Marriage Material

[sikh supreme]

I'm at the age of marriage now and parents have introduced me to a few Singhs. So far all the ones that I have met, I have to admit I have not found them even remotely attractive. I must sound so superficial but you do have to find your potential partner attractive in order to be with them. As well not finding any of them attractive, I have not really hit it off with any of them either.

My parents did show me pictures of a few singhs too and they I did find attractive and agreed to meet. Through the bachole I found out they had asked for a picture of me, so I obliged. Now I am a turban wearing Singhni, never ever did I think that this was going to be an issue for amritdari singhs, but how wrong was I? I never heard back from any of those Singhs. They must have taken one look at my picture and thought...nope! Now I'm not going to blow my own trumpet too much but I would say that I'm quite an attractive girl. I've been told I am really pretty. So I didn't think it was because they found me unattractive. But what I heard from a friend of mine, who happened to know one of the singhs vaguely, was that that particular singh preferred non-dastaar wearing girls. I have since found out that he is engaged to a non amritdari and non kesdari girl!!!

This had got me thinking, could the other singhs have been put off by the fact that I wear a dastaar. Personally, I know of no other reason as to why they wouldn't even consider me. If only they got to know me then maybe they would have found out that I'm very chilled out girl and fun-loving. But it seems they just saw my dastaar and thought no.

Now on the other side of the coin. I seem to find that I do attract a lot 'monea' Sikhs and the reason why they seem to be attracted is due to my dastaar and personality. In fact not only sikhs but I seem to attract a lot of kale too. This I find rather weird and strange. These people are not suppose to find me attractive but do so. I've had monea sikhs and kale trying to chat me up whilst I am at the gym. Obviously I don't give me them any indication that I'm interested and tell them I just want to remain friends. But still I find this strange. Singhs prefer girls without a dastaar and monea sikhs prefer the fact that I wear a dastaar.

I have seen a growing number of Singhs myself who are either married or engaged to not only non amritdari girls but to girls who cut their hair. What is the cue with that?

Now I am stuck. No way am I going to stop wearing my dastaar esp not for a guy. All the singhs I am introduced to and are willing to accept my dastaar (to date) I have not been attracted and interested in. Monea sikhs who are interested in me I can't even consider due to the fact we will live two different lives. And I also find that I get on quite well with the monea sikhs too.

So what do I do?

If you cant find a Singh you like then ask your family to see how it goes with a moneh sikh guy? and slowly you can help him live like you. At the end of the day most guys when it comes to marriage want a decent girl with good values+faith and who hasnt been touched (ie virgin). Moneh sikh guys probably see you as marriage material than say other girls who they can mess around (aka girls who go running around from man to man and club to clubs like slappers). Therefore I think they try chatting you up respecting the fact you have a strong religious nature and principles and want a serious long term relationship. I could be wrong ...only you can tell what their intentions are and whether they are good guys.

anyways hope that helps...

[Singh132]

What kind of advice is all this? How could a dastaar-wearing bibi even consider marriage to a mona? It boggles the mind.

Bhainjee, although I'm generally reluctant to give advice in these matters, I'll make an exception here. I think it's rather presumptuous of you to assume that the problem is your dastaar. I don't think the vast majority of amritdharis would object to a dastaar. Most in fact won't marry a non-dastaar wearing bibi. There could be any number of reasons. For example you have said you didn't find some Singhs attractive and you didn't pursue those options. Could it be that the same is happening to you? I personally find this to be quite superficial to dismiss someone but to each their own.

I"m not sure what real options are available to you besides "keep trying".

[singhalicious]

you want my number winkwinknudgenudge but i be ready in a few yrs time .....just 18 yet:P

[jassa]

bina sanjoga de veah nahi hoonda wa .... hou oss naal jiss naal rab ne sanjog jorre hone ... tension kaddi ????

and turbaned girls look more beautiful then girls with gutt ....

[Guest Guest]

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh from Pritam Singh Khalsa @ Sacto

If everything is corrupt and over-ran, then to fall in to their ways is committing a crime. Stay yourself at ALL costs.

SatNam

[Guest Guest]

Keep looking? Since you seem to be quite worried about "attractiveness", to be brutally honest in my opinion the Sikh men in UK tend to be better looking than the Sikh women. Perhaps you are looking in the wrong place or through the wrong people. Does the person's Sikhi not matter to you or are you only concerned about what they look like?

[Guest Simple $ingh]

guys who cut their hair usually dont out of no where start to wear a turban even for a woman its something they should want to do, if she marries a guy who cuts his hair there is NO guaruntee he will start to keep his hair after marriage............he maybe stubborn and too stuck in his ways to change ...............a woman who keeps her hair should marry a guy who keeps his hair and vice versa........you will be more happy that your husband is proud of wearing his gurus uniform just like you are...................just my opinion..........and exactly how old are you?

[Apne satgur ke balhaareh...]

Thinking about it some guys do go for non sikh girls. Theres this gyani (wellsemigyani) nd he has 3 sons and all three are married to these really weird girls. They come to the Gurdwara wearing crappy crappy clothes- one came with a skirt on- how disgusting! All the wemen n men were talkikng and tutting at her- poor gyani. how much beizzatee is that!

Anyways i dont wear a dastaar myself, but i think that girls/wemen look elegant in them.

My best saying - everyone has a beauty but only some people can see it :TH:

[Guest Guest]

those 'attractive' guys r doing the same thing YOU did to the "unattractive one' penji one doesnt look at attractivnees one looks at personality. im disgusted and ur amritdasri wearing a dasraar? wow. yeah..um..ok!..u have to much ego telling poeple your beautiful as well.wow im out

Firstly I'm not going round telling people I am beautiful. I am just simpling saying that I'm not an unattractive person. If you know me then you would know that I'm not an egotisc person but I guess you are just going by what I have stated above.

And for all those others who are saying 'that one should not look and unattractive person but at personality'. Well that is easier said than done. You do need to find your potential partner attractive and appearance does matter to some extent.

Personally I wouldn't consider marrying a mona sikh simple because we would lead 2 different lives and I don't want that. So of course being a Singh matters to me and so does their Sikhi.

And for all those who are saying I'm superficial, I would honestly like to see any of you consider marrying someone you found unattractive and I say 'you' find unattractive.

I'm 23...24 this year.

[Guest -S1KH-]

I'm at the age of marriage now and parents have introduced me to a few Singhs. So far all the ones that I have met, I have to admit I have not found them even remotely attractive. I must sound so superficial but you do have to find your potential partner attractive in order to be with them. As well not finding any of them attractive, I have not really hit it off with any of them either.

My parents did show me pictures of a few singhs too and they I did find attractive and agreed to meet. Through the bachole I found out they had asked for a picture of me, so I obliged. Now I am a turban wearing Singhni, never ever did I think that this was going to be an issue for amritdari singhs, but how wrong was I? I never heard back from any of those Singhs. They must have taken one look at my picture and thought...nope! Now I'm not going to blow my own trumpet too much but I would say that I'm quite an attractive girl. I've been told I am really pretty. So I didn't think it was because they found me unattractive. But what I heard from a friend of mine, who happened to know one of the singhs vaguely, was that that particular singh preferred non-dastaar wearing girls. I have since found out that he is engaged to a non amritdari and non kesdari girl!!!

This had got me thinking, could the other singhs have been put off by the fact that I wear a dastaar. Personally, I know of no other reason as to why they wouldn't even consider me. If only they got to know me then maybe they would have found out that I'm very chilled out girl and fun-loving. But it seems they just saw my dastaar and thought no.

Now on the other side of the coin. I seem to find that I do attract a lot 'monea' Sikhs and the reason why they seem to be attracted is due to my dastaar and personality. In fact not only sikhs but I seem to attract a lot of kale too. This I find rather weird and strange. These people are not suppose to find me attractive but do so. I've had monea sikhs and kale trying to chat me up whilst I am at the gym. Obviously I don't give me them any indication that I'm interested and tell them I just want to remain friends. But still I find this strange. Singhs prefer girls without a dastaar and monea sikhs prefer the fact that I wear a dastaar.

I have seen a growing number of Singhs myself who are either married or engaged to not only non amritdari girls but to girls who cut their hair. What is the cue with that?

Now I am stuck. No way am I going to stop wearing my dastaar esp not for a guy. All the singhs I am introduced to and are willing to accept my dastaar (to date) I have not been attracted and interested in. Monea sikhs who are interested in me I can't even consider due to the fact we will live two different lives. And I also find that I get on quite well with the monea sikhs too.

So what do I do?

How tall are you?

I would have happily married you :cool: but the moment i read the "unattractive" part i just got turned off . Didn't expect that from an amritdhari singhni sporting a dastar. Am not amritdhari yet but i have learnt this from fellow amritdharis that this world is fake and physical beauty has nothing to do with spirituality.

I guess you are still looking from the eyes you got at your birth, try opening the eyes you got after you were born again . Yes, bibis with keskis are beautiful. Again

How tall are you ?