Which Is The Correct Way?

[mophlrkb]

Two choices....respecting and following wishes of family or following what you know is the right way to go. How does one handle this situation.

Do you follow the respectful wishes of your family? Do you ignore what you know or 'feel' is right? Do you ignore your family? From a Sikhi point of view, I would imagine that the family options is always right.

But how does one deal with choosing the latter...and ignoring the family?

How do you deal with those emotions and how do you accept the pain and sorry you may be causing them?

I've kept this quite open so it would apply to many situations, I guess the most obvious with be Amrit...but perhaps lets consider other options like stuyding for a degree or moving away from home or getting married?

Which is right and which is wrong?

[Wicked Warrior]

Sometimes, there is no right or wrong.

Parents may have one opinion, their son/daughter may have another.

It's often taken that the family is right because the usually the child is doing something wrong or following the wrong path.

However, family can be wrong - there are stories of sikhs who want to take amrit but their family seems to be against it.

Parents generally try to do the best for their offspring - they will try to guide them and help them through life using their own knowledge and experience. However, since this varies from person to person, no one has complete knowledge and experience of life. Only He who created it knows it intimately.

The right path is the Righteous Path. It is the way illuminated by Gurbani. It is the path that has the support of the Naam. This is the True Path.

Things like further education/marriage are decisions that the person needs to come to by themselves. What their parents say is only advice/guidance. If a girl wants to marry a boy and the parents are against it because of "caste", then who is right? The Righteous Path recognises no caste and therefore discriminating on the basis of "caste" is wrong.

If a person wants to study and go into higher education but the parents disagree, there is likely to be a basis for the response. there are the inherent dangers of living in a new place, especially as a visible Sikh. Then there are the problems with being a student - accommodation/finance/debt/etc. The self must weigh these factors in when making their decision.

As a child, I remember reading a sakhi of a young sikh boy, maybe 17-18 years old. At the time, Sikhs were being hunted and when they came to knock on the house of the boy and his family, the mother said that she was a hindu. When asked about the boy, she said he was also hindu. The boy spoke and said he was not a hindu but a Sikh of the Guru. I can't remember what happened next, whether he fought, was taken or killed. The mother was trying to do the best for her son by lying. The son followed the Righteous Path and did not sway in his faith.

[_singhni_]

Wicked Warrior...

i know the sakhi which your on about..

if u want me to complete the sakhi for you i will.

[Wicked Warrior]

Wicked Warrior...

i know the sakhi which your on about..

if u want me to complete the sakhi for you i will.

Please do - you don't need to ask for my permission. I just couldn't remember all of the details but remembered enough to be able to get my point across.