Get some therapy or professional help to work through your feelings about your wife's unfortunate passing. This forum won't provide you with the help you need. We are neither scholars, doctors, nor holy men. You're beginning to verge on being offensive, and I'm sure that's not your intention. A public forum is not the place for whatever it is you require. If you continue to persist with making digs at Sikhi using a tragic event as a shield to prevent being criticized, I can only theorise that you're a troll. You've been given the benefit of the doubt for a considerable amount of time, but I can only speak for myself when I say your behaviour is ringing alarm bells.
Any thinking person undergoes a crisis of faith when something unforeseen occurs in their life, especially if that person seemingly "played by the rules" and fulfilled the end of their bargain in the game of life. But that unfortunately is the haphazard, cruel reality of life. Bad things happen to good people, and there's nothing to be done about it. Justify it, seek a reason for why such a thing happened, but it doesn't erase the act itself. So, eventually one can either succumb to self-pity and wallow in grief indefinitely, or a person can decide to dust themselves off and try to make a bad situation a little better.
I speak from experience. I'm not a cold, unfeeling tyrant. I, too, have gone through tragedy after tragedy in my relatively short life, but I would never share the details on here. To stop myself from going crazy, I stopped blaming religion and stopped concerning myself with my past life shenanigans, and focused on making THIS life the best that it can be. Ultimately, that's the only solution to making your remaining time bearable.