Dilemma Of A Skeptic Sikh

[Guest ANONYMOUS]

Sat Sri Akal to anyone reading this.

I am a boy in his early teens. Thus far in my life if someone asked me what my religion was I would easily reply that I am Sikh. However, as I am heading towards adulthood, I have begun to feel a little hypocritical.

I was born and brought up in the USA. I have been to Punjab a few times as well. I am very connected with my culture as a Punjabi. Since childhood I have had a very warm relationship with my parents and we almost always speak Punjabi at home. In fact, I usually never speak with them in English. We are fond of Punjabi movies, music, food, Bhangra, etc. I feel fairly comfortable with my Punjabi heritage despite being raised in America.

Now in terms of Sikhi... When I was younger I would go to the Gurdwara with my parents. Usually the kids would not sit too long in the darbar hall and we would be outside in no time. Eventually for a short while I was in Punjabi class at the gurdwara. Here we were taught Japji Sahib. I learned 20 some pauris by the end of it. However, the truth is that I (along with most other kids in the class) simply memorized the pauris. I had very little knowledge of what was meant by them. Furthermore, I wasn't too interested in finding out. I mean I was like 8 or 9 yrs old. At this point in my life religion wasn't a very big deal.... I was busy being a kid.

Over the years I realized that I am not a very religious person. I am more culturally connected to Sikhi than I am spiritually connected. Whenever I go to the Gurdwara I usually just do Seva (in the kitchen or wherever it's needed) and never sit in the darbar hall. I never feel the need to pray either. I personally feel that praying will not change the cirumstances in my life and only I can change them. Thus, I prefer to rely on myself than on prayer to solve my problems. The honest truth is that I am not a very strong believer of God. I have deep respect for all of the Gurus and the many teachings of Guru Granth Sahib, but I do not have very strong belief (thus far) that there is a God. This skepticism did not just recently pop into my mind. I have had a level of disbelief for a very long time. I just never really voiced it.

I have been brought up with good morals and ethics. So, I don't go and do horrible things just because I lack a definitive belief in a deity. I respect everyone and try my very best to not harm anyone. My goals in life are to become a doctor and give my parents all the happiness I can. I would like to think I am a fairly decent human being and that is all I truly want to be. However, recently I have been thinking.... is this a common thing amongst other American Sikhs. Are many of them more culturally connected to sikhi than spiritually? I understand that Punjabi is a culture and Sikhism is a religion. However, I think we can all agree they overlap a lot (whether they should or shouldn't).

Lastly, would it be hypocritical of me to say that I am a Sikh even though deep down I personally question the existence of God. Please don't take this to mean that I think of our religion as a joke. I know a lot about Sikh history and have deep respect for our forefathers who fought for justice. Quite frankly, I don't want to separate myself from my heritage and religion. I just want to know if it is possible for me to be skeptical of the existence of God (until I come upon some evidence of his existence) and follow the many other teachings of equality, respect, service, etc. and refer to myself as a Sikh (rather than an atheist who would simply consider God an impossibility). I have no aims to try and become any more religious than I currently am. I just want to understand if doubting the existence of God will keep me from being a part of my rich heritage and eventually passing it on to my children.

I am sorry for the very long post. I hope I didn't offend anyone. Any comments are welcome. Thank you!

[singhbj singh]

There are many truths of which the full meaning cannot be realized until personal experience has brought it home.

John Stuart Mill

[buddasingh]

Skeptic Sikh. How do you know you for sure that you exist? Question your own existence and you'll find out what does exist.

Since we are being skeptics. I'll start by questioning your existence, how old are you exactly?

[Guptsingh95]

I have a similiar problem - http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/76268-im-losing-my-faith/#entry623019

[Guest RetroSikh]

Dear Writer,

firstly I must commend you for having the courage to put down what your inner thoughts and actual feelings are. There are many who would blindly follow something without questioning and testing what they are following. The truth is that being a good or bad Sikh is something that comes from within. You have described what a good person and Sikh is. Nobody could ask for more. Gurbani puts it into context and where these good morals came from in a world full of corruption and chase of Maya..

I wish you well, your a Good Sikh.. It doesn't need you to shout it from the roof tops..

Whaeguru Ji ka Khalsa, Whaeguru Ji ki Fathai

[Guest RetroSikh]

Dear Writer,

firstly I must commend you for having the courage to put down what your inner thoughts and actual feelings are. There are many who would blindly follow something without questioning and testing what they are following. The truth is that being a good or bad Sikh is something that comes from within. You have described what a good person and Sikh is. Nobody could ask for more. Gurbani puts it into context and where these good morals came from in a world full of corruption and chase of Maya..

I wish you well, your a Good Sikh.. It doesn't need you to shout it from the roof tops..

Whaeguru Ji ka Khalsa, Whaeguru Ji ki Fathai

[Guest ANONYMOUS]

Hello this is the OP.

I meant to say early twenties, not early teens. Sorry.

[buddasingh]

Hello this is the OP.

I meant to say early twenties, not early teens. Sorry.

FINAL ANSWER?

and you're born and brought up in the USA, where you meant to say early twenties but,

in your words a boy

and in your words also heading towards adulthood.

Are you a skeptic mind or a septic mind?

[hsingh8963]

Read the translations of bani. That will help a lot. Listen to Katha.

[ms514]

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

How much of Gurbani do you understand? If none or minimal, start there. Reading translations good, but Gurbani Keertan is also needed. The music will soften your mind and make the delivery of Gurbani to your mind much easier.

What you describe is a real deprivation of knowing what Gurbani says. If Katha attracts you, find a good Kathakaar on the internet and start to listen - Sant Waryam Singh, Bhai Sant Singh Maskeen, Bhai Pinderpal Singh, Baba Ranjit Singh, Bhai Paramjit Singh Khalsa are good starts.