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You're gonna love this joke about GW Bush

Simran9

By Simran9,
in POLITICS | LIFESTYLE

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Simran9 Grand Master

Simran9

Posted
Posted

>President Bush meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your

Majesty,

>How do you run such an efficient government?

>Are there any tips you can give to me?"

>

>"Well," says the Queen," the most important thing is to surround

yourself

>with intelligent people."

>

>Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really

>intelligent?"

>

>The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to

answer

>an intelligence riddle." The Queen pushes a button on her intercom,

"Please

>send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

>

>Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"

>

>The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please Tony. Your mother and father

have

>a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister Who is it?"

>

>Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me."

>

>"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.

>

>Back in the U.S. Bush asks to speak with Vice President Mr. Cheney.

Bush

>says Mr. Cheney answer this for me." Your mother and your father have a

child.

> It's not your brother and it's not your sister.

>Who is it?"

>

>"I'm not sure," says Cheney. "Let me get back to you on that one."

>

>Mr. Cheney goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give

him

>an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin

>Powell's shoes in the next stall.

>

>Cheney shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and

father

>have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

>

>Colin Powell yells back, "That'

s easy. It's me!"

>

>Mr. Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"

>

>Cheney goes back to President Bush. "Say, I did some research and I

have

>the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."

>

>Bush gets up, stomps over to Mr. Cheney, and angrily yells into his

face,

>"No, you <banned word filter activated>! It's Tony Blair

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Guest vikramkhalsa

Guest vikramkhalsa

Posted
Posted

heres another one...

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can

you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.

Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"

Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."

Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.

Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove

yours?"

George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."

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Guest vikramkhalsa

Guest vikramkhalsa

Posted
Posted

Hu's On First

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader

of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of

China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.<

br>

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.

And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the

U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we

should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

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