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Desire to Trim Beard


singhmankaran
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I am a 21 year old Sikh Male...I am really obsessed with my Appearance and I always look myself in Mirror of how I am looking...The most common problem with me is That I can't tie a Turban perfectly and I have loosened my Faith in having Hair When my Turban doesn't come in Shape I think about seeing the Turban Trainer's door so that he can tie my Turban but I can't tie perfectly my Turban like them....I have a Goatee neither I know how to Tie my Beard perfectly..Some of people have given a lot of bad comments on my Goatee and the way I tie the Turban and at end I thought about cutting hair at once but due to fear of My dad I stopped and I thought The society will also tell me that you are wrong and Sinner...Although I am that sort of Guy who is really Honest,Innocent,Straight Forward,Humble Type of Guy I get a lot depress on little things..I honestly say I don't run behind Girls neither I Chase Girls..neither I slander anyone..neither I smoke nor eat Drugs which is against Sikhism...I do Drink though but occasionaly....I am a God loving person I do go to Gurdwara believe in Sikhism and know a lot of history about Sikhism...I have suffered from Anxiety and Anger issues like getting Violent over little things In past sometimes I would even hit people with Benches as a child But when some people talk about My appearance or way of Dressing I lose myself In Life I can't struggle in Life For a month I have been Sitting at home doing nothing Or else I would just study some Books or so neither I go to College much Neither I have much friends I don't know what is Friendship even I love sports though and a really SPorty Guy and it makes me happier but I get depress on little things and when someone talks about my appearance I only see Barbers Door but then I step behind because of Fear of My Dad that his Jutti will be on my head??i have been running behind Baba's they tell me that some one has done Magic Spell on uuh and It was true when my neighbour throw Burnt ash on my head in 2006??and mixed something in my Ladoo (parshad) I got Sick from that time..

I am that guy who doesn't know what Is World (Duniyadaari) neither I take much interest in Business I have completed my +2 Commerce and currently studying in College....I had a hard life in Past suffered from depression for 10 months in 2006 when I changed my School as I was Teased,Bullied I take things too Lightly I am that sort of guy who whatever thinks he does... And I am really Nostalgic who always thinks about Past in Life...I honestly say I am the Relative of a High Saint Family in Delhi Though who always do Paath and Puja but I don't consider myself able with them as I can never be....My family always go To nanaksar gurdwara (jagraon) during festive events..I am a relative of Sant Sujan Singh Ji and my grandfather was real brother of Him who also did a lot of Paath and Puja,going to Gurdwara and my grandmom did Kirtan at Gurdwara as well they both are expired though and I was lonely and depressed as well after they expired....I am a keshdhari Sikh means I don't cut my hair though but have desire my roots are of High saint family so I always stop myself

Please Give me any advice how to Win in Life?How to struggle??I thought this website is the best website which has the answer to my question??I think myself as a Failed guy I can be winner but I don't find anything in Life...how to make my career

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I am a 21 year old Sikh Male...I am really obsessed with my Appearance and I always look myself in Mirror of how I am looking...The most common problem with me is That I can't tie a Turban perfectly and I have loosened my Faith in having Hair When my Turban doesn't come in Shape I think about seeing the Turban Trainer's door so that he can tie my Turban but I can't tie perfectly my Turban like them....I have a Goatee neither I know how to Tie my Beard perfectly..Some of people have given a lot of bad comments on my Goatee and the way I tie the Turban and at end I thought about cutting hair at once but due to fear of My dad I stopped and I thought The society will also tell me that you are wrong and Sinner...Although I am that sort of Guy who is really Honest,Innocent,Straight Forward,Humble Type of Guy I get a lot depress on little things..I honestly say I don't run behind Girls neither I Chase Girls..neither I slander anyone..neither I smoke nor eat Drugs which is against Sikhism...I do Drink though but occasionaly....I am a God loving person I do go to Gurdwara believe in Sikhism and know a lot of history about Sikhism...I have suffered from Anxiety and Anger issues like getting Violent over little things In past sometimes I would even hit people with Benches as a child But when some people talk about My appearance or way of Dressing I lose myself In Life I can't struggle in Life For a month I have been Sitting at home doing nothing Or else I would just study some Books or so neither I go to College much Neither I have much friends I don't know what is Friendship even I love sports though and a really SPorty Guy and it makes me happier but I get depress on little things and when someone talks about my appearance I only see Barbers Door but then I step behind because of Fear of My Dad that his Jutti will be on my head??i have been running behind Baba's they tell me that some one has done Magic Spell on uuh and It was true when my neighbour throw Burnt ash on my head in 2006??and mixed something in my Ladoo (parshad) I got Sick from that time..

I am that guy who doesn't know what Is World (Duniyadaari) neither I take much interest in Business I have completed my +2 Commerce and currently studying in College....I had a hard life in Past suffered from depression for 10 months in 2006 when I changed my School as I was Teased,Bullied I take things too Lightly I am that sort of guy who whatever thinks he does... And I am really Nostalgic who always thinks about Past in Life...I honestly say I am the Relative of a High Saint Family in Delhi Though who always do Paath and Puja but I don't consider myself able with them as I can never be....My family always go To nanaksar gurdwara (jagraon) during festive events..I am a relative of Sant Sujan Singh Ji and my grandfather was real brother of Him who also did a lot of Paath and Puja,going to Gurdwara and my grandmom did Kirtan at Gurdwara as well they both are expired though and I was lonely and depressed as well after they expired....I am a keshdhari Sikh means I don't cut my hair though but have desire my roots are of High saint family so I always stop myself

Please Give me any advice how to Win in Life?How to struggle??I thought this website is the best website which has the answer to my question??I think myself as a Failed guy I can be winner but I don't find anything in Life...how to make my career

I cried reading that honestly.

You made 2 contrasting coments. You went to a fake baba! when you got REAL saints like nanaksarr wale. The sant that convinces you of black magic is wrong. I believe in sants and baba but only the good not the ones that say something has been done to you by neighbour.

look this is where the problem lies, just stare at yourself in the mirror without making any effort to look good, like bed hair, drowsy eyes etc. look into your eyes and convince yourself that there are people in the world that will find you gorgeous.

Tell yourself you are beautiful. look, there are people living with horrible diseases. just look at Guru Ji's 4 sons that gave their lives for US! at such young ages, because they loved Sikhi. Trust me you are a beautiful being, and besides beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder...........

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I cried reading that honestly.

You made 2 contrasting coments. You went to a fake baba! when you got REAL saints like nanaksarr wale. The sant that convinces you of black magic is wrong. I believe in sants and baba but only the good not the ones that say something has been done to you by neighbour.

look this is where the problem lies, just stare at yourself in the mirror without making any effort to look good, like bed hair, drowsy eyes etc. look into your eyes and convince yourself that there are people in the world that will find you gorgeous.

Tell yourself you are beautiful. look, there are people living with horrible diseases. just look at Guru Ji's 4 sons that gave their lives for US! at such young ages, because they loved Sikhi. Trust me you are a beautiful being, and besides beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder...........

But Sir I have myself seen my neighbour throwing burnt ash on my head in 2006 then she Hid her face.....I never believed in these things myself but when it happened with me I had horrible dreams I could'nt sleep whole night I have something like Hallucinations seeing Dark Pictures...It all happened when I changed my school from Guru Nanak Public CBSE,Ludhiana to Guru Harkrishan Public,Ludhiana I lose everything then I came back to my school 10 months later everything was then OK.....Depression has been ruining my Life whole day No friend circle at that time No Support Nothing I had in My Life except Tears and Failure...I have been an average student in my School though

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I can understand how you might feel.
All I can say is... it is really your choice. Who do YOU want to please? God or society. I know its easy saying then doing. Here in the west is worse. People say worse things and don't even recognize you are a sikh, but muslim. But.... Sikhs who have high love for Waheguru, God has also given them high power to deal with these. I am not saying tolerate it... Educate them, ignore them because you know what you are doing is actually right, not wrong. People who are strong in Sikhi have a REASONS to keep their hair. The reasons are Hukam of our Father Guru Gobind Singh ji, Dasam Dwaar, power of Hair in spiritually.

We spend soo many lives pleasing people, but when will we start pleasing God who gives us love, food, family, clothing and everything!

And one thing I can garunteeee you! A person, who is Amritdhari, does full Nitnem... dark maggic and NEVER approach him/her. It is a fact! I have seen many many incidents! Because the person has power of Gurbani, power of Waheguru... and no magic is abover then His power. This also tells you how much Gurbani has power, and how much power hair has... Gurbani says to keep our hair in many many places!

You know Guru Sahib ji always says that in God's Court, the true and the false are separated out, while true Gursikhs go to Sanchkhand, false go to hell. Isnt it true in this world too? Even in this word... kaliyug.. only true once remain intact in sikhi, weak once go off path easily.

Choice is yours brother :) You are from a very good family where Sikhi was blessed to you by birth, here we have to FIND it.



Waheguru Ang Sang

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I think you lack Sangat of Gursikhs.

Start attending evening Deewaan at Dukhnivaran Sahib.

Then volunteer for Seva at Jorha Ghar, Langar hall, Chabeel etc

Try attending Shabad Chownki at Sukhaasan every now & then.

Do it for seven days and see !

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  • 1 year later...
Guest Manpreet

I think you should move to a location where you won't worry about society. I believe you should move somewhere in Toronto, like Brampton. I live in Michigan, but when I visited my cousin in Brampton, he too is a Sikh with a turban. And he also went through the same struggle you have about looks and what other people think. But after moving to Brampton, he realized mos of the people there are Sikhs. He then went to his neighbour (who is also a Sikh) and explained the trouble he was having. After, his neighbour explained/expressed to him that all Sikhs go through this period of doubt and what society thinks of them. But it is the persons choice of wether taking the route of Sikhism or Society. He then realized that Sikhs cannot stay alone, but stick toghether. I hope this helped you through this rough time you are having in your life, and I hope you pick the right path for your lifestyle.

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