I Humbly Ask For The Sangats Advice

[West London Singh]

Going to the police will only make everything more complicated and make things worse than they are now. Putting charges on a person does not get them healed from their mentally imbalanced state(it enrages them even more).

If there is no physical abuse involved then I agree with Only Five that going to police will make situation more worse and no point of reaching any compromise in near future

I disagree. It takes one split second for the person that mentaly abuses his spouse to kill and maim that spouse. In fact, that is the next natural progression. Now, I agree, that in a very small number of Asian men, the fact that his wife called the police will indeed make him even more angry and violent, but I think that is a risk you must take. In the majority of cases, the invollvement of the police is the wake up call he needed. A reality check. Up untill now, it's obviously not got through to him how wrong his actions are.

[dalsingh101]

I feel for you sister.

I think it may be worth you looking into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (also known as CBT), as a way of getting your husband to look at his behavior in a different light and hopefully making steps towards changing it.

Another poster rightly pointed out that such behaviour usually stems from other deeply seated issues within a person. I'm suggesting CBT because it could help unravel them. This is of course assuming that your husband would agree to participate in such a program and/or you have the means for it. These problems sometimes stem from childhood experiences that have since been forgotten.

Just be aware that if the abuse increases, you must not end up in a position of a perpetual victim, both for yourself and your children. Don't get to that stage. I wouldn't get the police involved unless it is seriously required also, use family as much as possible, both his and yours.

I hope all the best for you.

[guruvah]

If you truly are a Singhni, then I suggest you seek Guru Jis Sharan(santuary), as I personally believe in not keeping my hopes on mere mortals advice. There is nothing your guru can help you out of. All hukamnamas u have taken direct you only at japping naam/bhagti. So do it.

If your husband is such then it is must be due to absence of Naam/Gurbani in his jeevan. Then there is also a chance that he has a job where he in constant pressure, which he lets out on you.

Do at least 1-2 Sri Sukhmani Sahib , and LISTEN to the Gurbani you are reading with full concentration, faith & love. Trust me, Gurbani can do paras kala beyond words. Do simran whenever he starts shouting within yourself.

Reading your post I can say that you and your Singh might not bee keeping amritwela together. (I get this impression here) Try to make a point for both of you to sit together read Gurbani/Simran and Seva at Gurughar together. Dont push him to do it, encourage politely. (if you can't make him wake up at amritwela as a start )

I read this once on Gurmatbibek.com forum:

"A family that Jaaps Naam together, Stays together"

and I happen to agree a lot with Singhstah's post.

The fact that he feels bad after losing his temper means he has no control over his krodh(due to lack of control over the mind). Naam is the solution. Gurbani clearly says without Naam in ones self, having bad virtues is unavoidable. As this is kalyug.

correct my assumptions if I am wrong in anyway.