Marriage - The Process Of Having Kids

[Guest Innocent]

wgkk wgkf...I wanted to ask a quite "sensitive" but mature question - when a Gursikh couple get married; and after some time eventually its considered normal to wanting to start a family;...... as a young female I find it so scary and feel anxious about the actual process of producing children....... - hope you understand which "process" I am talking about. Am sure everyone is nervous and shy etc about being in physical contact with their other half...... but at the moment I am just finding it difficult to even imagine how your supposed to even suggest/begin the process...... (am not talking about the rehat maryada i.e. ishnaan, ardaas etc ... i mean in the beginning of the actual physcial contact). .....I think it must be harder espcially when your married to a Gursikh that you already know .......- as in you have seen around where you live or your local gurdwara and once or twice respectfully spoke in programs, general etc - nothing like boyfriend or girlfriend or 'dirty' stuff - just general sangat.

Any advice/comments/thoughts.....?

Please only reply with mature comments....wgkk wgkf

[Guest Guest]

Firstly don't worry too much, it's a Natural thing.

Humans, even animals have been doing it for ages without sex education.

*removed*

[Guest .]

Nobody can answer your question. This is not an appropriate question to discuss in public. When you get married, you can speak to your partner about such matters. Don't even know why this topic was allowed, to be honest.

[Guest Astonished]

wait a second, your married and have'nt proceeded into the process?

I would highly recommend seeking the council of a marriage advisor.

[Guest suhaagan_dharam]

hmm there is a "ritual" that is supposed to happen on suhaag night between the new couple, and if it doesn't happen its considered rather disrespectful to the partner. Its not very traditional if it hasn't happened, it might not even be dharmik either !

[DalbirSingh]

Just wash after go see a gp.

[Guest Singhni]

You guys are jokers!

hmm there is a "ritual" that is supposed to happen on suhaag night between the new couple, and if it doesn't happen its considered rather disrespectful to the partner. Its not very traditional if it hasn't happened, it might not even be dharmik either !

Lol wut. Surely this cultural tradition is against Sikhi and the restriction of kaam? How does anti traditional equate to anti dharmic? :|

Nobody can answer your question. This is not an appropriate question to discuss in public. When you get married, you can speak to your partner about such matters. Don't even know why this topic was allowed, to be honest.

No one's going to ask about this in real life, it's scary enough doing it anonymously on a Sikh forum but in real life there's no way... most people question what they'd be getting in to before they actually get into it. Although, most people never find out, because of it's a taboo subjec that nobody can talk about.

wait a second, your married and have'nt proceeded into the process?

I would highly recommend seeking the council of a marriage advisor.

WHAT! Firstly, did I miss something, where did she say she's married? Secondly, I thought that within marriage the only time for intercourse was for procreation purposes, any other sexual interaction would involve kaam- it always does, so I don't know why you're portraying it to be unnatural or weird for a Gursikh marriage to not involved regular sexual activity. Why is kaam okay to induldge in after marriage if the purpose isn't to make kids? Gurbani talks about lust as one of the panj chors, that applies after marriage as well as before, surely. If you could shed some light on this that'd be great.

To the original poster: I'm scared too, but I don't know the answers.

[scooter]

Do you really don't know what will happen and what to do or you want to know how to proceed for start. i think if that is the case you don't need to do anything. Boys mostly knows everything how to do what to do.Just stay calm and do normal talking , he will make first move

[Guest Halo]

Firstly, such topics should be discussed otherwise it only promotes fear

Secondly, original poster, I think this is something many women worry about, I know its something that definitely scares me. Trust is a something that is a vital part of marriage and you need to trust your husband/husband to be enough to have a conversation about sex with them, a good husband should listen and discuss your concerns and fears with you. If you don't trust your partner enough to have a conversation about sex then you definitely aren't ready to do the physical act with them.

As another poster said, humans and animals have been having sex since the beginning of time without any sex education, it is a difficult topic for us but it is a natural process. When the time comes, talk to your partner about it, until you can do that, the physical act will remain incredibly scary

[Guest Really?]

''Secondly, I thought that within marriage the only time for intercourse was for procreation purposes, any other sexual interaction would involve kaam- it always does''

I would just like to know why there can be no regular sexual activity between an amritdhari couple after marriage? Sex just to have kids? Really! Surely the kaam explanation applies to extra-marital sex?