Sikh Girl In Love With Muslim Guy

[Guest Raman56]

I'm a 20 year old Sikh girl. My family are religious and quite strict. I met a Muslim guy, 22, and began a relationship with him two years ago. At first everyone around me told me this was a bad idea. I didn't listen like the <banned word filter activated> that I am and just thought it wouldn't ever turn into anything serious. Obviously time passed and we both fell for one another, I have so much love for him and he makes me so happy. I've been through so much with him and he's always treated me with love and respect. There's nothing about him I could fault. He isn't very religious, open minded about other religions and believes asking someone to convert is wrong because it would change the person he fell in love with, I agree with him. I know I'm still young and I shouldn't be making any haste decisions right away but I can't seem to break up with him because I love him so much and can't see my life without him. At the same time I know my family would never approve. NEVER. I feel so lonely and confused because I've fallen for him and the thought of being without him makes me feel so f****d up (excuse my language). I know there are many Muslims that convert girls intentionally, especially Sikh girls but the guy I'm

In love with isn't bothered about religions, society etc etc. We just love each other for who we are. For how we make one another feel which is so happy. I know that family is important but my happiness is with him only. I can't see myself without him even if it was the right thing to do. I feel so stuck, so hurt and confused. I don't even feel like living if it isn't with him. I really think he is the one for me, I don't even know why exactly I've posted in this forum but maybe hearing some ppls experiences or advise might help as I have no one to talk to, I am so lonely

[dalsingh101]

After all the warnings to apneean about not getting themselves in situations like this - you go and do it anyway.......what does that tell us about you?

And now, barely out of your teens, you are talking that Heer Ranjha stuff like you are the first person to ever feel like this.

To me you are just yet another Sikh girl who is disgracing her community. Thanks a lot for that.

Honestly, how do you expect us to feel about what you are doing???

Seriously, I would hate for any female relative of mine to be doing what you are.

I've heard exactly the same crap about 'my bloke, he isn't religious and all that' a dozen times before from apneean, who you then find have converted a few years down the line anyway. So a lot of girls in your position are incapable of actually seeing reality as it is. Besides even if you don't convert, it's still besti for your family.

What do you want us to say?

Straighten your head out, realise it was foolish to get into the thing in the first place and GET OUT, however 'hard' you may find it.

[VanHelsingh]

As soon as you're married to the guy (or run-off with him), he WILL begin concerning himself about religion, specifically your religion and how it needs to change to Islam.

Anyway, it's your life. Good luck and I hope things turn out well for you if you decide this guy isn't for you. I hope you buck the trend but I ain't holding my breath and neither should you.

[SarabjeetS]

Only love Waheguru . Mine was an even stranger case --- I am a guy who was in love with guys . Now , Waheguru is giving me strength to come out of this miserable plight !

CRUSHES are rightly called so because they are best way to crush your heart ! which is not a good thing at all , considering that you are left with a broken heart and a feeling of helplessness and misery .

I have reached this conclusion that we all should be in simran of Waheguru and he alone should be our only lover - who would never die and never leave us !

[VanHelsingh]

Only love Waheguru . Mine was an even stranger case --- I am a guy who was in love with guys . Now , Waheguru is giving me strength to come out of this miserable plight !

In less than one week?!? Bravo!

[Guest Raman56]

Dalsingh- I've heard of Sikh girls running away and converting etc etc. I've heard it all and I know it happens. I know I'm young but I ain't thick. I'm never going to convert to a religion, especially Islam. I respect and love my religion, obviously not religious though or I wouldn't have done this in the first place. Getting in a relationship with him was obviously a mistake, I'm learning the hard way. I didn't ask you to say anything to me if you didn't want to. I'm trying to do the right thing and move on but I'm struggling so much. I asked for help and advice on this, not you ranting and giving me a lecture of how wrong I am because I already know in society and within Sikh families it is considered wrong.

[OhTwadi]

I'm not really sure why you've started a thread when it seems you have already convinced yourself that you can not live without him. I just hope that some events unfold which stop you from taking steps which in all likely hood will ruin not only your life but that of your loved ones as well.

PS. I didn't think I was thick either when I was mere 20 years old. Now at 27 years of age, I look back and see how stupid and foolish I really was back then. I'm sure at 35 I will look back and see how stupid I was at 27 and the cycle will continue...

PPS. There is absolutely nothing anyone can say you to provide any help. You have dug this hole yourself and only you can figure out a way out of it. They key is not to forget that you can come out of it. Perhaps others can shine a light to make you see a path, but in the end you have to walk toward it yourself.

[dalsingh101]

Dalsingh- I've heard of Sikh girls running away and converting etc etc. I've heard it all and I know it happens. I know I'm young but I ain't thick. I'm never going to convert to a religion, especially Islam.

So that makes doing what you are doing okay then does it?

I respect and love my religion, obviously not religious though or I wouldn't have done this in the first place. Getting in a relationship with him was obviously a mistake, I'm learning the hard way. I didn't ask you to say anything to me if you didn't want to. I'm trying to do the right thing and move on but I'm struggling so much. I asked for help and advice on this, not you ranting and giving me a lecture of how wrong I am because I already know in society and within Sikh families it is considered wrong.

When you posted this on a Sikh forum, you should've expected varying reactions???

It might just help for you to try and see outside of solely your own subjective experience. What kind of role model are you being for young Sikh girls in your family or even some young Sikh girl in my family for instance? Think about that.

Are you really that surprised that some people will be pretty disgusted with your situation? Seriously?

How do you expect people, who've gone out of their way to affiliate themselves with Sikhi, by joining a Sikh forum, to react? However you cut it, this is just disloyalty at the end of the day. Disloyalty to your family, disloyalty to your faith and even culture.

If you get married to a Sikh in future, how would a Sikh guy feel, if he learns his missus was a previous casual lover of a sullah? Or a Sikh child of yours. What Sikh boy wants to hear that about his mother? No to mention the fact that Muslim like to throw this very stuff in other communities faces.

I find it hard to believe you respect and love your religion or culture given how you've just dragged their name in the mud.

And maybe you do need direct, no nonsense talking to, as opposed to 'girlie talk' type sympathy that would probably just strengthen the silly notions you have in your head at the moment???

None of us are angels (me included) but what you are doing is causing BIG problems for yourself and your community. I for one am sick of apneean doing this just because they fancied some bloke.

I'm sorry, but that is the truth.

Certain people go through females to attack and undermine the fabric of other communities. It isn't just Muslims, Anglos do it too. You've gone and plonked yourself on the front line of this type of crap.

Well done.

[Guest Raman56]

I don't know why people can't realise that even though majority of Muslims do this kind of brainwashing converting thing, there are some who aren't all about that. I don't believe my boyfriend would ever ask me to do that, never has he and never will he. Ive known him nearly three years. He's human at the end of the day and has never spoken badly of my religion or anyone elses. He is a good person and has always treated me right, supported me through everything. Instead of encouraging me to do the wrong thing like going out late nights, fighting with parents, he has made sure I would do the opposite and encourage me to focus on my studies etc etc. I don't understand why if you love someone and are happy with them then why is it so wrong to see a future with that person. If my family love me unconditionally then why wouldn't they accept that if I'm happy then what's the crime in what I'm doing. I don't care about society or besti or whatever because society talk <banned word filter activated> about everyone whether they are good people or not. None of that is a concern to me because I don't live by the typical gossiping freshy society. I've heard stories ofSikh Muslim marriages working in the past, if the two people are willing to

Compromise and be open minded to each others beliefs and values. Why can't it be possible? Or am I just talking crap and living in la la land. I don't know I'm so confused. One minute I think I should end it because it's easier that way and maybe I'm doing the wrong thing but one minute I think if it makes me happy then why not because life is too short to live by what everyone else thinks is right, if he's the one then why can't I be with him. Maybe family would eventually come around. Please don't start attacking me straight away if you disagree with anything I'm saying, just give your opinion and try and put yourself in my position before you start hating.

[Guest Raman56]

You lot are right.

I've f****d up. I'm too young for this crap. I don't even know what love is. I'm Such a tw*t. I don't know what I was expecting, some sort of medal or some s*it