Moneh-Amritdhari Interactions: Give Your Opinions

[Guest singhnee]

Thanks for your comments.

Vaheguroo Ji,

When I was coming into Sikhi, I found that interacting with Amritdharis was at times like trying to get blood out of a stone. I found some to be exclusive, not friendly, not welcoming or embracing when all I wanted was the Sangat of Gursikhs to aid me on my journey.

You have to remember that we're representing the Dharam. So when people look or want to interact with us, it's Sikhi they was to interact with. Alot of the time, it can be quite daunting for non-GurSikhs, and a smile or the latter making nice conversation (about anything) with the person is a really nice thing to do.

Even now, I see GurSikhs have an almost exclusive, superiority vibe about them, when all non-Sikhs want to do is have their Sangat. How do we expect to break down barriers if we look unapproachable?

It's important to be as inviting as possible

So to sum up, my expectations of GurSikhs is higher. Because they represent something higher..

My 2 cents.

My thoughts exactly.

But I don't live up to that inviting Gursikh ideal, being introverted and in my own world doesn't help.

Any ideas on how to go about it?

[simran345]

Thanks for your comments.

My thoughts exactly.

But I don't live up to that inviting Gursikh ideal, being introverted and in my own world doesn't help.

Any ideas on how to go about it?

Penji have u thought about doing some kind of seva where non-amritdharis are more likely to be?

Living in ur own world is not a bad thing either as you have your own journey too. But as long as you don't cut off totally from the world as one should live a gristhi jeevan too. It's great to see youth like you being concerned about these issues. Shows you have care for humanity.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Thanks for your comments.

My thoughts exactly.

But I don't live up to that inviting Gursikh ideal, being introverted and in my own world doesn't help.

Any ideas on how to go about it?

Go at your own pace, but don't just stay with only Anritdhari people, we know you need Sangat, but as Guru Nanak went to all people, you should respect all people.

[Truth5]

Go at your own pace, but don't just stay with only Anritdhari people, we know you need Sangat, but as Guru Nanak went to all people, you should respect all people.

Good sangat is important, but as I wrote in a previous post, sangat is also who u think of, not just who u sit with.

So if u sit with the Guru(who is also Gurbani) and always remember Gurbani then u always have good sangat, even if ur in the lowest hell realm in the throne room of Satan.

When ur in company of souls who do not practice Truth- just remember Gurbani which is the teacher/Guru- remember the lessons and apply them.

That is how we detach- stay lowest of the low- accept urself as Nothing(Truth) but an empty vessel for God to work through.

[Guest Sikh girl]

I try smiling at Sikh people if I am out shopping but most of the time they look like they are trying to avoid gaze or give a blank look. I don't think our people don't like seeing us, not sure why!

At one point I thought it was because I was a turban girl and so this made turban boys uncomfortable/wrong idea especially the 50:50 types with turbans but no beard. I did aan experiment and tried smiling at Sikh girls and I got the same blank response. Who knows what they think and why they blank

[simran345]

I try smiling at Sikh people if I am out shopping but most of the time they look like they are trying to avoid gaze or give a blank look. I don't think our people don't like seeing us, not sure why!

At one point I thought it was because I was a turban girl and so this made turban boys uncomfortable/wrong idea especially the 50:50 types with turbans but no beard. I did aan experiment and tried smiling at Sikh girls and I got the same blank response. Who knows what they think and why they blank

Penji it's not u that's the problem, it's the age we are in now. Nobody has time for any etiquette anymore or friendly gestures or just simple niceness. With the guys that's obvious as they wouldn't want to smile back to a girl for misunderstanding that could backfire on them so u should understand that bit. But in general it's not like old days where people appreciated a smile, helping hand etc as they are not used to it coz the world has become so self centred. Even neighbours don't exchange greetings no more. But we should try to bring back the community spirit as Sikhs are the community, for the community and the upcoming community.

[jkvlondon]

I try smiling at Sikh people if I am out shopping but most of the time they look like they are trying to avoid gaze or give a blank look. I don't think our people don't like seeing us, not sure why!

At one point I thought it was because I was a turban girl and so this made turban boys uncomfortable/wrong idea especially the 50:50 types with turbans but no beard. I did aan experiment and tried smiling at Sikh girls and I got the same blank response. Who knows what they think and why they blank

Maybe they're blank because the lights are on but no-one home LOL ... simple do your fateh as Guru ji instructed us and leave the rest to Guru ji , it is a real shame that Guru ji gave us a method to brings us close but people's 'superior mat' means they can't or wont do a fateh in first place, replace it with 'sass ri kaal' or cut it to ribbons with 'gurfateh' . Do full fateh with prem and Guru ji will give you his love don't worry.

[Guest Singhnee]

Penji have u thought about doing some kind of seva where non-amritdharis are more likely to be?

Living in ur own world is not a bad thing either as you have your own journey too. But as long as you don't cut off totally from the world as one should live a gristhi jeevan too. It's great to see youth like you being concerned about these issues. Shows you have care for humanity.

Aw thank you.

Let me just explain.

I do seva at a big yearly camp where lots of non-amritdharis go for the first time - I love it! It's a great opportunity to be friendly and inviting.

But the campers there want to learn, and they're generally receptive and friendly.

On the other hand, I live in an extremely gora area with just a couple of Gursikhs around. So when I go to the Gurdwara on a day when it's flooded out, there'll be about a billion moneh who are shocked to see someone like me. I get a lot of stares, a lot of people talking, probably mostly negative due to the lack of Gurmat influence in the area; but rarely anyone approaches me. Mans even staring at me while I'm eating langar!

I feel a lot of pressure not to come across as stuck up, but I'm not generally an extrovert that approaches random people staring at me to start a conversation with them. I do my own thing, try to ignore what's going on around me, and I doubt that comes off well to people who are judging me.

I want to be inviting to those who just might be interested in this path. Most people I encounter probably aren't, but what about that 1%?

I just find it extremely difficult. I'm sure I overthink this all, but it's a bit hard not to when you're in this situation. Thing people don't realise is that I used to be in their shoes, and I'm a normal person who doesn't think differently of them.

[simran345]

@Singhnee. No penji u are not overthinking this. I also used to live in an area where there was very few amritdharis at the gurdwara. And it was the same as u said, either only amritdharis were in their own group or the non amritdharis which were more. So the non amritdharis were not able to understand or communicate with amritdharis because of the barriers created, as there was no awareness or Sikhi education at the gurdwara apart from punjabi classes. But when I moved city I wanted to learn about Sikhi more as I was living amongst lots of amritdharis.

The environment we live in also has an effect on the youth as they are only being exposed to what everybody else is doing. If u think about it how can a child choose the right toy to play with when only one is put in front. If there is no Sikhi awareness how will they know? So it's up to ur gurdwara to create these via projection translation, stalls, classes so all including adults learn.

Many people just go to gurdwara as that's what they have been used to through elders, they have the respect but don't know enough about Sikhi, so the stares and talking which may not be negative talking. I think they probably wondering why u are amritdhari and their kids are not as they probably don't understand the love for Sikhi as much as u.

It's the change that has caused the barrier, nothing else as it's troubling them, which is a good thing as they are actually concerned about why. So slowly their will be elderly ladies coming up to u and asking u why u became amritdhari.

Don't feel pressurised, just go at the pace Guruji wants you to, as you made a good choice so no need to feel any pressure or judgment from others. Try to serve at langar time, or do seva which involves talking to Sangat. Maybe hold a stall, ask the committee to do these things.

You are doing great with the camp seva, and I'm sure the Sangat appreciates that.

You are a princess Kaur, so people will stare at Gurujis daughter who is not stuck up but just has a roop that feels stronger to their souls and they are not used to it as do not have that company.