I Don't Want To Have Kids

[simran345]

I'm talking about the few who think they are on higher spiritual levels than others, they know who they are, who if u don't agree with their views don't even have the decency to acknowledge messages and ignore when all u given them is respect. I feel now purposely they write on this site to create arguments, that's my meaning of sitting on internet all day to confuse.

I'm not talking about people who have their own opinions, read what I write and understand.

Yeah I do think youngsters are being encouraged away from family life, and being brainwashed by certain individuals, not just me, others think too that read this site.

The real thing is when somebody gets too intelligent it affects others, those others think they are only right and nobody else's views count.

Copy paste kari Jao.

[ekgurjaskhalsa]

I believe most people commenting here are not married. Some of them don't want to get married, some don't want kids.

Let me tell you, A long time ago, before coming into Sikhi( born into sikh family but never was a Sikh), I wanted to be a NUN as I got my schooling from a catholic school. I didn't want any family. No husband, no kids and wanted to stay away from my parents. That was my PLAN. Did it happen? NO

Guruji had different plans for me. Now I am Amritdhari, married and have a kid.

SO JUST CHILL!!

:biggrin2:

[luckysingh99]

Whether you have children or not, is a personal decision based on circumstances.

It has nothing to do with gurmat and it doesn't make anyone a more or a lesser sikh.

If someone is not ready to have children or can't foresee how they will manage parenthood, then fair-play to them, and they have every right to uphold their decision.

Stop brainwashing younger kids into thinking that they must have children if they want marriage to last.

There are many singhs and singhnis amongst us that have marriages based on securing permanent residencies, beating immigration laws and then having children just to secure the marriage.

Are some of these actually ready for children to fulfill gristi agenda or was the agenda something else ?

[Guest _name_]

Many of these replies seem like they are opinions of older Sikhs who were raised with the mentality of family and honour being greater than personal satisfaction. This value is not the one that has been taught to me. My mom and dad taught me that they were forced into certain roles to uphold family and the wishes of their parents, but all they want for their children is the freedom to do things they, themselves, were not able to. They want me to travel and experience things they never had the chance to. My parents want me and my brother to be able to go to school and expand our horizons; hopefully landing us with a good source of income to free us from financial struggles they had to face.

They want me to get married and have kids because they think it will give me the best future. Will it? Who knows!But they have given me the freedom to make my own choice.

This is so important to me personally and to our Sikh society as well. Our Gurus never imposed Sikhism on anyone; they gave a choice. Did half of you forget 1699, Vaisakhi Day? Guru Gobind Singh Ji asked for a head and Bhai Daya Ram stepped forward out of his own accord. Never did Guru Ji force him to run to that stage and sit in front of the sword. Through my own understanding and growing knowledge of Sikhi, what I get from it is that it is a LIFESTYLE, not a set of rules to follow. Sikhi is about having the free will to make choices and to reflect on how those choices will affect your soul and the souls of everything around you. Mindlessly agreeing to marry someone and raise kids will have no benefit to someone who does not want, and perhaps cannot handle, that lifestyle. Perhaps they want to go to India and provide medical aid to those who can't afford it. What if I want to raise money for myself to teach Brazilian children how to read? These are all choices I have beyond dutifully raising kids like my parents did. They ended up liking it, but they didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Anything could have happened. They could have hated having kids and being married (probably did at some point), but they stuck to the lifestyle because it's what they were "supposed to do". The teachings of the Gurus along with my parent's own values have given me insight that I have so many opportunities to do good in this world, not only for myself, but for others too. Having kids is an option, probably the most parent-approved option too, but Sikhi has given me the conscience and courage to have a choice, to say that I want something different, to say NO.

[simran345]

Then do what you want. If your parents are fine with it, why are you even asking on here. I have wasted my time on what I thought was trying to help, but I am missing the point somewhere, and after Ops last post have misunderstood the first post.

Still don't understand what the point being made is.

If it's aimed at those being forced to marry and giving options to do seva in their instead, great from that view as nobody should be forced to marry.

But really not getting who has to say no.

If you had put all this in your first post, there would have been no confusion. But it also sounds like you are belittling those that have got married. That isn't a very clever thing to pray do, as now your last post saying something different.

Your family is happy with you and you are happy, so why are you even trying to encourage youngsters not to get a life, If you think everybody has been forced that's wrong too.

Good luck with your personal satisfaction. But your posts are confusing, first you say your mom thinks your selfish, now its a totally different story. Good you want to do seva, go for and do it. And youngsters being forced to get married nowadays is not like before.

There is so much freedom compared to when your parents probably got married.

[Guest bachgaye gudi]

I have got older brother who was married to girl from India. The only reason she came here was because she did bad stuff back there and she wanted passport to freedom uk.

she done prostitution work and was well known.even auntie+uncle (bicholas) knew this but they good at hiding and ignoring.

Luckily my bro found out before they had kids but they were very close to having them. She was constantly demanding kids from day 1 cuz she knew her past would catch up and she needed security to stay in uk.

Like good bro lucksingh said above, that there is too many children born for wrong reasons..

whole indian society is messed up especially with older gens that think everything and everyone changes for better after weddingand then after having kids.

None of yous have any care for poor kids and you all feeding your sik egos.

[Questioner]

Just FYI sisters, if you hadn't already realised it: those of you who make your own life decisions have been misguided and brainwashed by some group or person. Silly disobedient girls.

(Sarcasm, for the bewildered).

[simran345]

Just FYI sisters, if you hadn't already realised it: those of you who make your own life decisions have been misguided and brainwashed by some group or person. Silly disobedient girls.

(Sarcasm, for the bewildered).

This does actually happen, believe it or not. Applies to males too, they also make wrong decisions from misguidance.

[BSingh87]

Then do what you want. If your parents are fine with it, why are you even asking on here. I have wasted my time on what I thought was trying to help, but I am missing the point somewhere, and after Ops last post have misunderstood the first post.

Still don't understand what the point being made is.

If it's aimed at those being forced to marry and giving options to do seva in their instead, great from that view as nobody should be forced to marry.

But really not getting who has to say no.

If you had put all this in your first post, there would have been no confusion. But it also sounds like you are belittling those that have got married. That isn't a very clever thing to pray do, as now your last post saying something different.

Your family is happy with you and you are happy, so why are you even trying to encourage youngsters not to get a life, If you think everybody has been forced that's wrong too.

Good luck with your personal satisfaction. But your posts are confusing, first you say your mom thinks your selfish, now its a totally different story. Good you want to do seva, go for and do it. And youngsters being forced to get married nowadays is not like before.

There is so much freedom compared to when your parents probably got married.

simran345, humility and compassion goes a long way. You disrespected the OP in a lot of ways, such as insulting her decision even though she's mentioned amazing things like doing seva and you expect equal "respect"?? We should think more about what we say because if it hurts someone it will most definitely affect our spiritual jeevan. The OP is a good person and shes shown that in her posts.

[simran345]

No I haven't disrespected her in any way. It's ur problem u can't understand what I have written and misinterpreted it.

All I said was do what she wants to if it makes her happy. Haven't u read my points about seva? Stop trying to cause trouble by picking out grammatical errors. But if u also read her first post and last post it is confusing, as I can't understand why she is asking if her parents don't have a problem with it, which is totally different from how the first post is portrayed.

Read it then u will see the confusion, and where did I say she is a bad person.

People sometimes like to create problems that don't exist, and that's what u have done. How dare u say that? No she has showed confusion to me and that's my opinion. I said nothing wrong to her, so I will not say sorry for something u have created. B Singh.

And as far as respect goes I am not asking it from u. I could also say u disrespected me. I think u are trying to create anger and frustration on this site thus a new account u come on here, but u know what I don't care, coz only God can judge me, not some trouble maker on the internet. So think what u like when u don't even know me.

God is not only watching me, but u too, for twisting my personal opinions into something which they are not, there wasn't even the need for u to comment on my views, maybe u are jealous that I have an opinion.

Humiliation would have been if I swore at her, or said bad things, or said she was a bad person, I did nothing of the sort. But thanks for being the judge.

If ur an existing member that's made a new account, I'd rather u message me and we can clear up any misunderstandings, instead of hiding in a new account, and bullying me. if I was humiliating anybody, it's funny how I seem to get members messaging me and telling me they like my views and complain about others, maybe coz they know I am not here to cause trouble but try to help when I can.

Maybe sometimes my advice don't make sense, but that could be due to my brain damage.

So if anybody has any issues with message me then if I feel I am wrong I will apologise to them regarding which issue. Which a lot of u know by now where I am wrong I always say sorry, if I honestly think I wrote nothing wrong, no need to say it.