Depressed And Don't Know What To Do!

[Guest _Gupt_]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa

Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I don't what to do and I was hoping someone from this site could give me some advise! Please do not judge me as I'm not a bad person. I am only writing how I feel at this particular moment.

I am a female who has been wearing her dastaar now for over 10 years but I am now forced to wear it and for this reason I am beginning to resent it and everything it represents.

My hair has started falling out, over the past few years it has become really bad in that my forehead size has grown by about 2 inches. This has really started depressing me as of late and I'm beginning to feel less feminine because of this.

The loss of hair has been contributed heavily to my dastaar. I have been to the doctors about it and they have done numerous tests and have concluded that my hormones and everything are normal. I now feel like I have to continue wearing my dastaar as I'm too embarrassed about my forehead although my dastaar is the main cause of it.

I have been googling the cause and preventions and the only thing that comes up time and time again is hair transplant surgery, which is something I have been seriously considering. The other option is to completely stop wearing my dastaar and to cut my hair to disguise the forehead and again this something I am also seriously considering. I love my Sikhi saroop and really don't want to go along this route but it is really knocking my self esteem. I'm due to get married in 2009 and I'm dreading my husband to be seeing me without my dastaar which I know is envitable.

I know what some of you might say...'you wear dastaar which covers your forehead, so what's your problem'? But it's about a lot more than that. I still wear my dastaar because I know it does cover my forehead but everytime I comb my hair I look at myself in the mirror and I get seriously depressed. I avoid staying around my cousins or friends as I'm embarrassed about any of them seeing me without my dastaar. I really don't know what to do!

Again please do not judge me...I have come here for guidance only not to be told my immature people that it's wrong for me to even consider the above and that I should not be so vain and just grow up...etc etc...

[Guest Guest]

Hair loss for many people is inevitable and there is nothing you can do about it - accept it as Hukam. Cutting your hair, wearing it in a different way, etc etc wil not solve the problem. It will still exist, and your self esteem will still be low even if you have a haircut to "disguise" the forehead (this is different to "disguising" it with a Dastaar how?)

Personally, my hair line has receded very slightly over the last few years. I have seen others, whose hair lines have receded a lot, including various Singhnia. Some of them have lost much more than 2 inches of hairline. Whilst they may be very self conscious of it (I certainly am) it tends not to be noticed so much by others. Your root problem is not your hairline but your self esteem - do more Simran, keep more Rehat and find activities, especially active ones, which make you feel good about yourself.

Infact I am sure there are Singhnia who would actually be quite envious of you - some of them have low hair lines meaning they have to tie their Dastaar very low which is not usually seen as very 'feminine'

[sherlsurj]

hey sis!well first thing i can say is stop stressing. i used to tie my dastaar too tight and also do my joora(check spelling-LOL) so so so tight. this cause my hair line to rise. the more it rose the more i got stressed about it. the stress and worry about it caused it receed higher. eventually i just stopped worrying about and tied my hair up a lot looser. it helped a lot. just stop worrying as stress causes hair loss.

also one of my friends used to have really thin and weak hair. his hair just would not grow. so he changed his shampoo to a mild one. within a few months his hair was really rich and strong.

hope this helps sis.

over and out

[no_0ne]

The other option is to completely stop wearing my dastaar and to cut my hair to disguise the forehead and again this something I am also seriously considering. I love my Sikhi saroop and really don't want to go along this route but it is really knocking my self esteem. I'm due to get married in 2009 and I'm dreading my husband to be seeing me without my dastaar which I know is envitable.

Don't take this offensive - you just need to wake up ----->

Considering to cut your hair and give up your sikhi is the most biggest mistake you could ever make which will ruin both your life here and the afterlife. The problem is that you think that your youth will last forever but it won't. Although you may feel ashamed and embarrased of your hair but the most greatest shame and embarassment you could ever recieve is when you die by DharamRai. Your problem is very minor compared to others i.e. myself. Im sure your soon to be husband will like you for who you are not for your beauty.

You know what the answer is and i'll say it again; jap naam, experience the love of God who does not consider any ones beauty or ugliness. Maya will never please you. Just by not having one thing, people forget everything else they have and discard God completely. Bhenji, don't do the same.

Sorry, I could have been more sympathetic. Hope this helped

[Gurbar Akaal]

Cutting your kesh will still leave you in the same problem, underneath you will still have the same hairline as you have now.

What makes you think that the transplanted hair wont fall either?

This is definitly a medical problem and you should should treat it as such, visit a dermatologist and get professional advice. In the meantime tie your dastar loseley and dont do a knot in your kesh when you do your joora.

if you wear a dastar at night take it off to reduce the tension on your roots or wear it loosely.

[Guest peacemaker]

Same thing happened started to happen to me. Well don't cut your hair, but what I do is I take my dastaar off when I'm at home. It gives my hair much needed air and is very refreshing actually.

[JustME]

give up your sikhi is the most biggest mistake you could ever make which will ruin both your life here and the afterlife. The problem is that you think that your youth will last forever but it won't.

You know what the answer is and i'll say it again; jap naam, experience the love of God who does not consider any ones beauty or ugliness. Maya will never please you. Just by not having one thing, people forget everything else they have and discard God completely.

:WW: :WW:

Could Not Agree More

[no_0ne]

Same thing happened started to happen to me. Well don't cut your hair, but what I do is I take my dastaar off when I'm at home. It gives my hair much needed air and is very refreshing actually.

I think we should keep our keski on at all times. When you're at home, you obiviously do not have to wear your dastaar but keep a keski on loose.

[sherlsurj]

well as for giving your hair air when i wash my hair i tie my keksi around my waist. and let my hair dry of naturally. that gives it all the air it needs.

[Guest peacemaker]

Good for you!