Trouble With In-laws

[RKang17]

Jus leave………move out!!!

I mean y should u hav to put up wid all this?

[kaur_khalistani_lioness]

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!

i agree with what Heera Singh and Gurbar Akal has said. I would say discuss this with your husband, because after all he knows his family and u both. it seems like he understands the situation, since he is standing up for u and helping u out. also, be more mature thn ur mothr in law, and trying seeing things from ur mom in-laws perspective. yes it sometimes is hard to see things that way...but try it. ask ur self why is she acting all fussy about u moving out? it's normal for a mom to be attached to her son and feel bit angry or jealous when her boy takes the side of his wife instead of someone who raised him. im sure there are many other reasons she feels the way she does.

Discussion is the best thing here...

one thing that came to my mind was...just go out togther and try to create a better relationship with ur mother-in-law.

can i ask u something?...i know they have lost some trust of urs by talking behind ur back and discussing the matter...but have u ever seen ur mother-in-law as ur mother?

maybe it's a clash between ur expectations and hers. communication is the key we all know that...but we forget that everyone around us have different views and expectations and we cant GUESS them...they need to be heard and explained by the person. even after explanation...sometimes we misinterpret them. we all have dreams and thoughts about how our life would be in a family(when we have children, mother/father-in-laws, our kids wives/hubbys...what we expect etc etc) tell her what u want/ed, saw or expect/ed in ur relationship with ur mom-in-law (heart to heart talk)

it seems like u respected her a lot and did everything she asked u to do....as i said above...i know it's something most of our desi families usually dont do or think is crazy...but maybe sitting with her, and having a light talk about what she looks/ed in a daughter in-law or what her expectations are/were? and how before marriage or even when u got married....how u viewed ur and her relationship to be like? if she into it go out to a restaurant/ movies?(my chachi ji does even after being a mother in law), or someplace fun where u both can relax and not feel ...the way u usually do at home.

as u already know, most of the time it's the misunderstanding on both parts that create problem in a relationship...and also no one want to back off or be humble and compromise(u have done it but now u dont want to?).

give her respect she deserves cuz she is older, and ask her as a kid/daughter about things.

have u ever asked her for advice on things or do u run to ur other mom? if u haven't already... there is a need for u to create some kind of a bond between u and her.

try to resolve things with ur sister-in-law as well? even thought these negative feelings that we have inside of us about each other might feel like 'not a big deal' but they are. they build up and cause pain and stress in this worldy and spiritual life.

i like the fact that u are thinking about it, and taking your time to think through it. dont make a quick decision...consider all the options.

DONT JUST MOVE OUT!thats the worst u can do..and dont move out WITH A FIGHT. relationships are very fragile and we always need the people who are in our lives.

read sukhmani sahib... if not all just few Ashtpadehz a day.

like Gurbar Akal said...

"do a daily routine of Nitnem, read Gurbani and try to understand the meanings through translations or steeks.This will give you a good mental mindframe and a positive outlook on life. Above all, there is no situation that cannot be resolved so stay strong and dont take it to heart that much."

see if there is anything said above that clicks to u, and u think will help u in making ur life and life of others around u more peaceful and loving

forgive me for...i might have made lots of judgments on my part to understand the situation to give my opinion

let me know if it helps u

akal sahai always

waheguru ji kakhalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!