Keeping Your Kesh Earlier Vs. Later In Life (Want Some Input)

[californiasardar1]

Parents and grandparents that came to the western countries faced 100 times worse racism than any kid today would face. And these elders never did away with their uncut hair. Instead they showed the racist people what they are made of by making something of themselves. Take a chance to listen to these elders stories of racism. They seriously laugh when they hear all these youth crying over getting bullied over just having a Dastar. No one is throwing beer bottles at us, no one is taking your work away because you are minority, no one is spitting on you and telling you to leave the west, no one is beating you at work, where you're unable to press charges. They paved the road already for us and we still lose heart because some white girl looks at you different and then giggles in your direction with her friend. My bad now it's a insecure brown girl, who has no self respect and cries herself to sleep because she hates how she looks without make up and doesn't have enough money for plastic surgery to cover her ugly spots up permanently.

Those brothers that are feeling low on cofidence, please read Sri Chandi di Vaar in the language you understand what Guru Sahib is saying. You will gain the strength to face these very small issues.

What about the discrimination from our own?

I hear what you are saying and understand that a lot of people have to deal with racism and discrimination of some sort. But I think what makes the challenge unique nowadays for keshdari Sikhs is that there is no real community they can call their own except for other keshdari Sikhs (who are extremely small in number).

Our parents and grandparents who moved to the west faced discrimination, but not from their mona Sikh counterparts.

[singher23]

If you cut your hair who do you become? Just another brown kid...and a lot of them aren't brimming with confidence either.

Growing up in US, I was harassed a lot, and wanted to cut my hair. Once my dadima came to visit, and I told her how I was feeling. She told me the story of Bhai Mani Singh Ji, and I never thought about cutting it again. It honestly has nothing to do with turban or no turban. It's all about personality, like only five said.

In regards to the topic of Monas making fun of Sikhs, that's something that I honestly have not experienced or even heard about before reading this thread. Maybe it has something to do with me living in a small town in New York where there are only about 50 Sikh families.

[Only five]

What about the discrimination from our own?

I hear what you are saying and understand that a lot of people have to deal with racism and discrimination of some sort. But I think what makes the challenge unique nowadays for keshdari Sikhs is that there is no real community they can call their own except for other keshdari Sikhs (who are extremely small in number).

Our parents and grandparents who moved to the west faced discrimination, but not from their mona Sikh counterparts.

What to do with the mona Sikh that don't respect Sikhs with uncut hair.

1) Ignore them...walk away with a smile on your face. Strenght come from reading Gurbani and contemplating over it. If it wasn't for Gurbani i would be just like any regular kid with all the insecurities in the world. If you can even read a tuk of Gurbani before going out or read a pauri, you will be influenced by it and these mona, sehajdhari Sikhs negative remarks won't bother you

2) if they are not drunk and are being bunch of clowns, then give a proper response without getting angry. Most of the time the response is going to be a question that makes them think in a spiritual way, but cuz of their lack of spirituality they will say something stupid. Again ask another question and eventually the clowns will get the picture. Mona and sehajdhari and amritdharis who act like clowns are really scared of people that are on the Gursikh path. They know if they hurt you emotionally that Sri Vaheguru Ji Maharaj will punish them and majority live in fear so deep down they are weak. They only got the confidence to say something because the are roling with their giddar buddies. They have a giddar pack mentality and individually their tails are between their legs. But in order to do this a person has to have spiritual wisdom and be humble enough to understand the situation. Again where do we get this spiritual wisdom and humility.....from reading Gurbani and contemplating over it.

3) This one works if you have much Bani memorized and know which tuk to sing to get them to realize the mistake they are making. Majority of the time they respond with....this guy thinks hes some kind of big Baba.....thats when you start singing a different tuk out loud where they just either get annoyed because they are unable to make fun of you or they finally get the point and shut their mouths.

Utlimately there are some that will never stop and getting in fights with them will only cause our jeevan to suffer. So best thing to do is just walk away and if you can't walk away, pretend like they are not there. Growing up i faced punjabis, elders, youth, young kids at my age saying a lot of stuff. Recently two bibi were trying to pull this stuff and i just didn't react to it. Instead i smiled back at them and thats when it hits home to them that i knew deep down they are very insecure about their looks and they wear make up to cover up the mistakes. It was amazing just one smile and these two bibian completely shut up. I don't know how old you are but majority of the world tease others because they are insecure about themselves. So if you show to them that you are confident in your own skin then they shut up. Again you can only be confident in your own skin if you are reading Gurbani and contemplating over it.

We can never make everyone stop their bad habits. So we need to find ways to deal with these people. We know they are being fools, so why be fools like them and let the teasing get to us. The scariest thing for mona and sehajdharis is a Sikh who can be confident in a Dastar and have uncut hair. They fear you and it shouldn't be the other way around.

[Sherdil]

As those of you who've read my thread on marriage might know, in my experience, keeping your kesh can be very challenging nowadays.

It's not that challenging. No offense ji, but your experiences are out of the ordinary.

I've wondered sometimes if I had grown up with cut hair if I might have developed into a more confident, outgoing person. Perhaps I would not have shied away and kept to myself at times that I did. And maybe I would not walk through life with a chip on my shoulder feeling bitter and angry.

This is your personal struggle. I'm sorry you had such a troubled past, but why are you putting all the blame on your dastaar? I think you may be using it as a scapegoat, instead of analyzing yourself honestly.

I've thought about the future of our religion and I think as hard as it has been for boys of my generation to keep uncut hair, it will be exponentially harder for boys growing up 20-30 years from now. At least now, most other Sikhs who are monas with cut hair still have grandparents or cousins or someone who keep their kesh. So when they see somebody like me, most of them (but by no means all) think of me as someone from their community. That will not be true in 20-30 years when 95% of Sikhs grow up without being related to anyone with uncut hair. When they see a boy with a pag, they'll think he's some backwards, fundamentalist "other", just like many non-Sikhs today do.

95%? That's a bold estimate. Don't be so pessimistic. Sikhs have been around for hundreds of years. The Mughals put a price on our heads. We were forced into the jungles, but we came back and established Khalsa raj. We will always bounce back. There will always be sardars around. Don't worry so much.

I'm wondering if a more practical path than keeping your kesh from birth and feeling like an outcast your whole life might be starting out with cut hair and keeping it once you've grown up and established yourself. Maybe then, you wouldn't have to deal with such an unsupportive environment as a child, and you could grow up without the same emotional scars. You could develop personality, get married, etc. And then as a mature person who is not in need of belonging, you can embrace the Sikhi saroop.

It makes me sad that you feel like an outcast. I wish I knew what you were going through, but honestly I haven't met many Singhs that share your experiences. If a sardar child is having trouble at school, then there is always support at the local gurdwara. Also ji, other Singhs don't have trouble getting married. I'm not sure why you are having so many difficulties. Maybe it would be wise to seek out some professional help in order to get to the real cause of your unique issues.

To answer the main question of the topic: I don't think it is a good idea to cut every Sikh child's hair when they are young, with the hope that they may regrow it when they are older. We are not supposed to cut our hair, so then how does cutting everyone's hair save our religion? I think we need to think about this issue with a calm and clear mind so as not to jump to irrational conclusions.

[VanHelsingh]

...Recently two bibi were trying to pull this stuff and i just didn't react to it. Instead i smiled back at them and thats when it hits home to them that i knew deep down they are very insecure about their looks and they wear make up to cover up the mistakes. It was amazing just one smile and these two bibian completely shut up.

Veer Ji, kisse nu tah maaf karo! Pachaariyaa bibiya deh pesh bhegeh! :biggrin2:

Although if its not too much of a personal matter, what exactly were these bibiya trying to do? Were they Gursikh bibis or not? I'm curious what kind of stuff they were trying to pull and how you responded to them. It would give persons such as myself some much needed advice and guidance if we ever find ourselves in similar situations.

[Only five]

Veer Ji, kisse nu tah maaf karo! Pachaariyaa bibiya deh pesh bhegeh! :biggrin2:

We got a comedian here.....lol...gotta admit the above is funny.

Although if its not too much of a personal matter, what exactly were these bibiya trying to do? Were they Gursikh bibis or not? I'm curious what kind of stuff they were trying to pull and how you responded to them. It would give persons such as myself some much needed advice and guidance if we ever find ourselves in similar situations.

I'd rather not say......

[VanHelsingh]

We got a comedian here.....lol...gotta admit the above is funny.

I'd rather not say......

I'm guessing it happened during the Vaisakhi festivities over the weekend. Oh well if you ever want to share what went down I'm all ears.