How Sikhi Helped With Overcoming Abuse

[Guest Gupt]

What would you say to this sister?

http://www.kaurlife.org/2015/07/29/why-fathers-day-was-difficult-for-me/

[MisterrSingh]

What would I say to her? I doubt there's anything to be said to a person who's experienced those things without coming across as patronising. I would just admire her incredible strength of character and I'd be honoured to be in the presence of a genuine person of God, for there's many imitations swanning around in this day and age, but she seems to be the real deal.

[Quantavius]

I don't get it. How does putting up your story on a website help you? Wouldn't it be better to call the cops and get the 'perp' behind bars?

[MisterrSingh]

I don't get it. How does putting up your story on a website help you? Wouldn't it be better to call the cops and get the 'perp' behind bars?

I admire her candour and bravery, but I'd never do it myself even under an anonymous name. I just wouldn't share anything like that or similar private issues. I don't believe in airing my dirty laundry in public to that extent. A few vague bits here and there, but nothing further. It's a generational thing I guess, as well as people posting these type of accounts to give hope to others who've been in similar situations.

[Quantavius]

I admire her candour and bravery, but I'd never do it myself even under an anonymous name. I just wouldn't share anything like that or similar private issues. I don't believe in airing my dirty laundry in public to that extent. A few vague bits here and there, but nothing further. It's a generational thing I guess, as well as people posting these type of accounts to give hope to others who've been in similar situations.

If she was truly 'brave' she would call the cops. I don't see any bravery about putting up your story on a website with an anonymous nick.

From the website.

"Why was my father different to the fathers of other children? Why did he never take an interest in me? Why did he never buy me any gifts? Why did he not take me to the park? Why did I not have dolls and doll houses to play with?"

I don't know, I never asked those things from my parents. I'm just grateful I have a roof over my head and a meal to come home to.

[MisterrSingh]

If she was truly 'brave' she would call the cops. I don't see any bravery about putting up your story on a website with an anonymous nick.

From the website.

"Why was my father different to the fathers of other children? Why did he never take an interest in me? Why did he never buy me any gifts? Why did he not take me to the park? Why did I not have dolls and doll houses to play with?"

I don't know, I never asked those things from my parents. I'm just grateful I have a roof over my head and a meal to come home to.

Yeah, I know where you're coming from on that front. I hear a lot of... I hesitate to say 'moaning' but even from Asian guys of my age (late 20's / early 30's and older) bleating on about their otherwise comfortable childhoods, in particular how emotionally distant their father's were. I mean, come on, yes, Punjabi men of our fathers' age weren't known for their hands-on parenting skills and being in touch with their emotions in an expressive way with touchy-feely pep talks, but they were immigrants in a foreign country who were working incredibly hard to provide for their families on many fronts, and now these guys have grown up on the back of the sacrifices their parents made and it's all, "I wasn't understood as a child," or "My dad didn't tell me he loved me!" Join the club, lol, just be grateful you never went hungry or never had to worry about losing the shirt off your back. First world problems.

But in the case of the Kaur in the original article, her situation was clearly radically different. Hers was a dark situation for sure.

[Singhni MiriPiri]

If she was truly 'brave' she would call the cops. I don't see any bravery about putting up your story on a website with an anonymous nick.

From the website.

"Why was my father different to the fathers of other children? Why did he never take an interest in me? Why did he never buy me any gifts? Why did he not take me to the park? Why did I not have dolls and doll houses to play with?"

I don't know, I never asked those things from my parents. I'm just grateful I have a roof over my head and a meal to come home to.

After reading her article, all you could do was insult her by calling her ‘cowardly’ and ‘ungrateful’? She suffered from an abusive parent, and your response was only hateful and insensitive. And I don’t think you are at all concerned about getting the perpetrator behind bars and how do you know she hasn't. If you were any bit of a human, you would have been empathetic to her situation. This is where your heart should have been but of course you do not have one. She came out as a strong person and has always been good-hearted, it is an inspiring article that would help others in a similar situation to become strong. I have seen others on this forum have a similar disturbing mind-set as yours; I think I am done with this forum.

[Quantavius]

After reading her article, all you could do was insult her by calling her ‘cowardly’ and ‘ungrateful’? She suffered from an abusive parent, and your response was only hateful and insensitive. And I don’t think you are at all concerned about getting the perpetrator behind bars and how do you know she hasn't. If you were any bit of a human, you would have been empathetic to her situation. This is where your heart should have been but of course you do not have one. She came out as a strong person and has always been good-hearted, it is an inspiring article that would help others in a similar situation to become strong. I have seen others on this forum have a similar disturbing mind-set as yours; I think I am done with this forum.

Where did I call her a coward and ungrateful?

[Guest Vaheguru]

The fact that she realized who her TRUE FATHER is a blessing itself! This understanding doesn't come as an accident. Hope Maharaj blesses her chardikala for rest of her life.

[Guest Kaur]

The article was written to help others in a similar situation know they are not alone, and to help me. I found Writing is therapeutic, and it encouraged others to get in touch. Yes I've aired my dirty laundry, it's really dirty, maybe you are right and I should have stayed silent. These things should never be talked about. I should have just been grateful to have a roof over my head and food on the table, and not questioned why my father was different to others. Thank you for that perspective.

I don't claim to be brave, far from it, if I was brave I would have reported it. I am weak, brave are the Kaurs in history who I can only aspire to be like. I am Just someone who found Sikhi and Gurbani healing.

Thank you for reading and Sharing your thoughts.

Gurfateh