be answers for this question of Why.

Your attachment to this Jiva not only holds you back but perhaps he as well for it is unfair for you to not let him move on in his journey. It is our attachments that keep the jiva bound to us even after the death of the body and make it difficult for it to progress forward to his next birth. So it is not only for your benefit that you let him go, but for him as well.

You loved him you say, yet you keep him so bound to yourself? Love sprouts Freedom not attachment or confinement? Love him enough to let him progress in his journey, wish him well withyour love. Send your grief in an envelope of Love and gratitude to the one who allowed you two to share this bond of Love together.

You say you need him, have you looked within? Has he not left you with his confidence instilled within you? Through all of those times when he shared his support for you, did he not give you the courage to stand?

stop...breath.....close your eyes.... and look at the courage he has given you already.

Waheguru...Waheguru...Waheguru....

[Guest Papi]

pheena ji,

[Nama Singh]

hello all

You may remember in april i spoke to you all about my brother who passed away in February. I have tried so hard to take on board the advice that was given, but seriously i can't do this, i feel as though i'm all alone!! I can't talk to my husband as he feels "i should let go and try and get over it" and he can't cope with me crying - can't talk to my parents because i don't want to keep bringing it up for them - the only person i could have spoken to is not even here. My older brother was everything to me, we were there for each other in good times and bad, and i just can't believe that for the worst time of my life he's not here to support me - not a day goes by when i don't wish that it was me rather than him. Everyday when i come to work, my heart sinks when i have to walk past the section of the hospital where he was - my heart beats so fast, sometimes i feel as though me feet just can't move and i can't walk. Everytime i drive and am stuck behind a lorry, i fail to understand how his car could've possibly gone under the lorry, especially with tthe crash bars on every lorry now - and again the question Why is alway on my mind.

I've not had a single day since February 14th where i've not cried for him - I WANT HIM BACK!!!!!!

Vaheguroo :'(

I pray Maharaj gives me ure share of pain and suffering.