How To Solve Matters Like This?

[savinderpalsingh]

WaheguruJiKaKhalsa!!WaheguruJiKiFateh!!

sangat ji,

im the only amritdhari in my family after my grandparents and my grandparent dont live with us.

today a guy in my lane was fighting , its a domestic dispute but i saw from far that he was wearing a gatra.

but it was night and i was not sure , so i went near and i saw him weaping a kirpan , he didnt had any hair and very little trimmed beard

and he was drunk,

My dad who drinks occasionally and goes around trying to help in these sort of matters was there too.

the drunkard , did sat sri akal to me and called me near.

me: are you drunk?

drunk guy: no sir , i dont have front tooth thats why i am sounding like this !

me: you are drunk and why are you wearing kirpan?

Drunkard:i took amrit long time ago and now im just wearping this.

i have never seen him wear a kirpan .

at this point i was really mad

Me: take your gatra off

him: yes i will soon

me: NOW!! you are running our image .

my dad started butting in

dad: oi you go home

Me:*stood there and asked him to take his kirpan off* couple of times.

after that the drunkard went .

i asked him again to take it off , he said he will

even if right now , it seems matter is solved but due to my dad's butting in . i was not able to see him take it off !!

All of the times i try best but i feel like i am putting our pita sahib e kamaal Sri Guru Gobind Singh ji down and feel sad due to things happening around me .

and lot of times even though matter seems resolved i end up with guilt inside me . that there might be something i didnt do right .

How to solve matters like this? i wanted to slap that <banned word filter activated> but i held back due to my dad being there .

most of the times matter is solved but situations like these make me feel ful of guilt anger and uneasy for long time and ending up asking for forgivness to shah e shehanshaah .

i did not start topic to boost anything just to tell how i've been feeling and feel

bhul chuk maff ji

WaheguruJiKaKhalsa!!WaheguruJiKiFateh!!

[Guest]

If I were you I would have slapped him hard.You should have forcibly taken the gatra off in my honest opinion.

[N30S1NGH]

If I was in your suitation, I would have wait until he got sober then talked to him about this, offer advise, sangat options and get his honest commitment about amrit.. We must use love and dya options dhoul dharam dya ka pooot ..dya is foundation of dharma. . than beating.. Beating, violence does not deal with underlining issues in mind with people it rather alienates, segregates them more.

[DSGj]

First of all, you have no right to hit him or rip the Kirpan off of him as long as he is not threatening anyone or being violent.

Instead of jumping to conclusions, you should have sat down and done veechaar with the guy and saw what the problem was in the first place and work to solve the problem from there.

Slapping someone and calling them dirty names does nothing but make the situation worse. With that type of mentality, you are no better than that guy and you yourself are shaming Guru Gobind Singh Jee, so who are you to say to the guy that he is ruining Sikh image, when you yourself are ruining it.

Who knows what kinds of problems the man is going through. Veechaar, empathy, understanding, consideration, love, etc is the way to go.

Let's not turn into the Punjab Police and have that typical 'desi' mentality.

[jasdeepsingh2k125]

[luckysingh99]

If I was in your suitation, I would have wait until he got sober then talked to him about this, offer advise, sangat options and get his honest commitment about amrit.. We must use love and dya options dhoul dharam dya ka pooot ..dya is foundation of dharma. . than beating.. Beating, violence does not deal with underlining issues in mind with people it rather alienates, segregates them more.

I totally agree with this too !

I know it's very difficult in the heat of the moment and the ghusah takes over with the anger in your eyes and fists clenching up.........

I have been in very similar situations many times.

However, because he was intoxicated, then you know it won't matter what you say or do at that moment, because he probably won't even remember !!!

Therefore, it's best to walk away in that heat of the moment and plan on speaking to him tomorrow or some time later.

The way to speak is to be comforting and supportive so that he doesn't feel alienated. But at the same time be FIRM and make it known that it is unacceptable for him to wear the kirpan.

Hopefully, he will think this through and realize. Then it's up to him what choice he makes on whether to carry on being a drunk or take the guru's path.

[sat]

I agree with n30singh and luckysingh, and sympathise with savinderpalsingh his reaction to slap this fool is understandable due to him (sp) being a young khalsa and the hot blood of youth (ahh i remember it well ).

Its seems the guilt of breaking his Rehat and dishonouring Amrit is manifesting its self in his behaviour and a polite talk once sober may even help to put him back on track however slight that chance maybe.

Seems Savinderpalsingh you have been blessed by Guru ji to try and bring someone back onto the path depends how you handle it now, but anger and frustration is not the way.