Getting Engaged Early Has Become A Trend These Days.

[Guest _Gupt Singh_]

i have noticed that many people (youth) especially in the united kingdom have been getting engaged at a very early age, When there is no need, times have changed. i just think people are not mature enough to make these decisions these days, and problems arise from this.

Some people i know think they are even old enough to become a bachola, it has become a joke to some people. why hurry?... 18 especially, it is too young, then you would have a long engagement, its just too long, why do people feel the need they need to engage and marry at such a young age?

i think it is all to do with excitement, and they want to make something of themselves, but thats not the way to do it, just concentrate on your gur sikhi jeevan for now, and guru jee will find you a partner, there is a lot of match making going on etc etc...

when you get older, you may regret it, i mean once ur engaged you'll be thinking about gettin married, oh my god i am getting married soon... blah blah blah.

some kids don't even know the meaning of commitment, they dont understand what marriage actually is,

this has been happening quite alot in other countries, such as canada.

and i am scared it is just doing to become a trend, that at 18 you go looking for your partner, and you want to get engaged?

are you stupid?

its not the old days in india, its different, completely different. before i never thought anything of it, but now i think it is becoming quite a fashion.

[mophlrkb]

There is nothing wrong with getting engaged at an early age.

In most cases it's the choice of the individuals...granted some could potentially be quite immature, but I'm sure there are many 18+ who are pretty mature enough to know what they are getting themselves into.

Also, I don't see anything wrong in getting engaged (with a view to marrage) in terms of Sikhi.

As long as both partners are focussed on Sikhi, there shouldn't be this "OH STAY FOCUSSED ON SIKHI AND NOTHING ELSE, FORSAKE THE WORLD AND EVERYTHING IN IT AND LETS JUST LOCK OUR SELVES IN A LITTLE ROOM AND JAAP NAAM"

Whilst that would be VERY GOOD to do, we all have commitments and should not take an ascetic view on things.

We all have to make chioces about marrage, it's NATURAL....(please don't bring BF-GF or Sex into this)....finidng a parter is an important step in that process and nowadays it's done in conjunction with the parents.

Finally, if two Gursikh Jivans are 18+ and wanted to get married...what better expresion or love...in every sense of the word...both individuals are commited to God and each other and both will support each other on their path towards Sikhi.

[Guest _Gupt_]

Ok, in someways, i agree with you. On the other hand i dont.

I agree that if people turn 18 and decide to start looking for someone to get married to, then having a long engagement, this is wrong. Especially because i assume long engagements can get very complicated etc. However if the parents arrange for them to get married, and they are both gursikhs then this is ok. But then again, i think its better to wait until both gursikhs are a little more mature, 18 is very young. I guess sometimes, hukam is hukam.

[CaptainQ]

...just concentrate on your gur sikhi jeevan for now, and guru jee will find you a partner, there is a lot of match making going on etc etc..

Finally someone who speaks sense. I agree with you 100%, we got too many youth who (to put it bluntly) are just too close with the opposite sex and use the "he/she will help me with my sikhi" line to get married when there is obviously a dodgy relationship going on. lol

[rupinder singh]

What's the problem? I know some 30 year olds who are still too immature to get married.

Looking back at my own jeevan. Maybe if I had married at and earlier age I may have been encouraged to do less of the maray karam that I did.

To me marriage changed my life, for the better. It bought maturity, commitment and selflessness. It brought focus and above all Sikhi into my jeevan.

Don't knock it.

[TarunSingh]

speaking of long term engagements, are engagements even promoted by Sikh Rehit Maryada - last I checked there was no such thing but it was still 'allowed'

f. Marriage may not be preceded by engagement ceremony. But if an engagement ceremony is sought to he held, a congregational gathering should be held and, after offering the Ardas before the Guru Granth Sahib, a kirpan, a steel bangle and some sweets may be tendered to the boy.

[rupinder singh]

Right understand now. We are talking about long term engagements. Fair comments, I think there are some potential problems with these "long term" engagements within the GurSikh community.

[Singh23]

wjkk wjkf

Hmmm......but what about years ago when our ancestors got married at young ages? Its only a trend thats started probably in the last 100 years to start getting married around 25 or after. My grandfather got married at 16, and my grandmother was 14! And then my mom was 18 while my dad was 20. So another question we could ask is why are we getting married so late these days. I know the topics about engagement but I think that getting engaged early may be a resurfacing trend not something new.

:gg:

[wjkk wjkf]

speaking of long term engagements, are engagements even promoted by Sikh Rehit Maryada - last I checked there was no such thing but it was still 'allowed'

f. Marriage may not be preceded by engagement ceremony. But if an engagement ceremony is sought to he held, a congregational gathering should be held and, after offering the Ardas before the Guru Granth Sahib, a kirpan, a steel bangle and some sweets may be tendered to the boy.

engagement CEREMONIES shouldn't be held...there's nothing wrong with being engaged. All it means is that you are going to marry a specific person.

[Jai Tegang!]

nothing wrong with getting married at 18. kaam comes under controll; life becomes much more disciplined. plus, sooner we bring bhujhangis for the khalsa panth, the better.