Ending My Life.

[Wales85]

1. Plenty of my classmates have had crappier stats than you... and now they are all gonna be docs. Some got PhDs, some have masters... but honestly... if your willing to work I feel like you will eventually get in.

2. Enjoy the struggle. It means your challenging yourself. Easy for me to say, but you better get used to it. Grad school makes you feel like an <banned word filter activated> every day... and even if your smart plenty of people are always smarter or better educated coming in.... lots of people talked about offing themselves my first year as well... its all just part of the grind bro..

3. You have a very negative self talk going on. It doesn't do any good, and actually makes things harder on you. If your grades are poor like you say... you need to change something. I know sometimes if I get all negative my studying is not as effective... because im wallowing is self pity the whole time...

4. Whenever I get too bummed about this stuff I remember that most of the world lives hand to mouth, and me and you are worried about our academic achievements... its very important, but even at our worst we are still doing better than most...

5. Religion is important... but prayer doesn't earn good grades, studying does. If you need to cut back a little with religious stuff (if thats consuming your time) I truly believe God will understand.

Hope some of this advice helped ya

-W

[Guest Hopeful]

Thanks for the replies, I've wanted to be a marine biologist as a kid, however that wasn't really practical. I love biology, but I dislike the actual class. I was fine up until second level college biology, the amount we have to memorize is insane...

I want to be a doctor for a few main reasons: 1. my parents are working so hard for us 2. I want to help people and want a decent income so I don't have to worry about making money like my parents have. 3. I want to help people, but this wouldn't be the only way to do so 4. I have an interest leaning towards biology

All your replies really helped, thanks. I guess it really does come down to perseverance Mr. W, thanks for your reply.

[anush]

Please don't take any drastic step. Just think about your parents. Marks and grades are not everything frnd.

Keep your spirits high.

Take good care of yourself.

[Guest Guest]

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[SunSingh]

read The power of story, by Jim Loehr. Any book of his is absolute gold. He's a sports psychologist and does career and corporate coaching.

Read the study hacks blog. It's all about how to find your life path as well as proper study skills and strategies. Best career choosing advice I've ever seen. Both his study skills and career choosing advice are sometimes unorthodox, but always brilliant and insightful.

Look up bach flower remedies for various issues like lack of motivation, depression etc. They work exceptionally well for psychological conditions. Although preserved in alcohol, if you search around you can find them preserved in cider vinegar.

reading some posts, it seems like people lack life balance. an overemphasis on one area to the detriment of others for too long can result in depression and burnout. living someone else's life, such as the life your parents want you to live, can also result in burnout. I've learned through difficult mistakes, living the life your parents want is not the route to happiness, and you don't have any obligation to them to be a doctor or whatever else they want. it's your life, the pain of disappointments is yours, so you may as well live it to achieve your own full potential rather than to make someone else superficially happy with cars or big houses.

When something is not in your karma, no matter how hard you work, you will not get it. The only solution is to change goals or to improve your karam. Karma can be improved through NISHKAAM simran and seva, proper sangat helps a lot (gurdwara), and watching your thoughts to prevent paap as paap destroys our good karams.

If you need to see a career counsellor, do it. If you need other professional help, then go get that help. One thing I've learned about life is that its full of change. I sometimes feel the lows are there to build up character qualities, and to carve the cup of character; though it's painful a well carved cup means that we can hold more God inside of us.

I find meditating on this shabad gives a lot of peace:

ਭੈਰਉ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥

bhairo mehalaa 5 ||

Bhairao, Fifth Mehl:

<br class="clearer">ਊਠਤ ਸੁਖੀਆ ਬੈਠਤ ਸੁਖੀਆ ॥

oothath sukheeaa baithath sukheeaa ||

Standing up, I am at peace; sitting down, I am at peace.

<br class="clearer">ਭਉ ਨਹੀ ਲਾਗੈ ਜਾਂ ਐਸੇ ਬੁਝੀਆ ॥੧॥

bho nehee laagai jaan aisae bujheeaa ||1||

I feel no fear, because this is what I understand. ||1||

<br class="clearer">ਰਾਖਾ ਏਕੁ ਹਮਾਰਾ ਸੁਆਮੀ ॥

raakhaa eaek hamaaraa suaamee ||

The One Lord, my Lord and Master, is my Protector.

<br class="clearer">ਸਗਲ ਘਟਾ ਕਾ ਅੰਤਰਜਾਮੀ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

sagal ghattaa kaa antharajaamee ||1|| rehaao ||

He is the Inner-knower, the Searcher of Hearts. ||1||Pause||

<br class="clearer">ਸੋਇ ਅਚਿੰਤਾ ਜਾਗਿ ਅਚਿੰਤਾ ॥

soe achinthaa jaag achinthaa ||

I sleep without worry, and I awake without worry.

<br class="clearer">ਜਹਾ ਕਹਾਂ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਤੂੰ ਵਰਤੰਤਾ ॥੨॥

jehaa kehaan prabh thoon varathanthaa ||2||

You, O God, are pervading everywhere. ||2||

<br class="clearer">ਘਰਿ ਸੁਖਿ ਵਸਿਆ ਬਾਹਰਿ ਸੁਖੁ ਪਾਇਆ ॥

ghar sukh vasiaa baahar sukh paaeiaa ||

I dwell in peace in my home, and I am at peace outside.

<br class="clearer">ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਗੁਰਿ ਮੰਤ੍ਰੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਇਆ ॥੩॥੨॥

kahu naanak gur manthra dhrirraaeiaa ||3||2||

Says Nanak, the Guru has implanted His Mantra within me. ||3||2||

[kds1980]

Let me give you some practical advice, it may sound ridiculous to you, but I think it has a good shot of working.

Seems to me that you are in this misery for 2 reasons:

- parents expectations of you

- your willingness to match their expectations combined with the fact you have been unable to do so

So, the plan goes something like this:

1. Rent the bollywood movie called '3 idiots'. I know that bollywood movies have a bad rep, but this is the only bollywood movie I have seen in over 10 years and I must say I LOVED IT! This movie so brilliantly portrays the condition of a large majority of students of Indian origin

2. Watch the movie your self first, you will likely cry. Don't hold back! Let it all out!!!

3. Watch the movie again but this time with your parents, as a family

3. Once the movie finishes, tell your parents in great detail of your own condition that their expectation has put you through.

I'm sure once you do this, they will understand. No parent wants their child to suffer, they are pushing you to become a doctor because they think (even though we know it's not true, my parents do this too) that having a good degree will give you respect (and money) and allow you to live in society with your head help up high. Also, it helps their 'societal status', especially when it comes to marriage. I'm not sure about India, but in western countries such as England, US, and Canada, one can easily make a decent living without having a fancy degree.

Now, go and implement the plan. I hope to see another update from you in the coming days to see how it went

LOL Don't advise anyobdy to watch a movie.The big difference between films and real life is that in most films ending is always good.,While in real life there is no gurantee that you will get success.The movie 3 idiots was based on a novel.In the Novel the ending was that all those 3 end up doing low paying jobs the film changed it and shown them as very highly successful because it is all we want to see.

[SarabhaPanjab]

[VanHelsingh]

When something is not in your karma, no matter how hard you work, you will not get it. The only solution is to change goals or to improve your karam. Karma can be improved through NISHKAAM simran and seva, proper sangat helps a lot (gurdwara), and watching your thoughts to prevent paap as paap destroys our good karams.

............One thing I've learned about life is that its full of change. I sometimes feel the lows are there to build up character qualities, and to carve the cup of character; though it's painful a well carved cup means that we can hold more God inside of us.

Excellent, valid points. I cannot stress how much I agree with the above.

Whilst I don't advocate giving up on a dream as soon as a few obstacles are encountered (not that I'm saying this is what SunSingh stated), you never know - they could be obstacles placed in your path by God to test if you REALLY do want to achieve that dream, and whether you are willing to fight through adversity to attain whatever it is you desire.

Giving up at the first hurdle is not what Sikhs are renowned for. One only has to look at our history to discover occasions when we've achieved victory even though insurmountable barriers were placed in our way. Again, I'm not stating that SunSingh advocated giving up - I'm just presenting my own 'spin' on proceedings.

Although in the case of the original poster, I appreciate that your parent's expectations of what you should achieve, do not match your own. I think the best course of action is to have a sit-down with the folks and thrash it out. I only hope your parents are able to understand your thoughts and feelings.

[OhTwadi]

LOL Don't advise anyobdy to watch a movie.The big difference between films and real life is that in most films ending is always good.,While in real life there is no gurantee that you will get success.The movie 3 idiots was based on a novel.In the Novel the ending was that all those 3 end up doing low paying jobs the film changed it and shown them as very highly successful because it is all we want to see.

You completely missed the point I was trying to make, but thanks for trying

[Guest Hopeless Abyss]

I'm out of town right now and I found out my mom didn't pass her examination test for becoming a PA, it was the second time she failed the test.

My dad isn't understanding at all, he called my sister today cussing and saying how much of failures we were and how my mom wasted so much time and money for going to the PA school and failing the test the second time. He threatened to leave and get his own apartment saying we were going to lose our house ect. ect.. The first time she didn't pass because she was pan iced, she did well and placed really high on all her practice exams she took. I think she was kind of panicked and wasn't allowed to study as much as she could have for her second test because of the burden she has.

This is the kind of environment I come from, my dad goes about saying if you need "tutors" I can pay for it when final exams come around. The rest of the time nothing, he goes and just makes money through his business. Sure, he's working hard and we appreciate it but money isn't everything...our family has consistently gone through horrible luck financially and emotionally, i know it could be a lot worse, and I really don't care about what has happened. My dad, though, doesn't take it well. I don't even know what to type or what to say...

I guess i just need a place to vent...

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