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gsingh9

Sister Being Treated Unfairly Because She Is A Girl

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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

The bellow is a post from a Kaur on another forum, and I would really appreciate if the Sangat on here especially Kaurs could help her.

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All posts on here will be copied and pasted. Thanks in advance

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

I’m a sikh girl currently in my teen years attending high school and have been facing so many issues with my family and have become fed up with it. I come from a family of 4 daughters and my parents have always wanted a son as long as i can remember. They always remind me of how i’m a girl and shouldn’t being doing certain things. I was okay with it because I understood how if i did certain things, it would affect my family’s image in society but now it’s becoming too much.

They are just accusing me for the most random things like how they think I’m on drugs when I’m actually just tired after long day of first going to school and then going to work and then I also have to complete my homework. Now that its the summer, my life revolves around my job and doing the household chores. I get taunted for everything I do on a daily basis. If i touch my phone to text my manager about my schedule they will automatically think that I’m texting my friends or that I have a boyfriend. If I go upstairs to my room and sit at my desk sorting old school work, they will yell at me and again accuse me of being a “bad” girl and force me to come sit downstairs on the sofa.

Whenever they pick me up from work they start talking to me about how arranged marriages are better and that if i ever get a boyfriend they would kick me out of the house or even kill me, or about how they don’t want me going to university in another city because they think I’m going to become a “bad” girl and how its going to affect my dad’s image in society.

I have developed a fear against them now and am scared of even going biking outside with my cousin as I feel like they are going to accuse me of something when i get back. My dad has a really bad temper and I have been through a lot of physical abuse growing up and to make myself feel a little better I would pick up my Gutka sahib and start doing prayers, hoping that maybe waheguru has something better for me in the future and that it will be ok, but now I’m becoming doubtful.

I have no one to share my feelings with because my parents will just think i’m faking it and my sisters just don’t get what i try to tell them. I’m losing my friends because I am not allowed to go to their birthday parties or just go out with them in general, so they get mad at me. From when I was younger, my mother constantly tells me about the duties of a girl and if she lost her temper with me she would tell me how it would have been better if she had aborted me at birth. I’ve cried myself to sleep so many days of my life.

my dad has pulled my hair,made me stand outside in the cold,and spilled milk that I was drinking all over my face when he got mad at me for doing things like not passing the Tv remote to him or being in school group project with both boys and girls. I have attempted suicide so many times but don’t actually do it because I felt that if i managed to survive they would taunt me for the rest of my life.

Now that I’ve got a job my mom always wants me to pay for things when we go out or she wants a certain amount from my paycheque. A couple of days ago my younger sisters spilled paint all over the driveway and I had just come back from work so i had no idea about it but my dad started yelling at me and my older sister about how he thinks we are just so useless and what will the neighbours think. He told my younger sisters that he had beat me and my older sister up when we were younger and how we still remember and will do the same to my younger sisters if they do anything wrong.

I don’t know what to do and who to go to about this.

I feel so helpless and am tired of the taunting,yelling,emotional and physical abuse my parents are making me go through. Please tell me what I should do. I pray to waheguru but don’t know why he’s not listening to me. i want to move out at 18 but i know that they won't let me because I'm a girl and blah blah blah. What should i do?

Edited by gsingh9

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Very sad state of affairs parents forget they too were born to a "female" image how they would feel if this happened to their mothers.

Penji probably has, but has she sat down explained how they are making her feel.

Maybe speak to an older grandparent ?

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Penji. You don't know me, but I felt for you through your post. I somewhat understand where your coming from, because I felt the same way a short while ago. If you would like someone to talk to, private message me. Trust that waheguru always does the right thing, and gives lessons when they need to. Keep Guru Sahib in your heart always. I hope he listens to you soon.

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Guest gupt777

this is so sad i wish she could tell a trusted family membe(relative) or family friend. your parents could backlash so you need a plan b and support with whomever will be speaking to them. because we dont want more damage to be done. but for your parents to understand. its stressful for parents with daughters they are handling it not to well and they need to know that they are damaging your growth and self esteem. you are a beautiful flower you need love and support to grow. and if your parents arent comfortable with sum things they can say it more peacefully. compromise. you are your own person

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