Just Cant Move On

[Guest pain]

ok ill start by saying why is life so hard. im 25 and been working so hard recently with my sikhi and everything in life. i give all my wages to my fam dnt spend much myself, i work my <banned word filter activated> off and im just trying to be good generally. anyway i took amrit 2 years ago. and feel really blessed and luicky. however before i took amrit i used to date a really nice girl. she helped me with my sikhi and was the only person in my life who listened to me. but i just cant get over her. i do ardass for everyday since we split up about 2 and a half years ago. the thing its i just cant get over her. i feel so down. b4 amrit i used to self harm a lot to cope. went to counselling and went off work. i took amrit and things started looking up. but no matter hhw hard i try i alwys end up falling. i have been trying so hasrd with life recently but yest i saw a pic of her on facebook and its killed me. i just feel like killing myself or self harming again. i dont get it. its been so long but im still hurt no matter what i do i alwys get hurt by it. and b4 any of u say it werent just a sily kiddy relationship. i loved her and we wanted to marry. u think 2 1/2 years wud be long enuff to get over sum1 but i spent all last night upset. i just had enuff of feeling like this!!!i dont get why im getting punsihed so much. im so close to giving up ..........

god bless u all for listening. sorry. futeh jio

[valli singh]

please don't harm yourself Brother,

it won't make you feel any better,

expressing anger through hitting something external

is fine like a punching bag,

but I'm sure you know this,

is marriage an option?

[Guest Kizarny]

Don't give up! Put in some effort. Step up your game.

There are plenty of other fish in the sea, you know?

[Jag_Singh]

wjkk wjkf

I've noticed lots of 'I'. It's Homey. Get rid of it. Moving on in life is one difficult task to truly accomplish. I guess it all comes down to your own belief. Maybe you could start to ease your way back in. Think profoundly about this girl, get your thoughts clear. Keep asking Waheguru if this is what you truly want. Whatever you do, do not get too attached. Best of luck with everything. May Waheguru bless you.

wjkk wjkf

[Guest Papi]

I got 2 words for you, anand sahib This has been tried and tested by me time and again, and it works! Whenever you are down, do anand sahib, this bani will uplift you from the darkest, deepest pit of emotional entanglements, I say from experience

[Ramneet Singh]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa,waheguru ji ki fateh

You sound like a man in need of some serious help. The obvious direction for you to go is towards your guru. Seva, simran, and sangat with a topping of ardas.

What I find interesting here is that you mention it has been 2 and a half years and your still not over it. I think the saying "time heals all wounds" is true but it ONLY if the wound heals properly. If the wound can't heal due to a constant disturbance, it will not heal.

If you keep poking at your "wound" with these thoughts and actions, you can be a 90 year old man and still not be over this. Facebooking her profile would count as a great disturbance...heh

There is a book called Man to Man by Yogi Bhajan. I think every man should read this book. I have read parts of it and it really explains why we men do the things we do in relation to women and our selves.

http://www.spiritvoyage.com/yoga/Man-To-Ma...BKS-009103.aspx

Hope that helps bro

Waheguru ji ka khalsa,waheguru ji ki fateh

[Nehmat]

Go for a walk. Fall in love with the Nature. Unconditional love. 'Nature' includes everything not just one or two people from 'this world'. Appreciate his 'Kudrat' unconditionally.

As for suicide, it can only make matters worse for you. Your spirit will roam around feeding on worms and feces waiting to be liberated. Since you have taken "Amrit', he surely will come to help your spirit out...but that too depends on your previous deeds. It can take 'yugs' or it can take 'years'. Why bother with suicide?

Thinking about that girl you have forgotten about the mother who gave birth to you... How come? That girl helped you with what you call 'Sikhi'. Good. But she left you. Did your mother leave you? Or your father leave you? How come you don't even think about them? How selfish...

Think about it. Did she really help you with what you've referred to as 'Sikhi'? To be a Sikh means to love your Guru...unconditionally. Do you love him?

Seems like you only love that ONE person, whereas, he exists in all. Maharaj Ji says to love everyone, everything. Please seize the moment. Go to Sahib Shree Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaj and tell him that you are his--- forever.

Das Jaan Kar Kirpa Karo Mohe, Har Para Main Aan Duaar Tohe

May Maharaj Ji bless you with his 'Seva' soon...

[Guest _Singhnee_]

Fateh Brother,

I'm so sorry to hear this, really do feel your pain. My opinion is that it's really hard to actually 'move on'. Im Amritdhari but before taking Amrit I was also involved with someone and we had all these dreams about getting marrying, taking Amrit together and living a Gursikh jeewan.

Unfortunately, things don't always go to plan, things happen and suddenly plans change. Life is all about change, that's whats so scary. We as people get so comfortable in our habits and in the past that we forget that life is so short, anything can and will happen. We can't guarantee that we will live to see tomorrow . . Keep this in mind my dear brother.

It took me some time to try and move on from the whole chapter in my life, sometimes i don't remember what happened then all of a sudden something occurs where nostalgia kicks in or the past just comes back to me . . Thing is we have to realise that it's the PAST - which means nothing as it can't be altered or modified or even be brought back!

Psychologically it seems that you are caught up on this girl as you liked the person you was at the time when you was with her, you probably behaved or thought in a different way to the way you do now. You're handing onto those feelings and memories because you crave to have those feelings again, to be the way you were.

Thing is brother, that this is a part of life - change is inevitable and is what makes people build character, carry a personality and generally LIVE life. I urge you to just divert your attention as soon as possible, by thinking about her you're just causing more pain and distress to your life.

Just one thing, do you really think that this girl is the same person as she was 2 and half years ago . . . so you really believe that she's thinking about you and crying over the past and prepared to kill herself because things didn't work out between you. I'm sorry but I don't mean to upset you more but these questions really need to be pondered over.

Brother, i'm going to do Ardaas for you tonight to ask Guru Ji to help you - Just think long and hard about this, life is ticking away so quickly, you think by consuming your mind with thoughts about this girl will get you anywhere in life? You can and will do so much with your life, if only you follow Guru Sahib's HUKAM - this is Guru Ji's HUKAM! Guru Ji only does what is best for us, but we fools just don't understand it.

Please accept this Hukam and appreciate that you have a life and you can be capable of acheiving so much with it. There are some people out there that are dying to have a few more days as they're fighting various life-threatening diseases etc, trust me I know this personally!

Another thing, you weren't meant to be with this girl, but Guru Ji knows everything and has everything sorted out for you . . you just need to call Him through Simran and Ardaas - this is what will get you everything you ever needed in this life and the next . . .

Im so sorry for going overboard with the post but I really felt compelled to reply to your post as I've been in your position and to say the least it HURTS! But what i've realised is that nothing else really matters accept for Guru Ji and the means to get to Guru Ji is through Simran - Simran is really the only thing that will help you. So start japping WaheGuru and feel those tensions/distress/pain float away and feel the presence of PURE REAL LOVE from WaheGuru.

I apologise for the areas where i've said something wrong or have upset you, please forgive me.

[equal4sikh]

ok ill start by saying why is life so hard. im 25 and been working so hard recently with my sikhi and everything in life. i give all my wages to my fam dnt spend much myself, i work my <banned word filter activated> off and im just trying to be good generally. anyway i took amrit 2 years ago. and feel really blessed and luicky. however before i took amrit i used to date a really nice girl. she helped me with my sikhi and was the only person in my life who listened to me. but i just cant get over her. i do ardass for everyday since we split up about 2 and a half years ago. the thing its i just cant get over her. i feel so down. b4 amrit i used to self harm a lot to cope. went to counselling and went off work. i took amrit and things started looking up. but no matter hhw hard i try i alwys end up falling. i have been trying so hasrd with life recently but yest i saw a pic of her on facebook and its killed me. i just feel like killing myself or self harming again. i dont get it. its been so long but im still hurt no matter what i do i alwys get hurt by it. and b4 any of u say it werent just a sily kiddy relationship. i loved her and we wanted to marry. u think 2 1/2 years wud be long enuff to get over sum1 but i spent all last night upset. i just had enuff of feeling like this!!!i dont get why im getting punsihed so much. im so close to giving up ..........

god bless u all for listening. sorry. futeh jio

If you really want to get over her read this!

I know you feel down, and feel feeble of emotional thoughts. Singh to be dead on honest, everything you’ve written, your whole story exact to exact is what I been through.

Please don’t harm yourself, and don’t go to no counselling, they’re suicidal!

The answer to how you can achieve the “Free State of emotional disorder”; Well there’s many ways and I’ll only tell you what worked for me!

The method involves emotion releasing session, the energy’s are channelled and the flow is balance naturally. Your current status involves imbalances in your energy’s, which lead to emotional disorder.

Initially the genesis of this method came from the Chinese. More information will be available to you if you’re interested.

I can also provide you with substantial evidence if you’re interested.

This session if from another member of the Sikh community, you I can say more knows about life and death then most of us.

I’m sure god will direct you, correctly!

If you need help send me a message,

[Guest pain]

i think a lot of u are getting me wrong. its not like i think about this girl 24.7. i dnt. im too busy doing phaat seva working etc. ive been keeping myself busy for ages now but stuff cum up every now and again that throw me back. im not interested in other fish or anything. i love god just my past hurts me. im, not a bad lad. i dnt thinkl bad abotu girls. i reli dnt. just things have been going well but the past hurts. yeah phaat and sikhi helps but past cant be wiped away.

ps - ill never do suicide got responsibilities to fam. friends and sangat , just throw for six and dnt know why