Spending Daughter's Money

[Guest Guest]

I am a college grad and have been working for a few years now.

I am unmarried and live with my parents.

My mom stays home cuz she doesnt need to work and my dad works.

My mom says that my money/salary should be kept in a seperate account b/c Guru Gobind Singh Ji said not to ever take money/property/possessions from your daughters. You are only supposed to give to your daughters. It is in His 51 rules. My dad, however, spends my money as he pleases and does not listen to my mom.

what do most Sikh girls do? Keep their money seperate?

[Guest --gupt--]

Guru fateh!

Do sukhamani saheb ji patha & ardaas.Guru ji will show u path............

Bul chuk mafa!

[Guest camel face]

I am a college grad and have been working for a few years now.

I am unmarried and live with my parents.

My mom stays home cuz she doesnt need to work and my dad works.

My mom says that my money/salary should be kept in a seperate account b/c Guru Gobind Singh Ji said not to ever take money/property/possessions from your daughters. You are only supposed to give to your daughters. It is in His 51 rules. My dad, however, spends my money as he pleases and does not listen to my mom.

what do most Sikh girls do? Keep their money seperate?

yeha fair enough in th gurus times there were no jobs for women !!!

Now there are jobs , give to your mom and dad like rent or buy the groceries, they raised us up. its the least we can do. You cant take the money with you. nothing goes with you. Tera Tera Tera

[Papi]

^ There is no "your" money and "their" money, it's family's money and should be spent accordingly where required. If you wish to get into this your money, my money business then try to calculate the amount your parents have spent on you since you were born...I bet you won't be able to pay just that off for a majority of your life. This is not taking into account all the time/effort/patience they have taken to make you what you are today. How can any child put a price on that?!!!

[AvnitK]

i dont think there is any such rule...... everything you have is of your family its not like its your money or her oney or anyones just like the post above its their money or you could its OUR money cuz its your family ..... my faily made a seperate account for me but when it comes to having cash money we are always givng our money to eachother we dont care about the money in the bank ....yeha sometimes someone comes around saying that never take from her and stuff ...but its family like the moneys not only one persons it everyones when it comes to family

[AmarjitKaur]

Another way to deal with the situation is that you guys monitor for few months how much its costing you to live in a family and then divide that by no. of people in family. Then you contribute your share. That way your father is not using your money, but you are paying for your share to share the house and expenses. And you keep saving the rest for your marriage time and don't let your parents spend any on your marriage but spend yourself out of saved money. pay for your car installment, insurence etc etc. urself.

That way girls are not burden on their parents but you are not violating Guru Gobind Singh's rule either. Even though, that rule may be applying after daughter gets married and no more part of her parents family anymore but part of her husband's family.

The way I like to think is "why do we earn?, to pay for our living expenses, to buy food, to pay for the roof on the top of our heads, to pay for means to get to work, to become capable to work, to keep our health in shape". So if you can figure that out, there you go, you are not guilty and you are being fair to pay your share and your parents are not taking money from you either, which your mom may be making you think.

[Jai Tegang!]

Your mother is correct. One of Guruji's 52 hukams states not to consume the wealth of one's daughter.

If you put this into historical context, this most likely refers a daughter's wealth after she is married off, because proir to marriage there is really no way a daughter could earn money. This is also still practiced in tradtional Punjabi, if not all Indian culture. I remember elders telling me how their elders never even drank a glass of water from their son-in-law's home.

The reason is, the daughter is not going to inherit any of the fathers wealth, so it's unfair for the parents to take anything from her before or after marriage.

Maybe in some extreme cases where the parents are unable to work and there is no other means to support the family...but this seems very rare.

My personal opinioon is is that we shouldnb't use the daughter's wealth. Let the daughter save up for her family life in the future.

[Guest Guest]

Guest ji,

If u want to practice this belief than do it when you have a daughter, can't impose on others.

Best solution to your current problem, get married a.s.a.p and save your father from commiting any sin.

[Mehtab Singh]

If you are not married, you are still a part of your parents' household, so you can contribute if you want to. Once you are married, its a different story.

Just my opinion.

[sherlsurj]

Guru fateh!

Do sukhamani saheb ji patha & ardaas.Guru ji will show u path............

Bul chuk mafa!

u cant just say do phaat and everything will be ok! sure it helps but u need to take aaction too!its liek saying i got beaten up teh other day and all ill do to get over it is do phaat! yeah im saying to this girl do ur phaath but stand up 2 him as wel!thast appalling he does that. hw old r u?my paarents used to do that when i was like 10. nt after that